Chapter 39 Surprise
"Where are we going?" I want to know as I hold my car keys out to Caroline's driver.
Ben is looking fancy in a three-piece suit like he's going to attend a ball.
"Somewhere special." He winks and waits for me to get inside the limo before getting in after me.
Bile rises up in my throat when he leans over and kisses me on the lips. It burns where his lips touch, the memory of his brother's flying through my mind.
In one day I've been kissed by both Cargill brothers.
I shut my mouth and look out the window.
Ben takes my hand in his and rubs my palm like he's been doing since we were kids. Only this time, it feels foreign, like I shouldn't let him touch me.
This is not over.
Miguel's card shouts at me from my bag. I know I'm not doing anything wrong with Ben.
Ben is the one being wronged in this scenario, but everything inside me screams that I'm cheating for getting into the limo.
"What did Gregory say?" Ben asks gently.
I turn to him with a forced smile. "I'm back in. Well, it wasn't like I was fired or anything in the first place, but I'm in the show that's going to South Korea over Christmas."
The rubbing on my hand stops, and there's an expression in Ben's eyes I haven't seen before.
Is it anger?
He masks it with a smile and kisses my cheek softly. "I'm so happy for you, baby. I knew you could do it."
What the hell was that? Ben has never looked at me like that before.
Or has he?
And this is just the first time I'm seeing it?
"Thanks." My smile is fake, but he must be buying it, because he kisses me again. "So, are you going to tell me where we going now?"
I must be delusional, because a playful spark glistens in Ben's eyes. His eyes actually don't look like Miguel's. It's just an ordinary blue whereas Miguel's are the shade of the ocean on a tropical island.
Now I'm comparing their eyes. There has never been something wrong with Ben's eyes before.
I shouldn't be in this car.
Ben extracts a piece of white silk from his pocket. "It's a surprise. Now, I'm going to blindfold you so the surprise doesn't get ruined."
He proceeds to tie the silk around my closed eyes and all the fuck I could think about is the first night I had sex with Miguel, when he blindfolded me so I wouldn't find out who he is.
"I'm putting a glass in your hand." Ben lifts my hand and my fingers grip the glass stem, and I eagerly bring it to my mouth.
Champagne. I gulp it down in one go.
"Whoa!" Ben laughs, but he holds my hand steady to fill the glass. "You haven't even had dinner yet, take it easy."
My insides are in turmoil. Just this morning I was in ecstacy, then bliss when Gregory gave me my position back.
Now I'm in guilt, agonising over the fact that I'm a cheat and a fraud. And that there is an amazing man in this car who I should love, and be loyal to, and thank my lucky stars that he hasn't figured out something is seriously wrong with me.
He's still coming up with surprises. I should feel lucky and blessed.
"We're celebrating, right?" I take a tiny sip of the champagne this time.
Ben chuckles and kisses me in my neck. "Indeed we are. I missed you so much, please don't ever shut me out like that again."
A pang of hurt goes through my heart at his words. I never meant to do that. Like Amelia said, Ben is my endgame. Everyone knows it.
Maybe I was trying to fight my destiny, that's why I allowed Miguel to infiltrate my life.
I was looking for excitement when Ben was all I ever really needed.
I'm all out of excitement now.
Miguel gave me something I've never experienced before. But at the end of the day, it was just sex. I can surely spice things up with my boyfriend who gives me so much more than that.
The only problem is, how do I get Miguel to never talk about it? Ever. And how do I get it through to him that what we had is over when he sends me flowers with notes that states it's not?
I have his number. The one I still have saved under Black. I will text him and tell him we can't ever do that again.
"I won't shut you out again." I whisper to Ben, hoping that I never break that promise.
Hoping that Miguel would respect that.
Fuck. If it was someone else, I could've just swept it under the rug and pretend it never happened. But I will see him again, and frequently.
The limo stops, and I wait until someone opens the door for me and takes my hand to help me out. We didn't drive that far, and the city's hustle and bustle is still around us.
I smell my mom's signature perfume before she speaks.
"Baby girl!" She giggles like a school girl as she hooks her arm through mine. "I have something for you."
"What are you doing here?" I can't help but smile, her energy is always contagious.
"To make sure you look beautiful, of course! Well, you're already beautiful just as you are, just something a little more appropriate."
I'm wearing what I usually do on a day of training, a leotard with tights and sweatpants and a sweater just thrown over it. If we're going somewhere for dinner, we could've just stopped at my place.
So where the hell are we exactly?
Mom leads me to God knows where, and finally, she takes off my blindfold.
I spin around to take in my surroundings and frown. We're inside a spacious dressing room. Are we in another theater or something?
"Don't ask me where we are!" Mom laughs and unzips a garment bag, revealing a beautiful flowy dress of chiffon and lace in my favorite colour purple.
"Dario made it just for you, so it would fit like a glove." She winks at me. "Let's keep your hair pinned, it shows off your beautiful face."
Dread settles in the pit of my stomach.
Please someone tell me this isn't what I think it is.