Chapter 56

Ruby He was willing to let me go. As much as I should have felt relief I didn't. In fact, I felt the exact opposite of relief. I felt anger, rage. How could he put me through all of this? Threaten me and then give me an out. Throw me away like I was nothing. All the things he said about never letting me go, chasing me to the ends of the Earth were just empty words. I should have known this would happen. A few rough patches here and there and he was ready to give up.

"You asshole," I said with venom in my tone. He looked taken aback but I didn't care. That's exactly what he was. Maybe I was being irrational. Maybe I was acting out because he was bringing my darkest fears to life. Out of all the girls I was always the most insecure. I was tough on the outside, but I was the most fragile. I had always feared abandonment and rejection. Especially when it came to my mate because I knew it would destroy me. I wasn't like innocent Sapphire who wore her heart on her sleeve and took chances, nor was I like Jade who was one the strongest people I knew, I didn't have Crystal's spirit and drive, and I was nowhere near as optimistic as Diamond. To compare myself to level headed together Jewels would have been laughable. I was just me.

"What did you call me?"

"Ass-hole," I said more slowly. I could see the rage in his eyes as they ignited like a fire. Unfortunately for him I wasn't the least bit intimidated.

"I bared my soul to you and you call me an asshole?" I could feel the warmth from his body as his blood boiled beneath the surface.

"Because that's exactly what you are. After everything, after all you've done, you're going to just let me walk away like I mean nothing to you. You said you would never let me go." I couldn't help as my voice began to crack at the end betraying me. I was willing myself not to cry, but I could feel the tightening and burning of my throat as tears began to form. If he was angry before it was nothing compared to now. He was livid as he flipped the desk next to him and it broke into pieces.

"What the fuck do you want from me? I don't know what to say or do anymore when it comes to you. One minute you hate me. Then I try to make things right and you're crying and accusing me of not wanting you. I gave you time, I gave you space, I apologized, I tried to give you everything and still you're unhappy. You have to be the most frustrating, confusing, woman on the planet." Hearing those words made me feel worse. I couldn't believe he felt that way. But it shouldn't have surprised me.

"Is that why you don't wa-" Before I could finish the sentence he kissed me. He kissed me like I had never been kissed before. I felt tingles spread throughout my body as he held me close. When he finally pulled away I was breathless and flustered.

"I want you. Damn do I want you. You drive me insane. I never know what to expect. But you do things to me no one else can. You make me believe that maybe being just me might be enough. Which is why I plan to try each and every day to make you fall in love with me. It will be my greatest achievement. I never meant for you to feel unwanted. I would never reject you. I just wanted you to be happy. Even if it wasn't with me. I didn't want to force you to stay. I didn't want to risk you hating me. Forgive me." I was crying at this point and I made no effort to hide my tears. For the first time I actually felt like we had a chance to make things work. But could I really forgive him? Could I leave the past behind me and take a chance? Could I risk getting my heart shattered?

"I forgive you."