Chapter 5

MADISON DAHL SKATES ON THE EDGE Our spies tell us that TV starlet Madison Dahl has found love with death-defying skateboarder Todd Whaley and that they’ll soon give the relationship a public “test-run.” Let’s hope he gives the girl a helmet.

—Page Six, NY Post The trip back to L.A. was kind of a blur. I remember Dad talking about Celine Dion and how she floated above the stage on some kind of harness, and I recall Madison prattling on about Todd. Victoria wasn’t really talking to me because I ditched her at the party, but that was fine. I ended up sleeping most of the way home, anyway.

I thought of telling Madison about what happened with Taz, but I couldn’t. She was so happy about hooking up with Todd, my revelation that his bud was skeevy would just be a big drag. And just because Todd was friends with Taz didn’t mean they were the same person, anyway. I mean, look at Madison and me. The girl’s doing the nasty in parking lots and I’m practically a Vestal virgin.

By the time I got to my internship, I was pretty strung out. I’d had a pop quiz in my American history class, I’d totally spaced on my Spanish homework, and Cassie kept pestering me in the halls about doing “publicity” for the car wash. So, when I rolled into BRRB after school, I didn’t really notice the weird look Jeremy gave me as I walked past him.

It was only when I took a break from slogging through my stack of scripts (Girl meets boy who happens to be an alien—who comes up with this crap?) and headed for the water cooler that Jeremy spoke to me. “So, how was Vegas?” he asked.

“How did you know I was in Vegas?”

Jeremy turned his computer monitor toward me. The picture was dark and grainy, but there I was, clinging to Taz like a wet t-shirt on the dance floor. I may have thought the fog at XS offered total privacy, but it so, so didn’t. Thank God all we were doing in the shot was kissing. But still, it wasn’t exactly a kiss you wanted everybody you knew and possibly your Dad to see.

“Where did you get that?” I squealed. This was a nightmare, but worse. I couldn’t wake up.

“It’s on the internet. POPSUGAR Celebrity,” Jeremy said. “I guess someone recognized your date but not you. The caption just says, ‘Pro skater Taz Ericson puts on a Vegas floor show with a hot Asian chick.’”

It never occurred to me that Taz might be a celeb in his own right. Then again, we hadn’t spent much of the evening talking.

I leaned closer to the monitor. The good news was that my face was smashed up against Taz’s, so it was hard to tell it was yours truly unless I looked closely. Really, really close. In fact, if I hadn’t recognized Taz in the picture, I’m not sure I would have recognized myself.

I eyeballed Jeremy. “How did you know it was me?”

I swear to you Mr. Pasty turned completely red, right down to the tips of his ears. “You wore that shirt last week. And I recognized your bracelet.”

I looked at my wrist. Lately I’d been wearing this chunky gold charm bracelet that my mom had given me years ago. I hadn’t thought much about it. Until now. Apparently, Jeremy had been paying closer attention to me than I thought. But why? The guy hated me!

“So, I guess you’re going to tell everyone in the office, right?”

To my surprise, Jeremy shook his head. “Do you really think I’m that much of an asshole?”

“Well, yeah, kinda.”

Jeremy grinned, then looked at his watch. “Okay, let me make it up to you. I’ll buy you an iced latte or something.”

“It’ll take more than that,” I teased. Just seeing Jeremy blush had totally changed how I felt about him. I mean, sure, he’d been a big jerk, but maybe there was more to him, a sweet marshmallow center under that nasty-tasting outer coating.

Jeremy pushed the call forward button on the phone and walked me to the door. “Alright, alright. A muffin, too,” he sighed. “You hot Asian chicks are tough.”

***

One iced latte and a slice of double chocolate cake later (okay, I’m not big on muffins, sue me), I was buzzing on sugar and caffeine and, weirdly, Jeremy. The asswipe who couldn’t be mildly civil when I started the job was suddenly a completely different person. He joked around about Ozzie and the stupid errands he had to run for him (like picking up his Viagra prescription at Rite Aid), his lamest classes at UCLA, even his clueless screenwriter wannabe roommate. I could barely get a word in edgewise. But when I finally did, I didn’t mess around.

“I’ve gotta know something,” I said, stirring the last little bit of coffee slush in the bottom of my cup. “Why were you such a creep to me when I started?”

Jeremy shrugged. “It didn’t seem fair. I had to jump through hoops for this gig, and you just know someone who knows someone.”

“That probably would have ticked me off, too,” I admitted.

“It took me a while to realize you were actually smart. I can sometimes hear you telling Ozzie about the scripts you read. I like the way you think.”

Wow. This guy wasn’t just a mushy marshmallow center, it was like that nasty outer coating had completely melted away. I smiled at him. “Thanks.”

There was a pause then, the two of us just staring at each other over the table. I felt exactly like I was on a date. And Jeremy, so clean-cut in his little dress shirt and khakis, totally passed for boyfriend material, the kind I could take home to dear old Dad.

“What are you going to do about the picture on the internet?” he asked, looking into the bottom of his cappuccino.

“I don’t think there’s anything I can do,” I sighed. “Nothing ever dies on the internet.”

“I’ve got that blogger’s phone number in my files, you know,” Jeremy said. “I bet if you offered him a scoop on Madison sometime, he’d probably pull the picture.”

“A scoop?” No way was I selling out my best friend over some grainy camera phone shot.

“Nothing scandalous. Maybe just news on what she’s working on, that sort of thing.” Jeremy smiled at me over the table. “Although, I’d hate to see that picture go. Nice skirt.”

“Maybe you are still a jerk,” I joked, tossing my wadded-up paper napkin at his face.

But I had to hand it to Jeremy. One phone call later (the blogger guy was so much nicer than I expected), the photo was off the site. “Now I think I owe you,” I told Jeremy as I headed out of the office at the end of the day.

“I’ll think of a way for you to pay me back,” he purred. And then it was my turn to blush.

***

For the next week, I hardly saw Madison. That was sort of Jeremy’s fault. After the website incident, we started hanging out. Nothing serious, mind you. Just sitting around the office after hours talking about movies (he demanded I watch “Midnight Cowboy”), music (we both loved Morrissey and the Flaming Lips), books (we agreed on James Ellroy, but not a lot else), and all manner of other random stuff. I hardly thought about Madison, really, which was good. Because she was more distracted than I was.

She was either with Todd, on the phone to Todd, or texting Todd. And if she wasn’t actually communicating with Todd, she was talking about Todd. As annoying as it was for the airwaves at home to be tuned to Todd FM all day and night, I couldn’t complain. She was happy, and most importantly, she was eating.

“Todd says vegetables are, like, pure energy,” Madison said as she scooped two helpings of spinach onto her plate at dinner one night. I’d already noticed her arms looking less skeletal but hadn’t said anything for fear she’d lose it and start starving herself again.

“Todd knows a lot,” my dad said patiently. He’d probably heard all he could stand about Todd, too. Madison’s nonstop nattering had even driven Victoria off, possibly because it interfered with her own nonstop nattering about Michael. What is it with girls, anyway? Throw a guy into the picture and suddenly a perfectly intelligent chick turns into a babbling, boy crazy spaz.

“Oh, Todd can come to the car wash,” Madison said. “He can find out if Taz is around if you want him to.”

Oh, God. Taz. “No, that’s okay. I don’t think Taz and I are a good fit.”

Madison nodded sympathetically. “It’s the Mohawk, isn’t it? Green is a bit much.”

“Yeah,” I fibbed. I didn’t dig the green hair, but she didn’t need to know that wasn’t the real problem.

Later that night, I waited until Madison and I were alone in my room to tell her about the whole website fiasco. Just to make sure she got it, I had printed out a screen grab before it was deleted.

Madison looked up from painting her toenails and let out a whoop when she saw the picture. “Oh my GOD, Erin, that is so not you!” She grabbed the paper, eyes wide. “I thought you didn’t like the green Mohawk!”

“Yeah, well, it was just a kiss.” Okay, a little white lie there, but she didn’t need to know that. “I hope it’s okay, but I struck a deal with the blogger guy,” I said, turning back to the task of picking out my clothes for school the next day. I couldn’t stand to see that picture one minute longer than I had to.

Madison let the sheet of paper flutter to the bedspread. “That doesn’t sound good,” she said, her voice taut and sharp-edged.

“I just have to give him some little item at some time in the future. Anything, it doesn’t have to be juicy. You can come up with it, whatever you want.”

Madison didn’t say anything for a minute, instead slathering another coat of Regal Red on her toes. “I guess that’s okay. But you have to let me pick it. Sometimes gossip can be kinda helpful if you do it right.”

I nodded, relieved. “Thanks for understanding, Madison. I mean, I’d die if my dad saw it.”

“Did you guys, you know?” Madison made an obscene gesture with the nail polish bottle I won’t even get into.

“NO! Taz is a little more adventurous than I am,” I said.

“Well, you’re a little more adventurous than I thought you were!” Madison hooted, throwing a pillow at my head. “Slut!” she giggled.

I guess I could have told Madison about Taz then. It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal, really. Now that the initial shock had faded, I was starting to feel stupid for how I handled the moment, running out of the party like a frightened little kid to go have ice cream with my daddy. Now, of course, I realize how much I blew it. But hey, hindsight’s 20/20, right?

***

I expected the car wash to be in full swing by the time I pulled up at noon. The sun was beating down, and the Santa Ana winds had already covered all the vehicles in L.A. with dirt and pollution.

But pulling into the school parking lot, all I saw was one propped-up sign on pink cardboard, a hose, and a bucket. And not one Bev Hills student in sight.

As I pulled up, I heard giggling coming from around the corner of the building. “Hello?” I called.

Cassie and Lex, one of the football jocks, wobbled around the corner. Even from this distance, I could tell they were wasted. Behind them, I could hear talking and giggling. Yup, the whole crew was here. Hiding.

“Oh, hi, Erin,” Cassie drawled. She was almost popping out of her bikini, which looked like three strategically positioned postage stamps held together with string. “We’re waiting for people to show up. Want a beer?”

“Uh, no. Can’t we drum up some business? Madison’s supposed to be here in an hour, and she’ll have Todd Whaley with her.”

“The skater?” Lex shouted. “He’s totally righteous!”

God, could he be a bigger tool? I couldn’t believe I actually dragged Madison into this mess. “Seriously, we’re going to look stupid if no one’s getting a car wash when they pull up.”

Cassie blinked at me like I was an apparition she could wish away. “Alright, chill. GINA!”

Gina sashayed out from behind the building, striking her best pose from the irritated diva collection. Cassie pointed out to the street. “Get everybody out here, Gina. And go wave the sign or something. Let’s make some money.”

Gina sighed mightily, but she did it, and before long cars were pulling in. It wasn’t a steady stream, but at least it was a steady trickle. By the time Madison and Todd arrived, I was soaking wet and starting to sunburn, but I guessed we must have made at least $300. I only hoped nobody came back for a refund once they got their cars home and realized all the cute girls in bikinis were too drunk to rinse off all the soap or wash their hubcaps.

When Madison and Todd pulled up, two TV news trucks were right behind them, along with Patty in another car and a caravan of at least ten shutterslugs. Madison stuck her head out the window and yelled back at them. “You only get a picture if you get your cars washed!”

I’d always hated the paparazzi. They were pushy, they were sneaky, and most of them looked like they needed a shower. But at the car wash that day, I discovered that, at least some of the time, they can be pretty cool. They all dutifully got their cars washed, one by one, and some didn’t even ask for change back from a twenty. One skinny French guy even got out of his SUV to help out, turning the hose on Cassie and Lex in the process.

“HEY!” Cassie screamed, quickly covering her chest with her arms. Somehow I don’t think her ridiculous bathing suit was supposed to get wet. “Careful, people!”

Once Madison and Todd got out of their cars to talk to the television crews, things got really busy. At one point I looked down the driveway and counted fifty cars, all waiting patiently for their lousy $10 car washes.

I was so wrapped up in washing cars, I hardly even noticed when Jenna and Kelly showed up. “Do you think she’ll talk to me?” Kelly said, pointing toward Madison.

I wanted to say yes. Instead, I said, “You can always try.” I really wished Madison would go ahead and forgive Kelly for the Malibu Barfie story, but I wasn’t hopeful. It seemed like such a little thing, Kelly taking $300 from a tabloid for spilling how Madison puked on her first day at Westhaven Middle, but for whatever crazy reason Madison wouldn’t let it go. “Just please tell me you’ll keep your burkas stashed away for a while.”

“All I’m saying is, you may want to split around three o’clock,” Jenna whispered.

I put down my sponge and walked over to where Madison and Todd were being interviewed. “I’m just here to support a really good friend of mine,” Madison told the helmet-haired newscaster. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Cassie fixing her eyeliner in a pocket mirror. Oh God, she didn’t think she was getting on camera, did she?

“And there she is!” Madison shouted, pointing at me. The French paparazzi guy gave me a gentle shove, and before I knew it I was standing next to Madison in all my drowned-rat glory. “This is Erin,” Madison said.

“And can you tell me a little bit about Charity Action, Erin?” the tiny, plastic-looking newscaster asked me, sticking a microphone in my face.

How about it’s a total sham and almost everyone here is drunk? “We’re, um, committed to helping children’s charities,” I stuttered.

“Any one in particular?” The newscaster beamed at me again, her fake-looking bleached teeth gleaming in the sun.

“Oh, uh, Make-A-Wish. The Make-A-Wish Foundation, for sick kids,” I said quickly. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Cassie’s lips pursing, as if she’d swallowed something sour.

“And how much have you raised for the organization so far? I’m sure a lot more now that Madison and Todd are here, right?”

I looked at the line, so long now I couldn’t even see the end. “Geez, I’d guess at least $2,000,” I said. “Madison and Todd have made a huge difference, that’s for sure.”

“And here’s the thing,” Madison said, grabbing the microphone. “I’ll match whatever these guys raise, and the three of us can deliver the check to Make-A-Wish together.”

A roar went up from the crowd, and Madison turned to wave. “Now, I’ve got some autographs to sign,” she said sweetly, handing the microphone back to the newscaster, who gestured for the cameraman to stop rolling tape.

I grabbed Madison’s arm before she could dart away. “I don’t think it was a good idea to offer the matching funds,” I whispered, hoping Cassie wasn’t right behind me.

“Why not?” Madison asked. But before I could explain, Kelly walked up to us, Jenna by her side. “Hi, Madison,” Kelly said, her voice wavering.

Madison forced her best Hollywood smile, the one she used for photographers and people she didn’t really like. “Hi, Kelly,” she said, then waited.

I’d never seen Kelly so nervous. “Look, Madison, I just want you to know, I still feel really bad about that tabloid story. I just… I had no idea.”

“Well, now you do,” Madison said. She was still smiling, but her voice was ice.

“I hate that we’re not friends anymore. Can’t we, you know, start over? I mean, that was ages ago, right?”

“Not to me,” Madison snapped back.

And then the moment I never expected to see happened. Kelly, strong, merciless Kelly, burst into tears. And just like that, a thousand flashbulbs popped. Seriously, you can’t get anything past the paparazzi, even when they’re being cool.

Patty came flying out of nowhere, grabbing Kelly’s arm. “She’s one of the Make-A-Wish kids!” she yelled. “It’s been her dream to meet Madison!” Gotta hand it to Patty, the woman thinks fast on her feet.

The paparazzi all looked a little disappointed. You could practically see them mentally scratching out their “Lesbian Love Affair Exposed!” headlines. Kelly just stood there, waiting for Patty to let go of her arm. Then, once everyone had gone back to what they were doing, Kelly turned and walked away.

I looked at Jenna. She was almost shaking with rage, her hands balled into fists by her sides. “Nice, Madison,” she spat. “Real nice.” I could tell she wanted to say more, the words trembling on her lips, but she just turned and ran off after Kelly.

Madison sighed and gave me a quick hug. “Okay, that’s definitely a sign it’s time for me to leave,” she said. “Keep me posted on the Make-A-Wish thing, okay?”

“Madison, wait—” I said, but before I knew it, she and Todd had climbed back into their car, the caravan of paparazzi scrambling back to their vehicles to catch them. One guy even drove off in mid-soap, almost running over Cassie’s toes.

Oh, yeah. Cassie. I tried to sneak out after Madison, but, after she cussed out the toe-smashing paparazzi, Cassie came barreling after me. “Thanks a lot, Erin,” she growled, jabbing a sharp fingernail into my chest. “Now we have a commitment to Make-A-Wish that we can’t take back.”

“So what?” I wasn’t going to let this whiny bitch hassle me for actually trying to give funds to something other than her next kegger. “We give the money to Make-A-Wish, it’s great publicity for the school, and it’s a great charity. I haven’t heard you ever name a single charity in one of our meetings, although I hear an awful lot about the ‘kids,’” I snarled, making ironic air quotes.

“Since you know so much about how we run things, you probably know I already promised this money to the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. But hey, they don’t need it, right?”

Oops. I was shocked. I mean, seriously, Cassie’s breath still reeked of cheap beer. “Maybe we can split it up? Half and half?”

Cassie shook her head. “Did you forget you made that little announcement about the $2,000?”

Lex walked up behind Cassie, a mean, stupid grin plastered on his face. “Which, by the way, isn’t even accurate. We made $1,760 bucks. But maybe Erin and her famous buddies can make up the difference.”

“Look, I’m sorry,” I said, feeling truly awful. “I’ll make it up to you guys, I promise. Just… I’ll figure something out, okay?”

“You better, Erin,” Cassie said, crossing her arms over her enormous chest like a super busty, half-naked prison guard. “Because if we get in trouble for defrauding a charity, I’m putting all the blame on you.”

***

All the way home, I just kept texting on my phone, trying to get a hold of someone, anyone, to get this mess sorted out. I tried Jenna and Kelly over and over, Madison, even Victoria. But it was like the whole world had turned their phones off. Why is it you can never get through to people when you need them?

That night, I figured that I’d just wait for Madison to come home to solve the Cassie problem. By that time I had it all figured out, anyway. She and Todd could autograph some stuff, we’d put it on eBay, and that way we’d make another $2,000 for the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation. Easy, right? But Madison, well, she didn’t come home.

At first, I didn’t think anything of it. I mean, I had homework due and a ton of studying. But around ten o’clock, my dad knocked on my bedroom door. “Is Madison there?” he asked, poking his head in.

“No,” I admitted. “Maybe she’s out with Todd.”

My dad scowled. “She should call. You call her?”

I picked up the phone, and my dad shut the door. I texted, but nothing. Then, I called. The phone rang, once, then twice, then went to voice mail. What the hell was up with her?

I hung up to try again, when the phone rang. “Hey,” Jenna said. She sounded like hell.

“Is Kelly okay?”

“Sort of. Not really.” Jenna was quiet for a moment. “That was really not cool of Madison. You know that, right?”

“I know. I mean, I can try to talk to her.” I wasn’t sure what else I could do. I mean, it’s not like Madison has ever changed her story. She said she’d never forgive Kelly, and she hasn’t.

“Just… just tell her that, whatever happens, it’s on her hands.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” I knew Jenna and Kelly could be nasty sometimes, but I didn’t like the sound of this, not one bit. “Are you planning something?”

“No, no…” The line was quiet for so long I thought Jenna had hung up. “I’m worried about Kelly, that’s all. I’m probably worrying too much, I don’t know. But I just think Madison should try to be nice for half a minute. It might help.”

“Okay, what is going on?” Jenna was being so weird, so cryptic. I didn’t get it.

“Kelly’s got a lot going on that you don’t know about. Stuff with her parents, school. Look, I can’t say anything else. Just… Yeah, if you talk to Madison, try to get it through her thick head, okay?”

The dial tone burned in my ear, and all I could wonder was how did my Saturday afternoon ride so completely off the rails? I needed to talk to Madison. And that didn’t look like it was going to happen any time soon.

***

At one in the morning, I tiptoed downstairs. I’d fallen asleep for a while, but I kept having these crazy dreams about Kelly and Cassie and Madison and Todd, the paparazzi chasing all of us like the cops in those old black and white silent movies with everyone moving superfast.

Opening the refrigerator, I looked up to see my dad sitting at the kitchen table in the dark. Waiting, I guessed, for Madison.

“What are you doing?” I whispered.

“She has not called.”

I’d been a little worried about Madison, but it never occurred to me that her being MIA would drive my dad up a wall. But of course it would. It wasn’t that long ago that my mom never came home, her body carted off to the morgue as we cluelessly went about our business.

“I’m sure she’s fine, Dad. Don’t worry.” I sat down next to him with my glass of milk. Even in the dark I could see the worry in his face.

“Curfew. We have to talk about curfew,” my dad said.

After that, we just sat together in the dark, not speaking. Killing time. And finally, my father’s prayers were answered. The front door creaked open. Madison.

We both stood up when Madison flicked on the kitchen light. The three of us stared at each other, bug-eyed, no one really sure what to do next. Madison was a guest in our home, not a daughter my dad could really yell at. And I don’t think Madison had any idea either me or my dad would actually bother to wait up for her.

“You did not call,” my father finally said.

“I’m sorry. I was with Todd, and we went hiking. Out of cell range, up in the Angeles Crest.”

My dad nodded, then slowly trudged out of the kitchen, his slippers shuffling across the floor. I waited until he’d disappeared into his bedroom and shut the door before I spoke.

“He was totally panicked that you didn’t call, Madison,” I said. “And I’ve really needed to talk to you, too.”

“I said I’m sorry,” Madison said, opening up the fridge and pulling out a package of sliced turkey.

“Yeah, I got that.” I grabbed the turkey and put it back in the fridge. “You could have called before you got out of cell range.”

Madison moved to the pantry, pulling out a box of low-fat cookies. “Look, I’m just really stressed. I’ve got to get back into the fat suit on Monday. I can’t be worrying about getting home in time for family dinner, you know?”

“Fine.” There was no point arguing with Madison. She just didn’t get it. “Look, I made an awful mistake at the car wash. The funds were already promised to Pediatric Aids. Do you think you and Todd and maybe Clive could sign some stuff so we could do an auction?”

Madison didn’t even bother looking up as she pawed through the cookie box. “Done.”

“And can we talk about happened with Kelly?”

“We already did. I don’t understand why this is a big deal now all of a sudden.”

“Jenna says she’s really coming unglued and that it would be a big help if you two made up. Kelly’s got some personal problems.”

“That’s what therapy is for,” Madison said through a mouthful of vanilla wafers.

“Man, you can be cold.”

“I’ve gotta go to bed, Erin. I’m beat.”

Madison shoveled in one last handful of cookies and handed me the box. “Look, I’m sorry you guys spent the whole night staring at the wallpaper because of me. But maybe that just means it’s time I moved out.”

“Are you serious?” I couldn’t believe it. It wasn’t that long ago Madison had been in the hospital looking like an extra from “Dawn of the Dead,” and now she was ready to move out?

“It’s not that I’m not grateful for everything. I am,” she said, patting me on the shoulder like I was a kid with separation anxiety. “And you guys have been so good to me. But, I mean, I don’t need babysitting anymore. I’m all better. Seriously. Look at me.”

I did. She was still thin, but not in a scary way. Madison smiled, then walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind her. I should have been happy. Madison had declared herself cured, and I could finally have my room all to myself. So why was my Spidey sense tingling?

I was too tired to think about it. Jenna and Kelly and Madison and Cassie and all their crap could wait until tomorrow, or next week, or maybe forever. I trudged back to my room and fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. I guess milk really works.