Chapter 47 Who are you?
I take the ring off my finger, and look at it for a long time.
My eyes feel puffy the morning after crying so much. It was literally like the dam broke open and all my emotions flowed out like a river.
My aunt's words are still fresh in my mind.
"You don't have to marry someone if you don't want to."
I don't have to marry Ben. I should never have taken him back, and I should have never said yes.
But he did everything right. The proposal at Madison Square Garden where my dad proposed to my mom, my cousin and his wife serenading us. The fucking photographers. How could I say no in the moment?
I didn't only cry because I'm engaged and it's out in the public. I cried for the boy and girl we once were.
It would've made for a great love story.
But I can't force things that I don't feel. I can't be unhappy for the rest of my life or get divorced along the line. I come from a family that marry for love, not responsibility.
I carefully place the ring inside an empty jewelry box and place it in my night dresser. To be honest, I didn't even like the ring. It was too gregarious. It wasn't me. How Ben wouldn't know what I'd like after all these years is beyond me.
"Where's your ring?" Simon asks while we're busy in rehearsals. "Girl, if that ring was mine I would show it off all the time!"
I still don't know why I can't trust him with the truth. "It was getting in the way, I left it at home."
"Good thing, imagine you got mugged."
I just smile, but my thoughts immediately go to the night when I first encountered Black. When I didn't know it was Miguel all along.
He killed someone for me. And there still hasn't been any consequences, and I will take it to the grave.
What is he doing right now? I wonder what he's thinking. Or did he find some other damsel in distress to rescue and then fuck ruthlessly?
The idea stirs up a jealousy I've never felt before. I have no right to be jealous, but the idea of Miguel being with another woman makes me feel a rage I'm not familiar with.
I call Ben as soon as I'm done with rehearsals. It keeps on ringing, and I'm about to end the call when he picks up.
"Hey baby, can I call you back? I'm in the middle of something right now." He sounds out of breath, like he was running. What the hell would make him out of breath in an office job?
"Okay." I frown. "I'll text you."
"Love you, bye!"
I look at my phone after he abruptly ends the call without even waiting for me to respond. I know the guy is busy, we all are trying to build our careers, but what the hell was that?
I text him to call me back as soon as possible, and that I need to see him to talk about something important.
"Dinner?" Simon asks me just before I leave. "You owe me, remember?"
"Sure."
"We're getting Chinese in a cute little restaurant that is cheap, but delicious." He kisses the top of my forehead. "Girl, we deserve it after this day."
He's right. The only thing I had for lunch was a grilled chicken salad, and we danced the whole day, I could use something more solid.
We decide to walk to the restaurant, and I laugh at Simon who ogles the hot men walking past us.
I sometimes feel like I missed this part. Being young and carefree.
The restaurant is small, and I raise my eyebrows at Simon at the condition.
"Girl, trust me!" He holds his hands up. " I know it looks a little dodgy, but it's the best Chinese you'll ever have!"
And he's right, too. I probably eat the best soup dumplings ever, and I make a mental note to bring my mother here, she will love it. Hopefully, it would be enough for her to forgive me for my poor attitude the other day.
She was only being a mother who thought her daughter was excited to get married. That makes me feel even worse.
Simon has really been a great pick-me-up and he doesn't even know it.
We're still laughing and joking on our way back to my car, when someone calls my name from behind us.
I wanted to just continue walking, because it's probably someone who recognises me from some stupid tabloid.
"Madison Smith!" The woman's voice only gets more persistent, so I stop and swing around with a frown, ready to tell her that I can't take a picture right now, but her face looks vaguely familiar.
"Yes?" Where do I know her from?
The woman is wearing an expensive trenchcoat, but her frame looks too skinny, and her skin ghostly, as if she's suffering from some kind of disease. "Do I know you?"
She stops in front of me, and I can see that she was once maybe very beautiful, but that life hasn't been treating her all that kind.
"We used to go to the same school." She smiles, but it doesn't reach her blue eyes. "I used to date Miguel Cargill, my name is Katherine."
"Oh." That jealousy and rage I was feeling earlier returns tenfold, but I don't remember Miguel dating anyone seriously in high school.
There were a lot of rumors going around that he used to sleep around a lot, but that it changed in his senior year. Some said he was focusing on getting into a D1 school for swimming, but then he never even went.
"I saw you got engaged to Benedict." The smile on her face disappears, and fear replaces that empty expression in her eyes.
Simon clears his throat. "Can we help you with anything? Are you okay?"
Her eyes don't leave mine, but I can see the shiver running through her.
"Just be careful with Benedict, okay?" She says in a chilling voice before she abruptly turns around and disappear in the crowded sidewalk.
"What the fuck was that about?" Simon asks incredulously.
"I don't know." I say but an uneasiness settles in the pit of my stomach.
We were freshmen when Miguel was a senior, and I can't exactly remember her face, but if she was dating Miguel, she probably would've been his age or maybe a year younger.
So what does she have to do with Benedict?
And why is she telling me to be careful?