Chapter 182 Giving in - Simon POV
"It's nice, isn't it?"
I almost jump out of my skin at T.J.'s voice behind me.
I'm standing in the studio slash gym of Madison and Miguel's new house. It is very beautiful, and something I would never be able to afford. Not that I want kids of my own. I feel like when you don't have kids, you don't need all the space.
"It's beautiful." It would be great to have a home studio though, with a proper hardwood floor.
T.J.'s hands come around my waist, and he rests his chin on my shoulder. "Are you okay?"
I sigh deeply, not really knowing how to answer that. Jeffrey Bloomberg committed suicide, in the same fashion that Ben did. In some way, I'm relieved that I don't have to get on that stand to testify. On the other hand, I feel robbed of justice.
Ben and Jeffrey violated me, they manipulated Robert who in turn manipulated me. And there's just no repercussions, because they thought it would be better to be dead than to face the consequences of their actions.
"Honestly? I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I feel relieved and angry at the same time."
His arms tighten around my middle, anchoring me to him.
It's beyond me how this man has not been taken, how in all his years he was never interested in anyone else, because he loves loud and thoroughly.
"Stay with me tonight?" He whispers in my ear, before he lightly bites my earlobe.
He is also going to be the cause of a bad case of blue balls, teasing me but withholding sex until I agree to no rubbers now that both of our tests are clean. It could be considered psychotic by normal people, and a major red flag.
But for some reason I find it extremely hot.
"I'll think about it." I spin out of his arms and go in search of Madison. T.J. isn't the only one that can be a tease.
He can't exactly blame me for being scared of this whole thing, or to think that this is way too good to be to true.
I find Madison in the nursery, where she's looking at the walls that are in the process of being painted in a safari theme.
"Do you think the baby will like this?" She asks when I stop next to her. "I mean, I reckoned it could work for a boy or a girl, just add some blue or pink."
"You don't want to know the sex of the baby?"
"I don't want to make any decisions without Miguel." She says sadly, and I hug her, thinking that if it was T.J., I probably would also hold out hope that he would come back soon, and that he would be ready to be a father.
I don't object when T.J. drives to his apartment after we drop off Madison at her parents' house, thinking of Madison and how she believes that she and Miguel will work out regardless of where he is and how he's doing.
What if I take a leap of faith like that?
This man has shown me for weeks now that he wants me, He went to go see my parents, I still don't know why because my father is not spilling any beans. I'm allowing past relationships and men to dictate my happiness in the now. Jeffrey is dead, the last string that held me onto my past. I should be looking into the future.
"Would you like some wine?" T.J. asks, not waiting for my answer before he retrieves two glasses.
I accept the glass of chilled white wine while I'm staring out at the city lights by the large windows, contemplating how I'm going to tell him that I will give living together a chance.
"Your lease is up in two months." He leans against the glass next to me, studying my face.
"And how the hell do you even know that." I lift my eyebrows sarcastically. "Let me guess, you have your ways."
He chuckles, not correcting me. "I was thinking that if after two months you still don't want to live with me, we break up."
"What!" I exclaim. "Are you giving me an ultimatum?"
"I'm telling you that I know I want you, that I want to spend the rest of my life with you, and that I want you here all the time." He walks closer to me until his chest meets mine, his silver-like eyes glistening. "So if after two months you still don't know what I already do, what's the use of being together then?"
"So it's all or nothing with you?" I shake my head incredulously.
"All or nothing is correct." He brushes his lips over mine, nipping on my bottom lip. "Now, can I fuck you, show you that two months are too long to wait to move in with me?"
"How do you even know I want to move in with you after two months? A lot can happen until then, you know. "
He's being an asshole, knowing how much I want him, because he kisses me hard until I moan and grab his hair.
He breaks the kiss and steps away. "I'll be in the bedroom. If you come, I fuck you raw, just you and me.
He walks away, disappearing in the way of his bedroom. I take a huge gulp of my wine, nerves fluttering in my stomach. This is such a test of trust. He's telling me he trusts me, that he wants to be with me. He's asking me to trust him with my heart.
A leap of faith. I deserve to be happy. Maybe I will crash and burn, and left to pick up the pieces of my broken heart.
But what if we fly? And I never even gave us a chance?
I leave my wine glass in the kitchen, and walk to his bedroom with a lot of doubt, but also a lot of hope.
I lick my lips when I find T.J. sprawled naked on the bed with his cock in his hand.
"Take off your clothes." He orders, and I do as he says without taking my eyes off him. He quickly gets off the bed and slams his mouth against mine. "Two months, Simon."
"Or we could make it sooner." I whisper against his lips.
He stills, his eyes meeting mine, "Are you sure?"
I'm not really, but I'm giving this a chance. "Yes."
"No turning back, no running away." He kisses me softly. "You said yes, so you're mine forever."
And I let him fuck me too, with nothing between us. If my heart does end up getting broken, at least I was loved for a short time.