Chapter 35—Raine
It gets harder every day to keep my hands off Jade. When I walk past her room, I smell her scent. She is just irresistible to me. I have never ever felt this way about any one in my life. I literally don’t know what to do with these feelings I have for her. I can’t even talk to Mom about it. I did talk to my Dad though. He understood quite well. He likes Jade a lot. He wants her and I to come stay at his house. I don’t feel comfortable leaving Mom though. But it would sure be nice to get to know him better. The guy is amazing. Even if he wasn’t my Dad, I would respect him. He’s talented, smart, and devoted. He told me a little bit about what fame can do to a guy. He warned me to stay far away from crazy women and drugs. I can honestly say that he won’t have to worry about either of those. And he said when I get ready to do something with my music, he would be my manger. He doesn’t want anyone taking advantage of me. I appreciate his concern.
When I enter the kitchen, Mom and Jade seem to be having a heart-to-heart conversation. Jade looks almost afraid when I come over to the table. “What’s going on?” I ask nervously. Jade looks down at her hands that she is twisting on her lap. “Sit down Raine. I wanted to talk to you too.” Mom tells me. I do as she asks. “Raine, I know that you have feelings for Jade. I can tell.” My eyes go wide. “You don’t have to try and deny it. I'm a woman. I can sense these things.” She says patting my hand. “I understand what you both see in each other. You are both exceptional people. You deserve one another. But I don’t think Jonah will feel the same way. He still thinks Jade is the thirteen-year-old little girl she was when her Mom died. He doesn’t see that she is becoming a woman. A smart and beautiful woman.”
She looks over at me. “Raine, I can see the way you look at her. It won’t be long until Jonah notices too. Jade told me that she is in love with you. Do you feel the same way?” I nod “I do Mom. I love her.” “Well, we are going to have to do something about this. I don’t know what yet. But we can’t just keep it from him.” She tells me. “I understand.” I don’t tell her that I already want to spill my guts. I need Jade to make this decision on her own.
We eat breakfast together quietly. No one knowing exactly what to say. Mom checks the internet and finds nothing. It’s frustrating to wonder where Ezekiel is. What he’s planning. Jonah calls and tells us that Detective Bennett still has no news. Plenty of time has passed for Ezekiel to be in California by now. Is he hiding and waiting for the right moment to strike? Or does he have no idea we are in Big Sur? I want to hike and clear my head. But Jonah asked us to stay at home while he’s gone. He wants either him or I watching Mom at all times.
Jade says she wants to talk to me outside. Mom says she will be writing. We head out to the back yard. We sit on the porch swing. Jade is nervous. She won’t look directly at me. “I don’t know if I can tell him Raine. I don’t want him to be disappointed in me.” “Why would he be disappointed?” I ask shocked. “Because I should be smart enough to not fall in love with my soon to be stepbrother. Because I should be thinking about your safety, not about how hot I think you are.” That makes me laugh and relax a little. “Oh Jade, love has nothing to do with how smart we are. If that were the case, no one would ever get married. Love comes from the heart. It’s more powerful than our thoughts. Life would be much easier if we could just convince our heart who to fall in love with. Our mind is a powerful thing, but our heart is what controls what we do. And my heart tells me that it wants you, even if my mind tells me it won’t be easy.”
“I'm going to tell him Raine. Tonight, after dinner. I love you. I need to do this.” She tells me. “Thank you, Jade. Do you want me and Mom to be there?” “No, I need to do this on my own. I'm almost an adult. If I can’t tell my Dad who I love, then I need to reconsider whether I'm ready to have a relationship. And I already know you’re the one. I just need to be honest with him and with myself.”
We discuss a few ways that she can approach the subject. But nothing sounds right. She is certain he will not approve. She decides to spend some time painting in the studio. I help Mom with some laundry and other chores while we wait for Jonah to get home from work. This day is dragging on forever. I call my Dad and tell him that Mom knows about my relationship with Jade and that she is going to tell her Dad tonight. He is pleased with that decision and says that if I get kicked out, I have a place to stay with him. I hope it doesn’t come to that. I decide to cook dinner to distract myself. Mom reassures me that everything will work out. She says Jonah is a reasonable man. But I don’t know how reasonable he will be when it comes to his daughter.
Dinner is uncomfortable to say the least. Jade is too quiet. Jonah keeps asking what’s wrong. Mom is trying not to get in the middle. And I'm afraid Jonah is going to kick my butt out of here immediately. I start clearing the table and I hear Jade tell her Dad she wants to talk to him outside. After doing the dishes with Mom, her and I head to her room. We want to give them as much privacy as possible. I don’t know what will happen tonight, but I do know that nothing will be the same. Either I will openly be dating the girl I love, or we won’t be together at all. I hope it’s the former. I can’t see or hear them out there, but the minutes seem like hours.