It was hard for me to believe that Kayler and I were talking about having children again, as if we were still together, as if nothing had happened between us. It's beautiful, yes, because for a moment I thought we could be happy or try again. But then Piper and Kylie would come to mind, and those hopes would vanish. I can't pretend that I've moved on because I haven't. It's still fresh, and it hurts a lot.
The doctor arrived later with the results, and I'm nervous because deep down, I wish to have a baby with Kayler, but another part of me doesn't want to because it tells me that Kayler already has a daughter and doesn't need another one.
Kayler took my hand and smiled at me, and I let him.
"Kayler Brown, Miss Lane..." the doctor paused for suspense, "... congratulations, you're expecting a baby."
The world stopped for me in that moment... what? I try to process the information because I still can't believe it. I am... pregnant. There's a baby inside me, in my womb.
No. It can't be.
"What?" I whispered more to myself. I'm terrified. How will I raise a child? Oh God, what have I gotten myself into? Kayler beside me got overly excited, stood up, smiling, seeming like he wanted to scream with joy.
"Carolina, my love," he came towards me and hugged me, "You're expecting my baby," he said, his eyes watery. Does he want to cry? "It's the best news I've ever received. We're going to be parents."
You're already a father... I wanted to tell him, but it seemed a bit... unnecessary.
"I...," I started to say, I don't even know what the hell to say, "...I can't believe it."
"Well, believe it, sweetheart, because there's a baby growing in this belly, and it's yours and mine. I'm so happy!" he exclaimed. The doctor just smiled, watching Kayler and his excitement.
I'm still in shock.
How did all this happen? When did I get pregnant so quickly? When did I let my guard down? My head started to ache from thinking too much.
"Thank you, Russel, we'll be seeing you more often for the baby's care," Kayler said to the doctor.
"Of course, I'll schedule another appointment for you in two weeks."
I stood up, and we both left the doctor's office. Kayler held me around the waist as if he feared I would slip away and get hurt.
"Kayler," I caught his attention as we were leaving the hospital.
"Yes, darling?"
"How did this happen so quickly?" I looked at him, stopping in front of his car.
"Well, these things happen, Carolina. I just told you. You don't know how excited I am," he ran his hands through his hair, "It's what I've always wanted with you."
"Kayler, please, I still can't believe it. Now, what am I supposed to do? What care do I need to take? What should I eat and what shouldn't I? This is really difficult for me, I don't know if I can handle it," I brought my fingers to my temple.
—Relax, I won't leave you alone for a moment," he cupped my face, his touch warm and gentle. "I'll be there for you. I don't want to miss any moment of your pregnancy, that's why..." he took a deep breath, "...I'm going to move in with you."
I almost choked on my own saliva.
"What?"
"As you heard, I need to be close to you to take care of you and protect you. You may not understand, Carolina, but now that it's known we're having a baby, it will attract people who don't want that to happen."
"What are you talking about?" I swallowed hard. "Don't scare me."
"We're mates, darling, and I'm the most powerful Alpha around here."
I rolled my eyes at his arrogance.
"Having a successor doesn't sit well with some people, so they'll try to prevent this baby from being born."
"It can't be," I leaned against the car, "more enemies. When the hell will this end?" I looked at him accusingly. "Is this how you want to have a child? So that bad people want to harm him? If it were up to me, I wouldn't have it," having said that, I turned to get into the car, but Kayler grabbed my arm roughly and made me face him.
"Never say something like that again, Carolina. It's a life, and it's our child, so it's our duty to take care of it. Don't you trust that I can take care of both of you?"
"Maybe," I pulled away from his grip and got into the passenger seat. Kayler stayed outside for a few seconds, observing me, then shook his head and got into the driver's seat. He started the car.
"I don't like you saying those things."
"Kayler, you and I are no longer a couple, so it doesn't seem appropriate for you to move in with me," I spoke, although deep down, I longed to have him living under the same roof again, but now he has to take care of his daughter too. "Where will you leave Kylie?"
"Carolina..." he stated.
"What?" I glared at him. "You don't like me getting involved with her or even mentioning her? Fine, I won't meddle in your life anymore."
"It's not that, Carolina," he slammed on the brakes, almost making me hit my face. I looked at him angrily.
"What the hell is wrong with you?"
"I'm sorry..."
"You're a savage!" I slammed the car door and walked along the lonely road, away from him. I'd rather walk than get back in that car.
"Carolina, come back here! It's not good for you to walk so much," I heard him running towards me.
"Leave me alone!"
"That's enough," he held me by the waist, facing me. "My life is yours, Carolina, so you can do whatever you want with it. However, I don't like you involving Kylie in our problems because she's not to blame. She's just a child who doesn't understand why her father doesn't spend time with her, why I don't attend her school events, and why I don't consider her my daughter."
I stopped breathing for several seconds at what he said. Did he really do all those things?
"I love her, of course I do, but I can't help but think that she's the reason you don't want to be with me. I know it hurts you that I have a child with another woman."
I looked away because I don't want to look into his eyes. I feel so guilty right now, remembering Kylie and how fragile she was, needing a father. I wanted to cry in that moment.
Put your pride aside, Carolina, just this once, don't think only of yourself.
I swallowed my harsh words because perhaps my conscience was right. I've been thinking only of myself and haven't stopped to consider the suffering of others. I took a deep breath and calmed myself. I need to act like a mature person and learn to forgive.
"Alright, Kayler, you can stay at my house for as long as you want," I freed myself from his grip, "but you'll sleep in a different room, and..." I swallowed hard, "...you can bring Kylie with you."
I bit my lip because this is difficult for me. Seeing them interact as father and daughter will be... difficult.
"Thank you," he responded. "Let's go to the car."
I walked towards the car and got back in. Inside, I questioned whether what I did was right or wrong. I'm already regretting it.
I'm a terrible person.