"Are you really? I'm just a thing to you."
Swallowing, I thought about my response instead of simply retorting. "What I said before was all true. You are very important to me, Willow. I didn't plan on caring about you. I certainly didn't want to carry the same burden of guilt that you seem to have. I'm a cold and merciless man, one capable of doing horrible things, but when I'm around you, nothing else matters."
She wrinkled her nose, closing her eyes briefly. "I want so much to believe you. Every little girl wants to find a hero in her life, but I'm through with being a fool. When tomorrow is finished, I hope you will honor your deal and simply let me go. I'm not strong enough to handle anything else."
"Lovely lady, you're much stronger than you realize." Using just my index finger, I tipped her head, forcing her to look into my eyes. There was so much sorrow built between us, two lives that had never been allowed to be free. I lowered my head, wanting desperately to have her in my arms.
When she pushed her hand against my chest, her body stiffening, a cold chill wafted down my spine. We were irrevocably broken.
"Will you honor the deal?" she asked.
I wanted to refuse, every instinct and desire brimming the surface. Instead, I took a step away, breaking the last connection I knew we'd have. "Yes, I will."
She nodded several times, took another glance toward the sky then smiled. "Thank you."
I watched as she walked back into the suite, moving quickly toward the bedroom and closing the door. The dull ache in my heart was deserved. I remained on the balcony, leaning over the railing and studying the night sky. I'd always been a dreamer, a young boy longing to become an astronaut. I'd spent countless hours with one of the few presents that I prized, a telescope. I knew every constellation, every story behind the various beautiful stars. I'd even mentioned to my father my aspirations only to be laughed at.
The next day, the telescope had been removed from my room. I'd found it in the trash two days later, smashed beyond recognition.
Sighing, I shifted the glass from hand to hand, wondering what my life would be like had I been able to follow my dreams instead of being forced to honor nightmares. Still today, a small amount of hope remained in my system, but not for anything having to do with my life.
I'd accepted my fate long ago, making peace with the outcome. What I refused to tolerate was having the few people I cared about dragged into hell.
Including Willow.
The thought was perhaps far too revealing, yet another weakness. So be it.
I headed into the suite, locking the door behind me. While I honestly didn't believe Peter would take a chance at a high-profile kill, I wasn't going to allow for the opportunity. I glared at the couch before easing down. I'd slept on cement floors on several occasions, but tonight, even the plushness of the cushions seemed cold. Using the remote, I turned off the remaining lights, enjoying the glow of the city lights as well as the bright moon.
Dreams. I almost laughed at the thought. They were more like fantasies that could never come true. I had sold my soul to the devil and still, he wanted more. I had no more to give.
After finishing off my drink and sliding the glass on the table, I jerked off my coat and tie, unbuttoning and rolling up my sleeves. The Glock was placed on the corner of the table, within easy reach. I never slept soundly. No one would be able to get into the suite without my knowledge.
My body was stiff, tension shifting through every cell and muscle as I attempted to lie down. There was far too much adrenaline for me to even consider falling asleep; however, I'd learned the importance of rest. After a few seconds, I forced myself to close my eyes, exhaustion taking over.
"Did you forget our dinner date?" she asked, giving me a pointed look.
I walked into my office, my cock immediately twitching. She sat on the edge of my desk, her delicate arms swept out to the sides, the flowered dress whimsical in design. So perfect for the woman I adored. "How could I ever forget anything that has to do with you, my love?" I inched closer, finally revealing what I had behind my back.
"Mmmm... You know what they say about a man plying a girl with her favorite flowers?" she purred, her eyes lighting up.
"No, what do they say?" I teased.
"That the man is guilty for something."
"Hmmm..." I twirled the sterling silver roses back and forth, giving them a harsh look. "Would you like me to take them back? I certainly will." I took backwards steps, trying not to smile.
She rushed forward, yanking them out of my hand, her laughter filling the expansive space. "Don't you dare!"
My eyes snapped open, but not from the beautiful memory. My hand was immediately around the gun as I jerked to a standing position. Whoever had broken in certainly had balls.
"I suggest you stop right where you are." I was prepared to take the shot.
"Or you're going to shoot me?" Willow asked in a small voice, a hint of fear in the tone.
I managed to turn on a light, my heart beating rapidly. The vision in front of me couldn't be real. Willow. She stood in an exquisite silk gown, the emerald color accentuating every dazzling feature on her beautiful face, the material hugging every curve in a soft and vulnerable manner. She was barefooted, her long hair spilling out over her shoulders.
"I could have killed you," I barked, immediately placing the gun on the table.
"But you didn't." She crept closer. There were so many questions in her eyes as well as something I never thought I'd see, the kind of desire that was interwoven with deep feelings.
Her presence was startling, my body's reaction instantaneous. I wanted her. Desperately. But I turned away, realizing she'd made her decision before. "Is there something wrong? Do you need something?"
I heard the slight rustle as she walked closer.
"Yes and yes," she whispered.
Swallowing, I lifted my head, eyeing her outstretched arm. "What?"
"You."
Only once in my life had I allowed my guard to fall completely, to toss away the killer, the dangerous man. I knew our odds at even remaining alive. This wasn't a sound decision by any means.
But there was no turning back.
I grasped her hand, yanking her against my chest, tangling my fingers in her hair. "Do you have any idea what you do to me? Do you know how much I hunger for you?"
"Just as much as I long for your touch, your powerful kisses. You touch me like no other man has before. I can't stop thinking about you, dreaming about being in your arms. I need you, Aleksei. I understand all the ramifications. I realize that this is a terrible idea, but I don't give a damn. I. Need. You."