Chapter 179: Do you love me?

Chapter 179: Do you love me?
“What” she mouthed.
“Be honest with me Carina, was there a single drop of affection for me in your heart?”
“Huh?” she muttered again.

“You can’t answer, can you?” he said slowly.
“Harry we are divorced, why does this matter?” she asked.

Harry slowly let go of her waist and nodded, “You never loved me, you never even tried.”
“You didn’t love me either,” she shot back at him.

“You have no right to say that to me, I was ready to love you and give you a chance, you know it. I gave it my all and I barely even knew you it. I knew you were lying to me, I knew you drugged me! I knew nothing had happened between us, I regained my memories from that night and then I realized that you were lying to me, but I never left your side! You have no right to say that I didn’t love you.” Harry yelled.

Carina gasped, then burst into tears, but she quickly wiped her tears again.

“I was desperate to keep the baby, I didn’t mean to lie to you or anyone else, I was planning to do this alone before I was forced into that marriage with you. It killed me every day. Maybe that’s why I lost the baby. She was trying to relieve me of the burden.” she looked up at Harry who was also suffering from what had happened between them.

“You were desperate to keep that baby but now you are in a hurry to let my baby go. Did you ever love me?” Harry asked again.

Carina looked deeply into his eyes and sighed, “how did you know that I was pregnant?” she queried him.
“That was not the question, I said did you ever love me?”

“I love you, Harry! I love you so much. I never stopped loving you even for a single minute.” she replied.
“So why? Why do you want to get rid of my baby? You never thought of this when it was Deon!” 

“Because I learned my lessons. How do you keep the child of a man who doesn’t want you? What if someone else marries you? How do you lie to the one who loves you?”
Harry couldn’t take her excuses, if she could keep Deon’s baby, why not his? He interpreted her actions as hate because he had seen what she was capable of doing for love yet she wouldn’t have half of it for him.

“So you plan on marrying someone else right?” he asked.

Carina sighed but didn’t reply, she didn’t know what she could say to make Harry believe that she genuinely loved him. She just couldn’t get over the traumatic moments of keeping a baby when the father had already left. That was a fate she was no longer willing to accept.

“No Harry stop it, you refused to forgive me, I thought we were over. Are we not?” she asked.
“Will my answer determine whether you keep the baby or not?” he asked.

Carina stared at him and shook her head, “Don’t lie to me.” she said. “Do we have a chance?”
Harry stared at her unwillingly to answer her question because he didn’t know whether he wanted her back or not, he wasn’t sure what he was going to do, but he didn’t want his baby flushed away.

“Are you not going to answer me?” she asked, trying to get a positive response from him.
“I don’t know Carina, but if you let this baby go then that’s the end of the road for us,” he said.

She stared at him with a smile though she was hurt in so many different ways she managed to wear a bold smile. In other words, he hadn’t made up his mind about giving them another chance but letting the baby go was going to end any chance of a reconciliation. That wasn’t reassuring at all. It hurt in so many ways.

“Thanks for your answer,” she said and quickly headed for the door,

Harry nodded slowly and turned around to watch her leave, he didn’t want to let her go yet he didn’t want to forgive her either. He didn’t see himself with anyone else yet he couldn’t let go of the pain this woman had caused him.
 A few minutes after she had left, Nathan flew in. He couldn’t understand why Carina was leaving alone. Had Harry agreed to the abortion? He needed to find out and intervene if necessary.

“Harry, you let her leave alone?”
“Yes, What was I supposed to do? Lock her in here?” Harry snapped.

“So you agreed to the abortion?”
“I didn’t agree, but I’m no longer her husband, I can’t decide what she does,” Harry replied.

“But you are the father,” Nathan insisted.
“What am I supposed to do Nathan? She wants us back or she will terminate, yet she was the one who hurt me and left. Why is she the one calling the shots?” 

“She hurt you, I understand but can’t you let it go? She has apologized and even risked her life for you, can’t you just let it go?” 
Nathan’s question provoked Harry to the extent that he almost hit him, “She kissed her ex while still married to me.”

“Yes and she was wrong for that, but sometimes that’s how it works. She didn’t get the chance to decide if she was over him or not and that’s why she made that mistake and Harry that’s how it works sometimes. You kiss your ex till you realize that it doesn’t feel the same anymore, it’s like your favorite dress, and you refuse to let it go even when everyone says so. Then one day you wear it again and then you realise for yourself that maybe it is time to let it go. She grew up and learned that for herself so why don’t you just forgive her?”

Harry quietly went and sat behind his desk with his hands clasped together, “Can I be alone?”