Chapter 44 Turning my back-Miguel POV
I start putting my sniper rifle back together after I cleaned it.
I love this part. When I disassemble and then reassemble my weapons. Every little part has a job, and every time my fingers take it out and put it back together, my mind calms down. The same happens when I swim. There's nothing else around me but my head under water and my body gliding through it.
It was my only peace until I picked up a gun.
I've found another peace since then. One I can't think about when I'm in the company of others, because my boner might become the subject of endless jokes.
A shadow falls over me. Unless it's an emergency, everyone knows not to bother me when I'm busy with weapons.
"Speak." I order, not bothering to look up because I know who it is from her scent alone.
Lucille clears her throat. "I thought there was something that you might wanted to know."
"What?"
It's like I can feel the nerves radiating off her. I don't know why after all this time she's scared of me. Well, I know why she's scared of me, but it's not like I would ever hurt her.
"Maybe you should look yourself."
She shoves her phone under my nose, and the world underneath my feet falls away and it feels like I'm fucking drowning. I'm back to the boy who was taken from his mother and put into a home with strange people who hated him. People who fucking took everything away from him.
And now they took her too.
My eyes burn as I look at the picture of my brother and the woman who has had me in a chokehold since I was a teenager.
He looks happy, laughing at someone off camera, and it looks like she is crying happy tears looking at the preposterous diamond on her finger, but I know she's not. She's smiling through her tears, but her eyes are telling a different story.
I would know, I have studied her for years.
I know every expression. I know when she's happy, overjoyed and elated. I know when she's sad, frustrated or a tad bit depressed.
I know what she looks like when she cums so hard that her thighs shake.
I'm one hundred percent sure Ben doesn't know her like I do.
Why the fuck would she say yes?
I quickly scan the article.
She got engaged to my brother on the same day that I left. Getting engaged to him is bad enough, but on that day makes it feel even worse.
I knew she said me and her were over, but she doesn't know me yet. If she knew, she'd know that I have loved her forever, and that it will never be over for us.
I deserve her.
I deserve her after every fucking thing I had to endure. She's mine, my ultimate treasure. My golden pot at the end of the rainbow. And I'd rather die before I see her getting married to that narcissist.
"Good for them." I turn my body away from the damaging image on the screen.
"Didn't you like her or something?" Lucille asks. "Remember you asked me to escort you to dinner that one time?"
I knew then it was a mistake to involve someone else. Of course I knew Madison was close by and then the mother making a reservation. I had to see Madison, even when I knew it might open up the possibility of her finding out who I was.
"Whether I like her or not, its non of my business if she decides to get married." I put the last piece on my AK-47 back and get up from my chair. "Is there anything else I need to know?" .
Lucille flinches back as if I've hurt her when I tower over her.
"And I told you to stop being scared of me."
That's easy for me to say, but one night after we arrived on U.S. soil from a mission that almost killed is, our whole team went to a bar to celebrate being fucking alive.
Lucille drank way more than she should, and I was the one who took the responsibility of making sure she got home safely.
In the car, she told me about her upbringing, about how her stepfather groomed her before he started raping her at the age of eleven. After some time, she told her mother who didn't believe her.
The week after she told me, her stepfather was found dead in his car. Carbon monoxide poisoning. He left a hand written suicide note confessing everything of the abuse and that he just couldn't keep on living with himself.
Lucille wanted to know if it was me who did that.
I told her I don't know what she's talking about.
Whas it me?
Of course it was.
And because Lucille knows how I operate , she knows it was me. She's been scared and in a little bit of awe ever since.
Am I going to kill Ben?
Yes.
Because I won't ever let him have her even if I can't have her myself.
I will never allow him to break her like his mother tried to break me.
Or the way they succeeded in breaking my mother.