Chapter 29 The Pain I Gave My Own Child

Chapter 29 The Pain I Gave My Own Child
Morning has already arrived, Soft light spreads across the room, and I’m starting to feel a little better.

Little Ria is sitting beside me, She has been watching me silently for a long time, as if she’s trying to look into my eyes and understand something hidden there.

Memories of Darjeeling keep circling in my mind the cold air, rain-soaked streets, and moments I desperately want to run away from.

I look at Ria, Her innocent face, her big, curious eyes, I gently lift her into my arms and ask softly, “What is it, sweetheart?”

In her small, broken voice, filled with pure innocence, she says, “Daddy… where?”

My heart freezes for a moment, I keep looking at her, unsure of what to say.

I kiss her cheek and try to smile as I say, “My doll… he’s not your daddy. You only have your mumma.”

Ria immediately pouts, She puffs her cheeks in stubborn anger and says, “No… daddy… mine.”

My patience starts slipping, I say again, “No, Ria… he is not your daddy.”

She becomes even more stubborn, “NO! You bad… Daddy good!”

Something inside me suddenly snaps.
My voice rises, sharp and loud, “Ria!!”

And in that very moment, I raise my hand.

A slap...!!!!

The mark of my hand appears on her tiny, innocent cheek, Her cheek turns red instantly.

Ria starts crying loudly, Her scream doesn’t hit my ears, it pierces straight through my heart.

I realize immediately, What have I done…

My eyes fill with tears. A painful voice rises from deep inside me, one only I can hear.

Then suddenly, “KIARA!!!”

A loud, furious voice.

I flinch badly, I turn around, Neil is standing in front of me.

Without wasting a second, he rushes forward and lifts Ria into his arms. He pulls her close to his chest, gently calming her down.

Then he looks at me angrily and says, “Don’t you have a heart in your chest? What kind of mother are you?”

Those words hit me straight in the center of my heart.

I look at him with tear-filled eyes and reply in a trembling voice, “Yes… I don’t have a heart in my chest. I’m the kind of mother who didn’t even know who her child’s father was, yet I didn’t abort her… I held her close to my heart and raised her all alone.”

As he hears this, his anger slowly fades.
The look in his eyes changes. He’s about to say something, “Listen—”

But I cut him off immediately, “Shut up! Get out of my house… and out of my life!”

I move toward Ria. I stretch my arms out to take her And that moment shatters my heart.

Little Ria turns her face away from me, She curls even closer into Neil’s chest. Her tiny fist grips his shirt tightly.

I just stand there, Stunned.

Neil says in a calm but steady voice, “My daughter needs me.”

Saying this, he sits down on the bed and starts feeding Ria chocolate.

Ria happily eats the chocolate from his hands.
A smile spreads across her face.

And my heart breaks completely.

I know… she’s just a child. She doesn’t understand any of this.

But at this moment, I am terribly alone.

The support of my life, the reason I keep living,
my entire world is only Ria.

If even she doesn’t want me, if even she moves away from me, Then what meaning does all this pain of mine have?

Perhaps… perhaps I hold no meaning in the lives of either of them.

The thought slowly settles into my mind, but it crashes onto my heart like a heavy stone.

I begin to feel as if I am nothing more than a burden a shadow whose presence or absence makes no difference to anyone.

My feet start moving backward on their own.
I think to myself maybe it would be better if I walked out of their lives. Maybe my absence would bring them more peace.

I am just about to turn away When suddenly, my steps come to an abrupt halt.

Someone is standing at the doorway.

I lift my gaze, and for a moment, my breath catches in my throat.

Mrs. Grace.

She stands there quietly, but her eyes are filled with deep understanding as if she already knows everything, without asking a single question.

I am taken aback. I quickly wipe away my tears,
making a futile attempt to hide my weakness.

She walks toward me slowly. There is a motherly softness on her face.

She gently kisses my forehead and asks in a tender voice, “How are you, my child?”

My child… Those two words break open the locked doors of my heart.

I reply softly, “I’m fine.”

But even to my own ears, my voice sounds like a lie. She looks into my eyes and understands everything.

Then she briefly glances toward the door and says, “Neil, go outside, I need to talk to Kiara.”

Without saying a word, Neil lifts Ria into his arms. He walks out of the room and quietly closes the door behind him.

An unusual silence spreads through the room.

I hesitate for a moment and say, “Please… sit.”

Mrs. Grace sits down on the sofa, then holds my hand and gently pulls me to sit beside her.

Her touch is filled with such warmth and belonging that my eyes fill with tears once again.

Holding my hand in both of hers, she says, “I know, Kiara, Everything.”

I look at her, my eyelashes trembling, “Neil has told me everything.”

That’s it, the moment I hear those words, my strength shatters.

I cry uncontrollably, like a heart that has carried pain for years and finally collapses in front of someone it trusts.

Mrs. Grace holds me tightly. She strokes my head gently, just like a mother comforting her daughter.

“It’s okay…” she whispers softly.
“Cry, my child, Sometimes, letting the tears fall is necessary.”

I keep crying with my head resting on her shoulder.

The burden inside me, my exhaustion, my guilt all begin to pour out with my tears.

She says gently, “Now tell me everything calmly, my child, Don’t think for a moment that I will take my son’s side, You are more precious to me than my own son, Now tell me… come on.”

TO BE COUNTINUE...!!!

Should I tell them everything ?