Chapter 7

Dysfunctional Family Could someone please kill Nikki Peterson? It shouldn’t be too hard, since the ho clearly hasn’t eaten in months and won’t put up a fight. The bitch is stinking up my favorite guilty pleasure show!

—Instagram posting That afternoon, I sat in my office and stared at the pile of scripts that never seemed to get any smaller. Between the problem that was Jeremy sitting a few feet away and the realization that was Cassie, I felt like my brain had melted into a gluey substance better suited for an arts and crafts project than thinking.

But still, I couldn’t stop. Cassie had opened my eyes, whether she knew it or not. We operate on so many assumptions in life, whether it’s the law of gravity or the belief that your parents will always be there for you or that when a guy says he likes you that means he likes you more than any other girl.

I was tired of driving myself crazy. I wanted to act. I picked up the phone.

“BRRB,” Jeremy said almost instantly.

“Dinner, tonight?”

I had a plan. If Jeremy was on the fence, I was going to shove him off it. Whether he liked it or not.

***

“Where are we going?” Jeremy asked as I led him across the lot. “We’re not eating out of the dumpsters behind the commissary, are we?”

“Of course not.” I’d asked Madison to leave the Dahl House open for me after she left. I’d said I needed a little peace and quiet to get some studying done, since I wasn’t in the mood for a lecture a la Dr. Phil. Shooting was finished for the day, so Jeremy and I would be alone.

“Close your eyes,” I said, taking him by the hand. Just touching him made me feel weak and tingly at the same time.

I led him up the steps, one at a time, then flung open the door. I’d managed to sneak in some sandwiches during my break. It wasn’t fine dining, but that really wasn’t the point. “Surprise,” I whispered in his ear.

Jeremy looked around. “Is it cool we’re here?”

“Absolutely,” I said, bouncing on the bed, hoping he’d get the hint.

But he didn’t. Instead, Jeremy walked around, looking at everything intently, like he was in some natural history museum of starlets or something. “This is Madison’s, right? Jesus, this is bigger than my whole apartment!”

“Hungry for anything?” Again, big hint. I was still sitting on the bed. I watched as Jeremy nodded and started unwrapping his sandwich. Where was the guy who’d made out with me in the parking lot? Was I pushing too hard? Was I acting trashy? What was I doing wrong?

I reluctantly walked over to the tiny dining table and grabbed my chicken sandwich from the commissary. “This was a good idea,” Jeremy said though a mouthful of roast beef. “It’s nice to be able to spend some time alone together.”

I nodded. I wanted to ask him a hundred questions. How was Marlene’s father? Had he broken up with her yet? Did he still care about her? Where did I rank? Instead, I turned on the television.

“Anything on?” Jeremy said, sitting down on the sofa. “I bet she gets HBO and Netflix, even. Man, I’m surprised you don’t hang out here all the time.”

I shrugged. “I guess.” Did we really have to talk about the Dahl House ad nauseum? I finally landed on some old movie, I think it was “Harold & Maude,” and left it there. It didn’t really matter what was on. I wanted all of Jeremy’s attention for myself anyway.

I snuggled up next to him on the sofa. “Hey, handsome,” I said in my sexiest voice. I tilted my head toward his, hoping my telepathic messages would get through. Kiss me, kiss me, kiss me. Now.

And, finally, he did. His lips, so perfectly soft. Kisses that were never sloppy, not too hard, just right. His fingers traced over my face, down my neck, and further. My back arched beneath his touch, trying to crawl inside the warmth of him. I didn’t have to dwell on this. I blocked out any thought of Marlene and her dad, of Madison and her disapproval, of anyone else in the whole wide world. At this moment, there was only the two of us, and I knew, in my gut, it felt right. And finally, finally I was sure.

He would be my first. I couldn’t imagine feeling the way I did about him about anyone else. I knew this was way beyond a stupid schoolgirl crush, so much deeper than what I had with Dax. This was intense, like a drug rush (not that I would know, but I’m guessing). The reality of it washed over me, insistent and unavoidable. This was meant to be.

I pushed Jeremy back on the sofa, desperately trying to remember what Madison had told me about having sex with Todd. What she said came back to me in a tangled rush of incomplete phrases. Straddle him. Unbuckle his belt. Be careful with your teeth in… sensitive areas. It didn’t all make sense, but I figured it would, somehow, eventually.

I kissed Jeremy, keeping my eyes open, reading his face. His eyes were closed, his eyelashes inky black against his flawless pale skin. I reached for his belt buckle, unhooking it. I shakily unbuttoned the first button. And the second.

And then, without opening his eyes, not even breaking the kiss, Jeremy grabbed my hand. “Slow down, tiger,” he whispered, tenderly grazing my face with those gorgeous lips.

“Why?” I asked, sitting back on the sofa. I felt my heart beating a rumba in my chest. It was like I was putting on the breaks going 100 miles per hour, and I didn’t like it. Stopping meant thinking, and I didn’t want to think. Not now.

“Because I want us to take it slow,” Jeremy said. “As much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, and believe me, I do, I think it’s a little soon.”

“Don’t you want to?” Didn’t he realize this was a big deal for me? Or was that scaring him off? “I mean, I want to.”

“I do. Really, I do. Just not now.” Jeremy stood up, smoothing his red polo shirt into his khakis. I’d practically crawled all over him, and he wasn’t even wrinkled. It was like Jeremy was somehow unreachable. I didn’t even leave a trace.

Jeremy sat back down next to me, taking my hand in his. “Let’s just enjoy a little time together. Watch a movie. You know?”

I nodded, mutely. I couldn’t imagine watching a movie, not now. But I sat quietly, letting the images flicker above my head. They were meaningless to me, blotted out by my own internal soundtrack. What did this mean? What did he think? What was I missing?

I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts, I almost jumped out of my skin when the Dahl House door banged open. Nikki and Ren, kissing desperately and tearing off each other’s clothes like wild animals, stumbled in, banging against the opposite wall and dissolving into giggles as Ren dropped his pants to the floor and started pulling at his boxers.

“Oh my GOD!” I screamed. I couldn’t help it. If I didn’t say something, I was going to be sitting in the middle of the world’s grossest live sex show.

Nikki screamed, and Ren, who really was old enough to have a full-blown heart attack, started looking wildly around the room. “Who’s there?” he barked.

Jeremy, cool as a cucumber, just smiled at him. “We’re Madison’s friends. Were you looking for her, perhaps?”

“No, no,” Ren said, quickly pulling up his pants. Nikki couldn’t even look at me. She was fully out of her bra, and she turned her back to us while she tried to hook it back together. Now that I’d gotten over the initial shock, this was actually kind of funny. I guess the rumors about Nikki and Ren had been dead on.

“Then how can we help you?” Jeremy continued. No way was he letting Ren off the hook.

“Wrong trailer. Sorry,” he mumbled before darting out the door. But Nikki hesitated, as if she wanted to say something. Then she ran out the door.

My date, already on the downhill slide, was ruined beyond resuscitation now. Plus, I had some important news for Madison. “Mind if we call it a night?” I asked Jeremy.

Jeremy laughed and kissed me. “Sweetheart, I don’t think I could follow up that act if I took up chainsaw juggling.”

***

I was practically bursting with the news about Ren and Nikki by the time I pulled into the driveway at home. I hadn’t wanted to call Madison on the phone. This news was simply too important not to be delivered face to face.

But I totally forgot about Ren and Nikki when I walked into the house. There was Victoria, her eyes red from crying, sitting at the dining table. Madison stood behind her, her arms on her shoulders, while my dad sat quietly at the other end of the table looking stern. This, in short, did not look good.

My father turned to look at me. “It’s after nine. Where have you been?”

“I’m sorry, I was, uh, working late,” I stammered, but I don’t think he even heard my answer. He was focused on Victoria.

“I’m moving back home for a while,” Victoria managed to say before bursting into a fresh crying jag.

“Michael broke up with her,” Madison whispered over her head.

“I broke up with him!” Victoria howled. “I caught him with her! In his dorm room!”

“Such a responsible girl. And now she is boy crazy,” my father said, shaking his head.

“I’m not boy crazy because the school shrink gave me Prozac,” my sister hissed.

“You crazy because of a boy; I call that boy crazy!” my dad yelled.

“You’re on Prozac?” I couldn’t believe it. Victoria, the goddess of you-can-do-it vibes, was depressed? Maybe that accounted for the weight gain. I knew I certainly turned to the temple of junk food when I was down.

“My shrink says I need it to get me out of the cycle I’m in,” Victoria said, blowing her nose into a wadded-up Kleenex. “It’s not like I’m really nuts or anything. Despite what Dad thinks.”

“Three girls in this little house,” my dad said, shaking his head.

“Well, maybe not,” Madison said hesitantly.

My dad’s head shot up. “You want to move out?”

“Not right away. I mean, I have to look for a place. But my accountant said I should put some money into property. You know, for tax purposes.” Madison looked as nervous as if she was asking her real dad permission to move out. Not that she knew who her real dad was. “I want to give you a little something, to help you make the mortgage once I’m gone, too.”

“That is not the point,” my father said soberly. “We don’t want you to be sick anymore.”

Madison smiled. “I’m not. Really. I’m better than okay.” She rolled up her shirt sleeve, revealing a tiny bulge on her bicep. “See? I’ve got muscle, even.”

Victoria stared at Madison. “You do look better,” she admitted. And it was true. Madison had told me she was working out at the studio gym three or four days a week now, and it showed.

My dad sighed. “You may be better, but this one,” he said, pointing to Victoria, “is not. I always have to worry over someone.”

For some reason, this just made Victoria start crying again. Looking at her made me feel sick in the pit of my stomach, and not just because there was a steady stream of snot running down her face. I felt nauseous because when I looked at Victoria I wondered if Marlene would be as devastated when Jeremy dropped the bomb. I thought about how it would feel to think about your boyfriend naked with another girl. And then I thought about how it would feel to be that other girl.

“I’ve got homework to do,” I muttered, dashing out of the room. I knew I should have given Victoria a hug or said something to make her feel better. Even Madison, who hardly knew her, was doing that much. But I couldn’t. I didn’t want her to see the shame in my eyes.

I flopped down on the bed and tried to throw myself into my Spanish homework, but all the phrases reminded me of the mess I was in. No es exactamente lo que quiero. It’s not quite what I want. Nada mas, gracias. Nothing more, thank you. Me estoy volviendo loco. I’m going crazy!

“You may want to talk to her,” Madison said as she came in, shutting the door behind her. “She’s a total mess.”

“I know. And I will. Just not right now.”

“I can’t believe she actually caught him with another girl. That’s gotta suck.”

“Can we not discuss this right now?” Victoria was heartbroken, I got it. I just didn’t want to think about it anymore.

“Too close to home?” Madison narrowed her eyes at me.

“Okay, change of subject,” I said quickly. “You’ll never guess who came crashing into the Dahl House to have sex.”

“Nikki and Ren?” Madison said, eyes wide as I nodded. “I knew it! Clive said he spotted them one night going from trailer to trailer.” Madison started pacing the room, flapping her arms like she trying to shake off a bug. “Oh my God! I have to have my trailer fumigated now!”

“Seriously, you should have seen it,” I cackled. “They were total beasts! Nikki was half naked and Ren actually had his pants off before he even saw us—”

“Oh my God. I hope he wasn’t going commando!” Madison paused, cocking her head. “Wait, us?”

Oops. “Well, Jeremy was on the lot…” I muttered.

Madison perched her hands on her hips. If not for the irritated expression on her face, I might have thought she was going to break into the chicken dance. “So, you weren’t studying, were you?”

“Not exactly.” I stared at my feet, completely humiliated. “But it’s not like we did anything. We’re not Ren and Nikki.” I neglected that I would have done something, a whole lot of something, if not for Ren and Nikki’s party crashing. And, of course, if Jeremy had wanted to.

Madison shivered. “Yeech, I’d hope not. At least not in my trailer. Promise me you won’t do it in my trailer, okay?”

Now that I knew Ren and Nikki had probably stunk up the place a few times, that was an easy agreement to make. “Not a problem.”

“Has he broken up with that other girl? Madge or Melissa or whatever?”

“Marlene.” And then I hesitated. I could tell the truth, that Marlene was probably still in the picture and that Jeremy wouldn’t sleep with me, even when I climbed into his lap and started ripping off his pants. God knows, nothing I said could shock Madison, she of the furry handcuffs and elevator nookie. But I just couldn’t do it. “Yeah. Last week.” I mean, Marlene’s dad had to die sometime, right?

Madison gave me a big grin that only made me feel more guilty for lying. “That’s awesome! So, you two are really an item now.” Madison sat down on the bed. “Have you done anything? With Jeremy, I mean?”

I shook my head. “Not yet.”

Madison began chipping away at the polish on her thumbnail, the beginning of the end of her manicure. “You know, I hardly remember the first time I did it I was so drunk. It would have been nice for it to be special, you know? And not with some creepy bastard in the back of a limo.”

I nodded. With Jeremy, it would be special, I knew it. Even if we ended up doing it in the back of his car. I didn’t care, as long as it was him.

“Make him do something special for you,” Madison continued. “Take you someplace nice at least. And I’m not just saying that because I don’t want you screwing around in my trailer.”

“Don’t worry about me,” I said. “How are things with Todd?”

Madison shrugged. “Good. Good. He’s coming back to town in a few days,” she said. Her voice was light and airy, but she wasn’t looking me in the eye.

“You sure?” Madison had been so into Todd even a week ago, I couldn’t imagine what could cool her jets. Did they fight? Break up? Or did someone new enter the picture? “Have you been hanging out with Taz?”

Madison sighed. “Yeah, some. But we don’t have a lot in common.”

I would have thought that the likes and dislikes of two skate rats like Todd and Taz would be pretty interchangeable, but then I remembered; Madison wasn’t sleeping with Taz.

Madison turned to me then and grinned. “Maybe we could double date. You and Jeremy and me and Todd. Wouldn’t that be fun?”

I kind of doubted it. A prep like Jeremy and a skater like Todd looked more like members of rival cliques than two guys who’d have anything to say to each other over dinner. But maybe that was me being superficial. I had hated Jeremy when I first met him, and now he was all I thought about. I thought Cassie was a bimbo when she was really a brain. Maybe I needed to stop being so quick to judge. Maybe it was worth it to dig a little deeper, to unearth the truth of people.

Looking back, I just wish I had dug deep enough.

***

I grabbed the top of Jenna’s skull-emblazoned notebook and didn’t let go. “You HAVE to come with me,” I whined. We were standing outside our lockers between second and third period, and I was desperate. Cassie’s party was a day away, and I sure as hell wasn’t showing up stag. Jeremy had already told me he was going to the hospital to visit Marlene and her dad (yuck), Madison had plans with Todd (or was it Taz?) and Victoria, well, she was free. But I couldn’t bear to spend time with her and her puffy, hangdog face. Sorry if that’s mean, but it was true.

“Maybe I’ll go. In a burka,” Jenna spat back. “She’s the enemy, Erin.”

How could I explain to Jenna that Cassie wasn’t the she-beast she thought she was? I decided to just cross my fingers and hope for the best. “To defeat your enemy, don’t you have to spend time with her? Think like her? Learn her habits?”

“What about Kelly?” Jenna asked. That wasn’t a “no,” so I could tell she was wavering.

I actually hadn’t thought about Kelly. “Do you think she’d want to go?”

Jenna bit her lower lip, thinking. “Can I tell you something? Promise to keep it on the downlow?”

I nodded. Jenna continued whispering. “I love her to death, but she’s bumming me out, Erin. She’s so depressed. I mean, I understand, but…”

“You don’t have to tell me about it,” I said. “I know from compassion fatigue.” I thought of Madison, how she could be my best friend and still exhaust me with all her drama.

Jenna arched an eyebrow in that joking way Kelly did, except I hadn’t seen Kelly do that in a long time. “Maybe we can go together. Have a beer, see how the other half lives.”

I grinned. “Maybe we’ll actually have fun.”

Jenna shook her head, but I saw the wisp of a smile play upon her black-lipsticked lips. “Never!” she screeched, making me laugh and scaring the crap out of some dorky freshmen walking by.

***

Considering that I’d gotten pretty used to glamorous Hollywood parties with tended bars, I wasn’t exactly blown away by Cassie’s soiree. There was, of course, a keg or three, located conveniently next to the pool. I saw a couple bags of Doritos get passed around, sometimes followed by a joint. It was a totally typical high school party. What wasn’t typical, at least this time, was Jenna and me showing up.

Heads swiveled as we walked out toward the pool and stood in line at the keg. No one said anything, but you could almost hear a hum course through the crowd, as one by one everyone there registered our presence. They were wondering what it meant, whether we were friend or foe. I also think they were debating whether or not to throw us into the pool and hold our heads under until we stopped struggling. Jenna and Kelly had made a lot of enemies in the last few years, and I was sure I was on a few hit lists myself.

“If I don’t make it home alive, tell my mother I love her,” Jenna whispered in my ear.

As for me, I was starting to think coming here, especially with one of the people Cassie had the most reason to hate, was a supremely dumb idea. And there, dead ahead of us, was Jenna’s most loathsome enemy herself. Cassie.

People actually stepped out of the keg line to get away from Cassie and Jenna. They knew exactly how bad the blood was between the two of them, and even beer wasn’t worth the risk of getting caught in the middle of a claws-out catfight. Someone somewhere turned off the Weeknd and Bruno Mars playlist, and all conversation stopped except for the occasional “Shhh!” I swear, it was like a shoot-out at the OK Corral.

Cassie stared at the two of us, wobbling a little on her platform flip-flops. Clearly, she’d already stood in the keg line a few times herself. Amazingly, she smiled. “Hey Erin,” she said. “I’m glad you could make it.”

And then she looked at Jenna.

“Jenna, Jenna, Jenna,” Cassie said, still smiling. “You don’t like me very much.”

I looked to Jenna, waiting for a snappy comeback. But it didn’t come. Jenna squirmed before finally answering, in a voice barely louder than a whisper, “I guess not.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Cassie said. “I’m glad you came. All is forgiven.” And then the unbelievable happen. Cassie tottered forward and gave Jenna, frozen with shock, a great big hug.

“Oooh, we need Doritos!” Cassie said suddenly, breaking the hug to chase down a bag in the kitchen.

Around us, the party resumed. People began talking, the stereo was turned back on. Someone jumped in the pool. I don’t think anyone else but Jenna and I were really floored by what happened. I guess they knew Cassie, so they weren’t surprised when she did something nice. But we didn’t, not really.

“I gotta sit down,” Jenna said, after standing in a silent, slack-jawed stupor for a few minutes.

I guided her over to a chaise lounge next to the pool and we both sat down. Greg Fromer, who I’d never liked very much, came over bearing two cups of beer. “You looked thirsty,” he said simply, before walking away.

“Why are they being so nice?” Jenna hissed at me, her eyes darting around the patio. “They’re going to kill us, aren’t they? Wait, this is a cult meeting! I knew they looked too homogenous!”

I shrugged. “Jenna, they’re just trying not to be jerks, that’s all.”

Jenna sighed. “Well, what the hell am I supposed to rebel against now?”

“You know what would be really subversive?” I asked, watching as Cassie and Lex, their feet dangling in the pool, waved us over. I stood up and kicked off my sandals. “Making friends with the fashionistas and the jocks.”

Jenna stood up, too, but shot me a dirty look as she yanked off her combat boots. “Don’t push it, sister.”

***

Walking into the Charity Action meeting that week, I wasn’t sure what to expect. Jenna and I had gotten pretty blasted with Cassie and her crew at the party, even ending up in the pool in our underwear (long story, but everyone else was doing it.). I had to admit, even though there were some people I knew I’d never warm up to (like Gina), other kids I’d previously dismissed as spoiled brats weren’t half bad. During the week, we’d all been saying hello to one another in the halls and generally acting like we weren’t silently loathing each other. It was sort of nice. Except, of course, when I thought about Kelly.

Kelly had been so wrapped up in her little ball of depression that I don’t think she’d really been aware of the seismic shift in the class dynamic. But at the meeting, everything from where we sat to what we said would be a statement. We were either with Kelly or with Cassie.

And the truth was even if I never went to another party at Cassie’s place or even had a civil conversation with the girl, I didn’t want to be on Kelly’s side this time. Don’t get me wrong, Kelly was one of my favorite people in the world. But I was tired of the pranks, and the teasing, and the meanness. I think Jenna was, too.

I looked around the room. Jenna was already there, and not at her usual table. She hadn’t moved all the way to the front or anything, but she was solidly in the middle, sitting next to the fat kid who did his homework all through the meeting each week and the foreign exchange student from Germany who considered the class a good way to work on his colloquial English. I pulled up the empty seat next to her. “This is going to be awkward,” I said.

Jenna nodded, biting her purple-painted nails. We sat quietly, waiting for Kelly. Waiting for the fallout.

It didn’t take long. Kelly walked into the room and flopped into a chair at her usual table. She didn’t even realize we’d moved. I guess it just wouldn’t occur to her that we’d do such a thing. After she’d fished through her purse from some gum, she finally looked up and spotted us. “Hey, what are you doing?” she snarled.

“Change of pace?” Jenna said with an apologetic smile. Kelly picked up her belongings and reluctantly moved next to us, shooting us a suspicious look.

It was then that Cassie walked into the room with Lex and Gina and a few other people. The pack I once hated so much. As they passed by our table, Cassie grinned. “Hey, you two! Sober yet?” Lex patted both Jenna and I on the back, and even Gina smiled.

I only basked in the warmth of their friendship for a second because that was how long it took me to catch the look on Kelly’s face. This was worse than seeing her cry at the car wash. She looked so hurt, so… betrayed.

Jenna leaned toward her, gently putting her hand on her arm. “Look, Kelly, I—”

Kelly yanked her arm away so quickly, you’d think Jenna’s fingers were attached to a hot plate. Wordlessly, she hopped out of her chair, grabbed her books, and headed for the exit.

“Should we follow her?” Jenna asked me, staring as the door slammed shut behind Kelly.

“Probably,” I said. But neither of us got up. The meeting was starting, and I don’t think either of us could face Kelly just yet. I wasn’t sure if there was a bottom to that well of hurt and pain I’d seen, and I didn’t want to find out.

You probably think I’m a bad friend. And you’re probably right.

***

I couldn’t have run any faster to get to BRRB after the meeting. If knew that if I could just kiss Jeremy, feel his arms around me, that would make the rotten feeling I had deep in my gut go away. But when I got into the office, Jeremy was stuffing scripts into his leather messenger bag. “Going somewhere?” I asked, hoping it wasn’t far or for long.

Jeremy smiled at me. Even that lifted my lousy mood a little. “Yeah, Ozzie has a story meeting at Warner Brothers, and he wants me to go with him. He wants me to give my honest opinion about the third draft of this talking dog comedy.”

“But you’re coming back, right?” I asked. He had to, or I would just curl into a ball and weep, seriously.

“Yeah, but late. Like, you may be gone by then.”

“Not if I wait,” I said with a wink.

Jeremy checked both directions for witnesses, then gave me a quick kiss. “Alright, I’m outta here.” The door was only open a crack before he turned around. “Could you do me a favor and answer phones? Just so I’m not swimming in voice mail when I come back.”

“Your wish is my desire,” I said, even though I was already thinking about how far behind I was in my script reading. Ozzie had been really busy on another project, so he hadn’t touched base with me in a while, but if he did, I was really in trouble. After all, I’d been spending most of my time at work either thinking about Jeremy or actually being with Jeremy. Calling it work hardly seemed fair.

For the first hour, I took a few phone calls and managed to plow through a so-so script about a middle-aged woman and her underage lover. I was just jotting down some notes when the phone rang again.

“BRRB,” I said, doing my best to imitate Jeremy’s snotty phone tone.

“Oh, hi, is Jeremy there?” The voice was sweet, young, definitely female. Oh my God.

“He’s in a meeting. Can I take a message?” I said, hoping my voice didn’t falter.

“Sure, um, can you tell him that Marlene called?”

Okay, I know I’m going to hell for what I did next; you don’t have to beat me over the head with it. But what would you have done? Taken the message and hung up the phone? Please.

“Oh, Marlene!” I said in my friendliest voice. “He left something here for you. I’m sorry, I was supposed to call. He said you’d come pick it up.”

Even though I’d lost it when Clive suggested I should check Marlene out, I’d never really forgotten what he said. I needed to meet her. I needed to see what I was up against, dying Dad and all.

“Okay,” Marlene said, apparently not picking up on my treachery through the phone line. “I’ll be there in, like, half an hour.”

That didn’t give me a lot of time, but it was enough. I ran to the commissary and bought two slices of chocolate cake. Back at the office, I found a leftover gift bag in the supply closet and even a rumpled silk flower from some bad Christmas wreath. Okay, it wasn’t a great present, but there had to be some reason to lure her into my web.

Watching the clock tick slowly toward the half hour mark as I sat in Jeremy’s chair, the afternoon sun burning through the office windows, I waited for the door to open. I prayed she was a bimbo. I prayed she was ugly. I begged the heavens to make Marlene the nastiest, trashiest ho-bag the universe ever created.

And then, the door opened.

A pretty blond walked up to the reception desk. She had smooth, peachy-colored skin, and, even without make-up, her lips were faintly pink, as if she’d been running. She was wearing yoga pants and a t-shirt, her hair pulled back in a ponytail. She wasn’t slutty; she wasn’t a slob. “Hi, um, I’m Marlene? Jeremy left something for me?”

She smiled at me. Not in a condescending way, not in a fake way, not in a way that suggested she might be brain damaged. She just smiled nicely.

The worst part was I couldn’t even hate her.

I pushed the bag with the two slices of chocolate cake toward her. “Yes, he did,” I squeaked. My smile was one-hundred percent counterfeit, but I hoped she’d chalk it up to Hollywood attitude.

She peeked in the bag and smiled. “That’s so sweet! He knows I love chocolate cake,” she said.

“Doesn’t everyone?” I said, I was working so hard to keep grinning, I thought my face might shatter. But now that she was here, I couldn’t let her simply walk out with her cake. I had questions I needed answered.

“Jeremy told us about your father,” I said, changing my grin to a sympathetic pout. “I’m so sorry.”

Marlene frowned. “My father? What do you mean?”

“Didn’t he have a stroke?” I asked, even though I instantly knew the answer. Her dad wasn’t recovering in the hospital; he wasn’t even ill. Jeremy had lied to me, not just once, but over and over and over again. “I must have you confused with someone else, sorry!” I chirped to Marlene. “Oh, I almost forgot. He was wondering if you could wait here for him. He wanted to take you out to dinner.” I stood up from the desk and patted the chair. “In fact, you can hang right here.”

Marlene smiled again. “Thanks, I will,” she said, walking around the desk. “I’m really tempted to eat the chocolate cake without him,” she confessed in a hushed voice, a glimmer in her eye. “Aren’t I bad?”

“Oh no,” I said, grabbing my purse and heading for the door. I wouldn’t be here to see Jeremy think fast on his feet, but I knew he would. Maybe Marlene would never know about me. Maybe she’d never have to. “I don’t think you’re bad at all.”