Chapter 4

Is Madison Dahl beefing up bigtime? We hear that the scrawny actress will be putting on the pounds for a new Family Style plot twist overnight—thanks to a fat suit. But will fans still love her as a big-bottomed girl?

—In Touch Weekly There was something supremely weird about sharing a limo with my dad, Victoria, and Madison for the four hours it took to get into Vegas, but there are worse ways to spend an evening. Madison wanted to make sure we got in Friday night so we’d have a whole weekend to explore the city.

“Can we drink the stuff in the bar?” Victoria asked, eyeing the glass decanters of vodka, rum, and who knows what lined up against the minibar built into the back of the driver’s seat.

“Sure,” Madison shrugged. Victoria reached for a glass, but just then my dad cleared his throat loud enough for all of us to get the point.

“Orange juice it is,” Victoria sighed, reaching into the mini refrigerator instead.

Even with Las Vegas so close to L.A., I’d never been before. My goodie two-shoes parents were pretty turned off by a place with a nickname like “Sin City,” and we’d never taken a lot of family vacations to begin with. Honestly, Vegas always sounded like a tourist trap to me, rows of gaudy hotels filled with old people gambling away their Social Security checks. And I still think that’s kind of true. But when we hit the Strip, the lights shining so brightly it made the early evening dusk look like daylight, I’ll admit it. I was blown away.

I’ve never seen so much neon. And it wasn’t just that. Outside one hotel there was a fountain with water that jumped high into the air in time to a piped-in Sinatra song. In front of another there was a volcano spewing fire and smoke. One place had a pirate theme and there were actual pirates (okay, actors in pirate costumes, whatever) swashbuckling all over the place. Sure, it was completely cheesy and over the top. But it was still fun. Think Disneyworld, but with strip shows and slot machines.

Madison had her face pressed to the window just like I did. “Check that out,” she said as we passed the volcano. “I wonder if that’s where they throw you if you can’t pay your gambling debts.”

“Celine Dion!” my dad yelled, pointing to where the shlock diva’s name glowed in 20-foot letters. At least I wasn’t the only one who was excited to be here for the weekend.

Even though it seemed totally out of place in Sin City, our hotel, The Bellagio, was pretty cool, too. Not only was it the one with the dancing water fountains out front, but it was also the one that had an indoor botanical garden and an art museum. I couldn’t imagine who came to Vegas to see art or a garden, but it was still gorgeous. Even the lobby was super fancy, with hundreds of enormous glass flowers hanging from the ceiling.

At check-in, all of us were so busy staring at the ceiling, we didn’t even notice when the line started moving.

“They’re so pretty,” Madison whispered. “I so would do my house like that, you know?”

“Could you guys move or something?” a voice said.

I finally tore my eyes away from the ceiling. A scruffy blond guy was staring at us, and he was almost as brightly colored as the ceiling. Orange flip-flops, board shorts, a moth-eaten Dead Kennedys t-shirt, and wall-to-wall upper body tattoos. He had full-on yakuza sleeves and even some tats on his neck. Now, instead of the ceiling, I was mesmerized by this guy’s arms.

“Sorry,” Madison said, quickly shoving her bags forward.

“Hey, you’re that girl on TV, Madison something,” the scruffy guy said. “You’re really good.”

“Here we go,” I whispered to Madison, expecting an eye roll in return. But Madison blushed and giggled instead, covering her mouth with her hand like a geisha. I couldn’t believe it. She was actually vibing this guy!

“Right. Dahl,” she said. “And you’re Todd Whaley.”

I’d heard the name Todd Whaley before. I knew he was a big-time skater and even had his own video game, but I could never have picked the guy out of a line-up. I wasn’t into the skate scene, but I guess Madison had been paying more attention than me.

Todd stuck out his paw to shake and Madison took it. I noticed they held hands just a little longer than necessary. “Hey,” he said. Todd was clearly a man of few words.

Madison finally realized she had the entire Park family staring at her while she made goo-goo eyes at this random guy. “Oh, these are my friends, the Park. Erin, Victoria, and… Mr. Park.”

To his credit, Todd shook hands with each one of us, even though my dad looked like he was afraid he was going to catch something from him.

“Are you going to the award show?” Todd asked Madison.

She nodded. “Presenting.”

“Me, too,” he said with his lopsided grin. “Maybe we’ll be presenting together.”

Madison blushed again. “Maybe.”

Behind us, I saw one of the receptionists waving us toward her. “Madison,” I said, pointing toward the woman.

Madison looked a little irritated. She turned quickly to Todd. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

Todd grinned. Just that little facial movement made the tats around his collar dance. “Or sooner, maybe. Nice to meet you all.”

Nobody said a word until we’d piled into the elevator. As the doors closed, I snuck a look at my dad’s face. I couldn’t imagine what he would have said if I had been the one flirting with Todd. And, not surprisingly, my dad didn’t look too thrilled. But I about swallowed my tongue when he turned to Madison and said, “Good manners. Can’t be all bad.”

Madison’s face must have turned every shade of red in the crayon box. “Yeah, he was nice,” she mumbled, pressing the elevator button about a million times.

When we got to the suite Victoria, Madison and I were sharing (my dad got his own room, lucky dog), my jaw dropped. The place was like a palace. We had two bathrooms (one with a whirlpool tub!) and a living room with a separate bedroom. It was like some super glam apartment. There was even a basket of junk food and fresh-baked cookies waiting for us, a gift from the producers of the award show.

“Ugh, they sent me Scharfenberger chocolate? Are they trying to make me fat?” Madison groaned, tossing a bar of the good stuff at me like it was rat poison.

Her loss. I snapped off a chunk while Victoria hovered over my shoulder, waiting for me to show mercy and give her a bite. When I finally relented, she practically swallowed the whole thing, the pig! “So, this Todd guy,” Victoria mumbled through a mouthful. “Maybe you should call his room.”

Madison shook her head. “He’s probably got a girlfriend.”

“He looked pretty single to me,” I said, licking the last remnants of melted chocolate off my fingers. “And you said you wanted a boyfriend.”

Madison tilted her head. “Maybe I’ll bump into him at the afterparty tomorrow night.”

“Are we invited?” Victoria asked, rubbing the back of her hand across her mouth. Looking at her ratty pink sweatpants and Tri-Delt t-shirt, I sort of wondered if the girl had brought anything decent to wear. Maybe Michael had gotten tired of the frumpy college student look, too.

I could tell Madison was completely on my wavelength about Victoria. “I’ll have to check,” she said, warily eyeballing Victoria’s outfit. “I think I may only be able to bring Erin.”

“Forget tomorrow. What are we doing tonight?” I asked. Personally, I could think of a thousand things. I wondered how closely they enforced that 18 and up rule on the casino floor.

But just then, the phone rang. And color me psychic, but I knew exactly who it was. So much for the casino.

Madison lunged for the phone. “Hello? Hi, Todd,” she cooed in her sexiest voice. Then, listening, she looked at me and Victoria. “Um, yeah, sure. Sounds fun.”

She hung up the phone and grinned. “He’s having a party at XS. Can we go? Around ten?”

Victoria and I looked at each other and shrugged. “It’s not like we had anything better to do,” I said, hoping we wouldn’t end up ditched at an all-you-can-eat-buffet somewhere while Madison dragged her new boy up to our hotel suite to get her rocks off. I figured it might be fun to hang out with a bunch of skate rats. One could be cute, even. And as my dad said, “Good manners. Can’t be all bad.”

Yeah, right.

***

After speeding through a quick dinner with my dad and convincing him we had to go to bed early to get our “beauty rest” for the show, Madison, Victoria and I got ready in record time. As I suspected, Victoria had only brought one dowdy sundress to wear. But when I loaned her one of my good skirts, she almost tore the seams wide open. I hadn’t noticed the change because of her bulky sweats, but she’d gained weight. Like, a lot of weight.

“Freshman fifteen,” she grimaced, handing back what was left of my skirt.

“I’ll dress you,” Madison said. Apparently hanging out with Nikki hadn’t been a complete waste of time, because she’d picked up some of the girl’s accessory savvy. Victoria couldn’t pass for a model or anything, but once Madison paired a cleverly placed belt and some dangly earrings paired with that beastly sundress, the girl didn’t look so bad.

Actually, when we piled into the elevator, I was thinking the three of us looked pretty damn good overall. So, I really hoped that my epic struggle with liquid eyeliner wouldn’t be wasted on Todd’s friends.

“Do you think I should tell Michael I’m going out?” Victoria asked, desperately clutching her purse.

“After the fact. And only if you get lucky,” Madison declared.

“You know something? Forget Michael,” Victoria said suddenly, hands on hips. “I want to dance, I want a good stiff drink, and I don’t care how I get it.”

I think Madison and I stared at Victoria, loud and proud in her frumpy dress, for a good minute before we burst out laughing. If even my goodie-goodie sister was ready to party, the evening had some potential.

***

It turned out XS is a mega-space devoted to dancing your ass off. Oh, and there was an outdoor pool, though we weren’t allowed to get in it. Anyway, I meant to see all of the club, but once we found the dance floor, I didn’t want to budge.

“I love this song!” I yelled over a Chainsmokers remix.

“We’re going to the VIP room for the party, remember?” Madison said, dragging me away.

A bouncer checked us off a list and let us in to the space, which wasn’t a room so much as an area near the pool with some cabanas for privacy. The area was packed with tattooed skaters and, for lack of a better word, hoochies. There were girls who looked like straight-up strippers, others who looked like Suicide Girls, and others who just looked uncomfortable. Like Madison, Victoria and me.

“Do you see him?” Madison said, stepping aside as a seven-foot-tall Amazon in a tube top brushed past.

“No, but I’m ready to go,” Victoria yelled over the music, anxiously yanking on her dress.

At the bar I spotted Todd with a chick on each arm. When he saw Madison, he let go of the girls and gave each a smack on the ass to send them on their way. Nice.

Luckily, Madison hadn’t spotted him yet. “Over there,” I said, pointing through the wall of people.

“Hey Madison,” he said as we got closer. I noticed he hadn’t even changed his clothes from the afternoon. But one look at Madison and I could tell she didn’t mind a bit that the guy looked like he kinda needed a shower. She made a beeline straight for him, giving him a big hug as if they were old friends.

Victoria and I found two bar stools next to them and tried to act like we belonged there. Any thought I’d had that we looked pretty damn good was melting away in this sea of half-naked women.

After a while the Latino guy sitting next to Victoria gave us a big smile. He was kind of cute, even with his blue-black hair and scary plug earrings that always look like someone stuck a bottle cap in your earlobes. Lots of tats, of course, which were almost everywhere his Morrissey t-shirt wasn’t. “Hey,” he said. “How you doin’?”

“Not bad,” Victoria said, smiling back. “You?”

“I’ve been better,” he said, pointing to his leg. A cast ran from his ankle to his thigh. “Broke it in three places. Slammed doing an aerial. Totally stupid.”

Besides the fact the guy spoke Skate instead of English, it was so loud in the club I couldn’t keep up with the conversation. I decided to find the bathroom to kill time.

I wandered around without seeing anything that looked remotely like a bathroom (what, were we supposed to pee on the floor?) when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder.

I turned around and saw a tall (like 6’4) guy with a spiked, electric green Mohawk. I’m not really into green as a hair color, but I had to admit, Mr. Mohawk was cute, all sinewy angles with a chiseled jaw. And, of course, tons of tattoos. I was starting to wonder if they wouldn’t let a guy in here without them.

“Wanna dance?” he yelled over the music.

I did, actually. “Okay,” I said, as he took my hand and dragged me onto the dance floor.

The area was packed, but Mr. Mohawk didn’t hesitate, slicing through the crowd as I followed behind him. “This good?”

I nodded. “I’m Erin,” I said.

“Taz,” Mr. Mohawk yelled over the Skrillex remix. “Been here before?”

When I shook my head, he smiled. “You’ll love this dance floor. Just wait.”

I didn’t know what he meant until a minute later. Like magic, billowing clouds of fog began rolling across the room. Pretty soon I could barely see the people bumping and grinding around me, just their silhouettes flickering under the pulsing club lights. It was like standing with Taz in the middle of our own private, extremely noisy cloud.

“See?” Taz said with a grin. “Total privacy, baby.”

The music was pumping so hard I could feel it through my shoes, quite an achievement considering I was wearing platforms. I closed my eyes and moved to the music. It felt so good to dance, to feel the music pounding in my ears. To forget how stressed out the last few weeks had been.

I felt Taz slip his tattooed arm around my waist and pull me toward him, grinding his hips into me. His touch was like an electric shock. I wasn’t expecting it, at least not that fast. I mean, I didn’t even know the guy, and now, in an instant, I had learned a lot about him. Like, his shorts were kinda thin, and he was excited to see me.

I hadn’t been this close to a guy since Dax, and I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, honestly. I searched Taz’s smiling face for an answer. Above his left eye was a tiny eyebrow piercing, something I hadn’t noticed when we first met (the green Mohawk and the tattoos had pretty much demanded all my attention). It was just a tiny gold hoop, the kind I wore when I first got my ears pierced, but it made Taz seem a little innocent, even gentle. I focused on the gold hoop and kept dancing.

I don’t know how much time passed, how long I stood there connected to Taz at the pelvis like we were perverted Siamese twins. I squeezed my eyes shut as he pressed himself against me, kissing me. I was scared and excited at the same time, wanting to run like hell but desperate for him not to stop. I concentrated on the thumping bass that was making my heart rattle in my chest as his fingers skittered over my body like inquisitive mice. It occurred to me then that we could do almost anything in the dense fog and no one would know. I wondered what other people were doing, just inches away from us, in their own private clouds.

Just then the fog started to disperse, and I realized our cloud wasn’t so private anymore. Taz didn’t seem to care. “I’m thirsty,” I yelled as Taz ran a hand up my shirt.

Taz smiled and let go of me. “Let’s get you something to drink,” he said.

When we walked up to the VIP room bar, Madison and Todd were entwined like pretzels in the same spot, and Victoria and Jacko hadn’t moved, either. But Jacko, who’d been so smiley before, looked like he wanted to jump off the VIP room balcony now. And when I got into earshot, I found out why.

“He used to call all the time. Like, to the point where it was bugging me,” Victoria babbled, swirling around the dregs of some girly-looking drink in a martini glass. “And now, it’s once a day. Not even that. I mean, wouldn’t you be suspicious?”

“Hey, Taz,” Todd said, looking between me and my handsy dance partner. “Did you two know each other?”

When we shook our heads, Todd turned to Madison. “This is Taz. He’s a skater, too. We hang when I’m in L.A.”

“Aren’t you from L.A.?” Madison asked.

Taz shrugged. “Sometimes.”

“Hey, you’re that actress,” Taz said, pointing at Madison.

“Madison Dahl,” Madison said with a woozy grin. I saw a beer bottle in her hand.

“Nice to meet you,” Taz said as he flagged down the waiter. I ordered a Diet Coke. The last thing I needed was booze lowering my already non-existent inhibitions. “We’ll catch you later, my friend,” Taz said, giving Todd an elaborate fist bump as he dragged me over to a nearby sofa. Clearly, these guys clearly weren’t big on small talk.

“That’s so weird,” I said as we sat down. “I bump into you at random, and then our friends hook up,” I was trying to get the conversation started, but Taz wasn’t interested. Instead of talking, he kissed the back of my neck. Over his shoulder I watched as Victoria latched onto poor Jacko’s arm, leaning forward so that he wouldn’t miss a single word of her scintillating diatribe on Why Michael’s A Big Scumbag and the Agony of Loving Him. I bet Jacko was already trying to figure out if he could run on a broken leg.

Taz was a good kisser, his mouth lingering over mine, pausing to softly nibble my lower lip. “You’re hot,” he murmured into my ear. A hand traveled to my waist, then down to my skirt.

When I felt where his hand was going, my legs clamped together like a book slamming shut. Taz didn’t wince, but he didn’t move his hand, either.

“Come on, don’t be shy,” he said, his voice gently mocking.

But I did feel shy. On the dance floor we were in our own private cloud, but here there were people everywhere, waitresses walking past us with trays full of drinks, groups of girls and guys laughing and yelling just a few feet away.

When Taz realized I wasn’t going to loosen up, he sat back on the sofa and sighed. “Alright,” he said. “Maybe later.”

Just then I remembered I’d never found the women’s room, and right now that seemed like a good place to do some thinking. I got up. “Bathroom,” was all I said as I darted away.

I hoped by the time I came back Taz would have disappeared, but instead I found him talking to Madison and Todd.

“Hey, Taz and I are ready for a change of venue,” Todd said as I walked up. He leaned over to Victoria and Jacko. “We’re thinking it’s time to get the party started. Hardcore. Wanna go?”

A wicked leer flickered across Taz’s face, and I felt a little nervous. If what we’d already done wasn’t a party to him, what was? I was wondering if maybe eating the junk food out of our hotel room mini bar would be enough of a party for me when Madison piped up. “Totally, let’s go somewhere else,” she slurred, and that’s when I noticed all the beer bottles piled up on the bar behind her. Even if she was only responsible for a quarter of them, she had to be pretty plastered. I felt guilty for not keeping an eye on her, but on the other hand, at least she was downing a lot of calories. “I’m so bored,” she added, yawning.

“You want some excitement?” Todd asked her, stroking the side of her face. “Want to get wild?”

Madison nodded vigorously. Victoria raised her empty martini glass. “Damn straight!” she yelled. Was I the only girl here sober enough to realize we didn’t know these guys at all? “I’m kind of tired,” I muttered.

Madison reached over and shook me by the shoulders. “Wake up!” she screeched before breaking into giggles.

Walking (okay, Madison wobbled while Jacko limped along on a pair of crutches) out to Todd’s Jeep Commander, I tried another exit strategy. “Madison, didn’t you say your agent would kill you if you were spotted out at a club? And drunk?” It was already a little late for that warning, but at least I gave it.

Madison stopped, rocking back and forth on her heels. “She did.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Todd said. “I’ve got an idea.”

Madison grinned and hugged Todd, who seemed incredibly sober. Either he had a high tolerance for booze or Madison had knocked back even more of those beers than I’d estimated. “You always have ideas, Todd. I like that,” she said with a loopy grin.

Taz climbed behind the wheel of the Jeep while Todd and Madison piled into the backseat, the two of them only breaking lip lock long enough to put on their seatbelts. That left Jacko and I with nothing else to do but listen to Victoria’s non-stop chatter.

“I bet he’d be really jealous knowing I’m clubbing,” she blathered. Damn, the girl did not stop to take a breath! “He never wants to go dancing. Never.”

Jacko pressed his fists to his temples, as if he was trying to keep his head from blowing up. I knew exactly how he felt, too. I was already feeling a little nervous and a lot tired, and this nattering on and on was not helping. “Would you please shut the hell up, Victoria?” I barked. “I swear, if you say Michael’s name one more time, I’m going to push you out of the car.”

Victoria gaped at me, fishlike. “Of course, I couldn’t expect you to be sympathetic,” she hissed. “You don’t know what it’s like to be in love.”

I didn’t know what love was, after Dax had put my heart through the grinder? Just as I was about to inform my bitchy sister how wrong she was, Jacko piped up. “Hey, we’re all sorry about this Michael guy, but she’s right. Give it a rest, chica.”

“No kidding,” Madison yelled from the back seat. “We love you, Vic, but seriously. You’re so boring.”

Victoria crossed her arms over her chest, pursed her lips, and sat back in the seat, staring straight ahead. I didn’t even care that she was pissed. At least she was quiet.

“So, where are we going?” I asked Taz, as he steered Todd’s Jeep through the late-night traffic.

“All I ask is that you keep an open mind,” he said softly.

“Pull over!” Todd yelled from the back seat. We were right in the middle of the strip and there was nowhere to park, but Taz dutifully stopped the Jeep in the right-hand lane. Todd climbed out and ran into a skanky little souvenir shop as a chorus of honking horns sounded behind us. Taz turned on his hazards and stuck his arm out the window, waving everyone past.

“We’re blocking traffic,” Victoria said in her bossiest mom voice. “People drive drunk this time of night, you know.” But Taz just shrugged.

“Yeah, I know,” he said. “Keeps you on your toes, doesn’t it?”

Todd climbed back into the car so fast we barely had time to worry about getting rear-ended. He opened up a brown paper sack, revealing a tacky mask with a bridal veil attached at the top. He handed it to Madison. “Welcome to your bachelorette party.”

Madison stared at Todd, shocked. “We’re getting married?” she asked, her voice shaking.

Todd laughed. “Okay, no more beer for you. The mask is so no one knows it’s you.”

Madison slipped it on, and I have to admit, Todd’s idea was pretty brilliant. There are tons of brides-to-be wandering around Vegas wearing tiaras and goofy toilet paper veils every day, so Madison would fit right in.

Looking up, I saw the Stratosphere Hotel’s observation tower rising up before us. Taz slowed down and flicked on his turn signal. I racked my brain for a reason to bring us here. Gambling? A private party? A topless show?

After we dropped the car with the valet, Todd made a beeline to the observation tower. “Still feeling wild, baby?” Todd asked Madison after he’d bought our tickets.

“Sure,” she said, bleary-eyed. “Is there a club up there?”

Todd, Taz and Jacko just laughed, and now Victoria was getting antsy. “I don’t want to do anything stupid,” she said as we crammed ourselves into the elevator.

“Doing stupid things is my whole career,” Todd replied. “Loosen up, Vic. Have some fun.”

“And then you can tell Michael all about it,” Jacko pointed out, only half teasing.

Just then, the elevator started zooming toward the top so fast I actually screamed. Taz pulled me close, kissing me into silence.

At the top of the tower, we finally faced the big surprise, the mysterious thing that would get the party started.

It was an amusement park ride. Three of them, actually. Insanity, Big Shot, and X Scream.

“You’re joking, right?” Madison said through her bridal mask, a hand on her hip. “This is your idea of getting wild? This is what 8-year-olds do to get wild.”

Todd never stopped grinning. “Then you should have no problem going with us, right?”

Madison shrugged. Even with the mask on, she was clearly bummed out, but she let Todd drag her into the line for Insanity, the rest of us queuing up behind them.

“I like roller coasters,” Victoria said to Jacko, who seemed genuinely shocked that my sister was capable of discussing any topic other than her scumbag boyfriend.

“Really? Got a favorite?” he asked.

“Space Mountain, when Michael and I went to Disneyland. That was the best date I think we ever had,” she said, her lower lip quivering.

At the front of the line, I finally realized exactly what Insanity was. It wasn’t actually a roller coaster, but one of those rides where you sit in a hanging chair while you get spun around faster and faster. Which wouldn’t be scary at all, except that on this ride you’re dangling 100 stories above Las Vegas.

“This is stupid,” Madison said, her voice high and squeaky. I didn’t even need to see her face to know she was terrified.

“Scared of heights?” Todd asked.

“Maybe,” Madison admitted.

“Good,” Todd said. “This will cure you.” He ripped off her mask and stuffed it in his pocket. “You’ll want to see where you’re going,” he explained.

As we climbed into our seats, I had to admit even I was a little freaked. Yes, it was just a ride, but we were really high up, like no one would be able to identify your body if you fell kind of high up. Not that we would fall, but still. I tried to concentrate on how beautiful the view was. Las Vegas sparkled and shimmered below us like a gigantic Christmas tree.

The ride started spinning, and to my right I could hear Madison loud and clear. “OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!” she screamed. After that, she didn’t even form words anymore, just howling like a dying water buffalo.

After a while, Madison’s screams blended with those of everyone else on the ride, including mine. I knew I was yelling so loud I’d be lucky if I had a voice the next day, but I didn’t care. Right at that moment, there was no tomorrow, no yesterday. There was just that moment, crystalline and perfect, sharpened with adrenaline and the hot Vegas wind whipping through my hair. I was scared to death, gasping for air, desperately wanting to get off, and never wanting the ride to end.

As we began slowing down, I started laughing for no reason at all. Maybe I was happy to be alive. Or maybe I was just happy. It didn’t really matter.

As I clambered out of my seat, I saw Madison in front of me. She’d already put on her bridal mask, but through it I could see her eyes shining. “Oh my God, I thought I was going to die!” she shrieked. “Let’s do it again!”

“Absolutely!” It was Victoria, right behind me.

So, we did. And then we went on the two other rides, too (poor Jacko couldn’t go on Big Shot because his leg wouldn’t bend to fit the seat), but Madison couldn’t get enough of Insanity. “Let’s come back tomorrow,” she said to Todd as he smoothly guided her toward the elevator at 2 a.m.

I felt a palm on the small of my back. “Still scared?” Taz whispered in my ear.

“Of course not,” I shot back. “That rocked.”

“If you thought that was fun, I could show you another ride you might like,” he said, his breath hot on my neck.

I wanted to tell him that some rides are more dangerous than others, but the elevator was moving, falling so fast toward the ground I couldn’t catch my breath.

***

Back at the hotel, Madison and Todd practically pushed the rest of us out of the elevator, Madison’s bridal mask sliding down her face. “A little privacy, guys?” Todd said, grinning as he pulled Madison toward him.

“Um, I’ll see you guys later!” Madison yelled over her shoulder as the doors closed. “Or tomorrow!” After the doors shut, I could hear the loud beep, beep, beep of the stop button being pushed.

Victoria leaned toward me. “Please tell me she’s not doing what I think she’s doing in there,” she pleaded. “What if Dad finds out?”

“You’re worrying about Dad now?” We were crawling back to the hotel at almost three in the morning, some of us drunker than others, with a bunch of random skaters we’d just met. “I think that ship sailed a few hours ago, Victoria.”

I pushed the button for another elevator, but Taz grabbed my hand. “Evening isn’t over yet, is it?” he asked.

I looked at him, his green Mohawk tilting to one side from so many spins on Insanity, the delicate gold hoop above his eyebrow looking a little tarnished in the dim hotel light. I didn’t doubt that Taz was a non-stop wild ride, maybe even a really fun one. But I wasn’t sure my heart was ready for that kind of excitement, not yet.

“It’s late. Maybe some other time,” I said, giving Taz a quick kiss.

He grabbed the back of my head before I could pull away, kissing me back so hard I felt my knees buckle. “If you change your mind, I’m staying under the name Steve McQueen at the Hard Rock,” he said with a wink before disappearing into the casino.

“I guess Madison isn’t the only frisky kitty tonight,” Victoria said as she held open the elevator door.

“Hey, I’m not that frisky,” I countered. “Where’s Jacko?”

“He said he was going to bed. Nice guy, though. Really good listener.”

“I bet.”

Victoria glared at me, eyes narrowing into slits. “What are you trying to say?”

It was too late for a fight, so I changed the subject instead. “Are you going to call Michael?” I asked. I couldn’t have cared less about the answer, but I figured the ceaseless drone of Victoria’s yapping would knock me out the second my head hit the pillow.

***

I woke up the next morning sprawled sideways in the king size bed, wondering what the horrible buzzing noise inside my head was before I realized it was the phone.

“We have breakfast downstairs at Noodles in an hour,” my Dad said on the other end. “Okay?”

I wasn’t quite sure where I was, but I agreed. “Sure,” I rasped, hanging up the phone.

Victoria staggered into the bedroom, her face puffy and creased. “Dad?” she asked.

“Yeah,” I said, slipping into a super soft hotel robe. “Where’s Madison?” I looked at the clock. 10:00 flashed at me in red. “She’s supposed to be at the show by noon.”

Victoria shrugged and staggered toward the bathroom. I thought about calling Todd’s room but stopped. Madison was a big girl, right? She didn’t need me checking up on her all the time.

Just then the front door blew open and there stood Madison. She was wearing a helmet and kneepads and cradled under one arm was a pair of in-line skates. “Oh my God, you guys!” she squealed. “Look at me!”

“You’ve been skating?” I actually had to wonder if I was dreaming. As long as I’ve known her, Madison considered shopping and gossiping about all the exercise she ever needed.

“Todd and I never went to bed,” Madison said, tossing herself down on the sofa. “I mean, he’s amazing. You should see him with his clothes off. Rock hard abs.”

“Skating?” As much as I wanted to hear about Madison’s mattress mambo, I knew Victoria would be out of the bathroom any minute. She’d been surprisingly cool on this trip, but I didn’t see any reason to get her Mom meter working.

“Oh yeah, at four this morning Todd decided he wanted to practice some moves, and he said he’d give me a lesson. He even found me a helmet and kneepads. Isn’t that cute?”

“Where did you go at four in the morning?”

“We drove out to the ‘burbs and found an empty parking lot. It was sort of romantic, skating alone under the stars, so quiet and peaceful.” Madison sank into a pile of silk pillows. “So of course, we didn’t just skate. There was… other physical activity. Kneepads really came in handy.”

Okay, that woke me up. “We’re supposed to meet my dad for breakfast in less than an hour,” I said, grabbing my suitcase and searching for something decent to wear. “And after that, you have to go to the show.”

Madison groaned mightily and curled into a ball on the sofa. “Let’s blow it off. I’m sooooo tired.”

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t have stayed up all night,” I replied. Oh my God, was I turning into my Mom? Or worse, Victoria?

“I don’t even care,” Madison sighed. “Todd is the best thing that’s happened to me in months. Maybe ever.”

I kind of rolled my eyes at that, but once we got down to the restaurant, I started to wonder if Madison was right about Todd and his sexual healing. The minute we sat down, Madison picked up her menu and chirped, “I’m starved! When do they come around with the dim sum? And if I get the spicy shrimp noodle soup, does anyone else want to share?”

Victoria, my dad and I just stared at Madison in shock. “You hungry?” my dad asked, as if Madison had announced her plans to adopt an Ethiopian orphan.

“Totally,” Madison said with a grin.

My dad looked at Victoria, then me. “Eehay moht algay sumnida,” he said in Korean.

We didn’t understand either, so we just shrugged. Still, we weren’t about to argue. Madison was the happiest I’d seen her in ages. She even looked good, all sparkling eyes and pink cheeks. When the food came, she polished it off and practically licked the plates. “Todd was telling me about how his body is a clean machine,” Madison said as she slurped down a plate of soba noodles and chicken. “He thinks about food in this completely different way, all about how it improves or hurts his performance. Like, he hardly ever drinks coffee or alcohol.”

That explained who drank all the beer last night. Still, that only made Madison’s perkiness all the more bizarre. I hadn’t even gotten around to ordering a drink and I still felt like hell, and Victoria didn’t exactly look chipper, either. But my father wasn’t paying attention to us. “Todd, the boy from yesterday?”

Madison nodded. “We went inline skating this morning, before breakfast,” she said, wisely neglecting the little details about her parking lot party.

“That sounds very healthy,” my dad said, grinning at Madison like she was a toddler who had taken her first step. “Athletes, they smart. Very wholesome.”

I’ve got to hand it to Madison, she didn’t even crack a smile.

***

After breakfast, Victoria and I crawled back to the hotel room, Madison bounding ahead of us like a hyperactive baboon. “Are you on something?” I asked her.

Madison shook her head. “I don’t need anything. Except Todd.”

“You just met the guy, Madison. Take it easy,” I said, fumbling for the electronic door key in my purse. God, I’d never wanted to take a nap so bad in my life.

“I thought Michael was the greatest guy on earth, and look what happened,” Victoria chimed in.

Oh, God, not Michael again! “The point is, Madison, this guy could be a raging psychopath for all you know. And personally, I think someone who wants to mess around with you in the middle of a parking lot is kind of a freak.” I looked up and almost ran straight into Todd and Taz.

“Oh, hi,” I said, wishing the floor would open up and swallow me whole.

“Parking lot?” Victoria asked, her eyebrows lifted so high they nearly disappeared into her hairline.

Madison lunged at Todd, smothering him with kisses and sparing me an awkward moment with Todd. But not, unfortunately, an awkward moment with Taz.

“So, you going to the show?” he asked, slumping against the corridor wall. His Mohawk was combed back flat today, and I realized exactly how cute he really was.

“Yeah. But I’m taking a nap first. I’m trashed,” I said, nodding toward my room. I could practically hear my pillow calling to me.

“You don’t have to sleep alone, you know,” he said with a grin.

I hesitated. Seeing Madison standing their macking on Todd like a crazed she-beast, I had to wonder. Was I being a prude? Waiting for the right guy, the right moment, when maybe that perfect time never really comes? I thought I’d had that with Dax and was I ever wrong. Taz was cute, he was into me. I spent so much time worrying about everything when maybe what I really needed was a little danger. A wild ride.

“She does need to sleep alone,” Victoria snapped. “We both need some rest before the show. And you, clearly, aren’t interested in a nap.”

With that, Victoria grabbed my arm, took the key, and dragged me inside our room. I wasn’t sure whether to thank her or slug her.

“He’s not right for you,” Victoria said as she curled up on the sofa. “Not for what you’re thinking.”

Yeah, Victoria really had inherited my mom’s psychic powers. I had to ask her how she did it, but some other time. I barely made it to the bed before I fell fast asleep.

***

The award show was a typical red-carpet affair. Celebrities, photographers, screaming fans, reporters asking the same silly questions over and over. What wasn’t typical was that my dad and my sister were there, soaking it all in like newborn baby ducks.

“Where do we walk?” my dad said, looking around nervously as our limo pulled up.

“We walk on the red carpet, Dad,” I said, trying to shake Madison awake so we could get out of the car. The girl had finally run out of adrenaline, and my fingers were crossed that someone at the MGM Grand had a triple espresso on them. Or a taser gun.

“Are you sure I look okay?” Victoria asked, pulling desperately at the dress I’d loaned her. It was too tight, but it was black, and hopefully no one would be looking at her too closely anyway. “Oh my God, is that the Red Hot Chili Peppers? I didn’t know Anthony Kiedis cut his hair!”

Amazingly, Madison found some hidden reserve of energy once she hit the carpet, smiling and posing for the photographers like a pro. In addition to Kanye West, some chick from “Arrow” and Snoop Dogg, I spotted Patty, Madison’s publicist, dressed up like a bright green parade float.

“Madison’s running on fumes,” I whispered in her ear after I’d said a quick hello. “Like, I have no idea what might come out of her mouth right now she’s so tired.”

Patty gave me the look my mom used when I’d done something really boneheaded. “She missed rehearsal. What were you girls up to today? The producers are not thrilled.”

Madison hadn’t been at the room, so she must have been with Todd. “I don’t know,” I lied. “I was sleeping.”

Patty sighed, then looked over my shoulder. “Did you bring your father? We have to get a picture of him with Madison. The Star wants to do a piece about the two of them.”

“Are you serious?” I looked at my dad standing off to the side of the red carpet, nervously running his fingers through his hair and trying not to get stepped on by the bassist from the Foo Fighters. I couldn’t imagine him posing in front of all those screaming photographers for a picture. But before I knew it, Patty had darted in front of me and dragged Dad in front of the cameras with Madison. For a wide-bodied woman, Patty moved damn fast.

Victoria was on me like a rash. “Why are they taking pictures of Dad with Madison?” she squeaked. “I don’t have to do that, do I?”

But Patty was waving at us to come over. “Looks that way.”

“Not in this dress!” Victoria cried, but she followed me anyway. I guess the lure of being in a magazine is too great, even if it’s a rotten picture.

As the paparazzi screamed, I looked over at my dad. He was grinning like an idiot, soaking up his fifteen minutes of fame like a pro. It made me smile, thinking I’d been able to do at least one thing to make him happy since Mom died.

After the photo op, Patty dragged Madison past the reporters without stopping, clearly figuring no publicity was better than an interview with Madison babbling like an idiot. I had to drag Victoria and my dad along, holding their hands like they were little kids. They were looking everywhere but where they were going, completely overwhelmed by the red-carpet chaos.

“Why they want our picture?” my dad asked. “Was that to be nice?”

I snorted. “No, they want to write an article about you being Madison’s surrogate dad.”

Dad didn’t know what to say to that, but that was fine, since I was busy trying to find our seats in the auditorium. Of course, thanks to Madison, we were right up at the front of the stage, dead center. No sneaking out at the break for us.

I know the show was probably pretty confusing to my dad, since all the video game stuff was lost on me, too. But I think he was impressed that Madison was a part of all this hoopla, even if he had no clue what it was all about.

When Madison walked on stage to present her award, I rolled my eyes when I saw Todd next to her. Jeez, was she so obsessed with the guy she couldn’t even walk out on stage without him? But then I looked past her pasted-on smile and saw how grey her face was. She was clinging to Todd with a death grip. He wasn’t there to play boyfriend. He was there to prop her up.

Madison, barely able to keep her eyes open, delivered her lines like a champ and let Todd hand the award off to some tech goober named Designer of the Year. But as she walked off stage, her balance suddenly gave way, and she almost took a header over her high heels. I winced, but Todd stopped her fall so quickly I doubt anyone even noticed.

Watching Todd guide Madison backstage, it occurred to me that maybe there was someone else who could take care of Madison now. This guy already seemed alright, possibly more than alright. Even if he was a psychopath.

***

Backstage, Madison handed off her party passes to me and Victoria. “I’ll get your dad back to the hotel,” she whispered, barely able to keep her eyes open. “Todd’s taking us.”

“He better let you sleep,” Victoria said primly. But seeing how her eyes lit up over the party passes, I don’t think she was too worried about Madison.

At the party, Victoria was like a kid in a candy store. “Is that Taylor Swift?” she squealed. “I think that’s Diplo!”

“Stop pointing!” I snapped. God, she made us look like a bunch of tourists the way she was acting. “At least try to pretend like you belong here.” Without Madison, I felt out of place, and I was dying for caffeine. Hopefully, I’d just be able to hang out for a half hour, then convince Victoria to head out.

I grabbed a Diet Coke at the bar, then scanned the room for familiar faces. And there, on a long white sofa, was one. Taz. With a skanky blonde in his lap.

Okay, I know we weren’t an item. Hell, I hadn’t even picked up his last name. But I had to admit, some little part of me was hoping he’d at least look for me at the party. Isn’t there some kind of waiting period after hooking up?

I tried to look away as fast as I could, but Taz saw me first. He waved at me as if I was his long-lost buddy.

He whispered in the blonde girl’s ear, and she waved at me too, sliding off Taz’s lap like a Slinky made of silver mesh and fake fur. Maybe he told Skank Girl I was the prude who wouldn’t do him at XS, and she felt sorry for me.

Then, to my absolute horror, Taz actually got up and started walking over. I felt my face turning red, tears of humiliation welling in my eyes. I searched the crowd desperately for Victoria so I could get the hell away from Taz.

But just like that, he was in front of me, going in for a kiss. I froze. A kiss? What was this guy thinking? I looked at the blonde out of the corner of my eye, but she just smiled.

“Hey, you,” Taz said with a grin.

I knew it. He didn’t even remember my name. “Hey,” was all I could squeak out.

“That’s Liza,” he said, pointing to the blonde. “Hot, huh?”

He came over to gloat? “What do you want, Taz?” I grumbled.

“We’re getting out of here in a bit. Want to party with us?” Taz leaned over and whispered in my ear.

I looked at Liza, who winked at me. Oh. My. God.

“My sister. Waiting for me,” I gulped. I turned to run, not even knowing where the exit was. “Um, nothing against Liza or anything.”

I spotted Victoria a few feet away and pushed my way through the crowd without looking back or caring whose drink I spilled. My sister was standing with a plate overflowing with shrimp the size of her fist, stuffing her face like it was the only food she’d seen in days.

“We have to go. Now,” I snapped.

“Why? I was just going to ask Doja Cat for an autograph,” Victoria whined.

“Then stay. I don’t care,” I said, shoving past her toward the door.

“Erin, don’t be a brat!” Victoria yelled, but she didn’t follow me.

Which was fine by me. I flagged down a cab, got back to the hotel, and ended up sitting in the lobby for ten minutes, staring at the ceiling of glass flowers like an idiot.

All sorts of thoughts swirled through my sleep-deprived brain. I wondered if I was a slut, or if my problem was not being slutty enough. I wondered why I could never find a decent guy. I wondered if I’d be clutching onto my virginity like the Holy Grail until I was 80 waiting for a knight who never came. I hated that all I ever seemed to do was, well, wonder. I mean, I thought an awful lot about sex for someone who wasn’t getting any.

Madison, on the other hand, was able to just have fun, although it didn’t really look like fun to me. Screwing in an elevator didn’t strike me as romantic. For starters, the music sucked. And the truth was, I wanted romance. I wanted real, overwhelming, heart-in-your-throat, can’t-live-without-him love. Not just hormonal overload and a quickie in an empty parking lot.

I stared up at the glass flowers, letting my eyes lose focus so they became pretty swirls of pure color. I thought about how beautiful they were, and how they were completely wasted on the sloppy-looking tourists checking in at the desk. Those idiots were here to overeat, blow their money, maybe get a lap dance from a stripper. They were here to indulge, not think, not feel. Las Vegas wasn’t all that different from L.A. when I thought about it. No wonder I didn’t fit in either place.

I picked up the courtesy phone and called my dad’s room. “Want to get some ice cream?” I asked. For some reason, doing something that I used to do when I was a kid sounded really good to me.

“Sure, little girl,” my dad said. “That sounds nice.” Nice. I used to hate the word. So boring, so bland. But right at that minute, it sounded just fine.