Chapter 148 Rough - Miguel POV
My heart beats frantically in my chest, the anger simmering just above the surface threatening to hurt someone. My hands tremble on Madison's waist, the slight swell of her tummy before my face.
I want to fuck.
Hard.
Unrestricted.
I want to bury my dick so deep in her ass that she screams out in agony and pleasure.
I close my eyes as her fingers rake through my hair, her nails lightly scratching my scalp.
Madison is right in front of me, carrying my baby, telling me I can fuck her hard, but all I can think about is that bastard stealing her from me when she was always meant to be mine.
I see that video of her drugged, not knowing what's going on, and I want to dig the motherfucker up again and strangle him.
I kiss her stomach softly. Right now, my baby is the size of a pear, and its face is forming.
Ben's face looked like mine, I should have smashed it in so there was no open casket haunting me even after he's buried.
Will the baby look like me? Will it have my blonde hair and blue eyes? Will it look like him?
Madison must know I'm not in my right mind, because she slowly pushes her panties past her hips until they pool at her feet, then she steps out of my embrace, walking backwards until her knees hit the edge of the bed and she opens her legs in invitation.
I shouldn't do this when I'm feeling like this, but her pussy is right before me, her legs open for me to devour her body. So I get up, when I should've stayed away tonight, and I drag my boxer briefs down, stalking over to her, sniffing her pussy deep into my lungs like a man addicted. She moans loudly when I drag my tongue roughly through her folds.
Her parents are in the house, and hopefully the walls are thick, because I don't intend for her to be quiet tonight.
I suck her clit into my mouth, and she grabs my hair to try to get me off her, and I oblige, only to kiss over my baby, in-between her breasts, capturing her mouth with mine because I slam home inside her.
She screams, but my mouth absorbs the sounds as I screw myself even deeper into her heat. Her nails scratches my back as I drag my dick out of her wet heat, only to slam into her over and over, the feel of her all around me so good, I bite her bottom lip, my tongue tangling back with hers as I fuck what's mine.
She doesn't tell me to stop, instead she takes all the anger that I'm pounding into her pussy.
She thrashes her head from side to side as I grab her thighs and open her legs even further, sitting back on my knees so I can see how my dick is creaming her pussy.
I'm being rough, not giving her nearly enough time to adjust to me, but her pussy is leaking for me, my dick hitting the end of her as I fuck her hard and fast, the bed frame rattling against the wall.
My orgasm is blinding, rushing through me like a storm, my balls tight as fuck as I spurt rope after rope of sperm into her soaked walls.
It takes a while from my breathing to slow down, and I'm careful not to fall on top of Madison, but I don't want to take my dick out of her either, so I carefully turn her so we're lying side by side while I'm still inside her.
Her chest is still heaving with her eyes closed.
I kiss her lips slowly. "Did I hurt you?"
I stroke over her stomach with my thumb, feeling guilty that I was so rough with her.
I have to stay away from her until I do something about the rage that is constantly bubbling on the surface.
Those green eyes open, heat pouring from them. "Only in the best way."
"Didn't I hurt the baby?" What if my demons transfer to the baby? What if I'm too damaged, too rotten in the inside that I can't be a father? Or have a healthy relationship?
"We're allowed to have sex, Miguel, unless there are complications, which is not the case." Madison kisses the tip of my nose. "I'm not made of glass ."
It feels like it. I've wanted her for so long. First I had to see her with Ben, then when I had her he was still an issue.
Now he's gone.
And I don't think I deserve her.
She should be with someone who is clean on the inside, someone who doesn't come with all the baggage I have. She doesn't even know half of who I am, because I keep the sick secrets hidden from everyone.
Yet, she is so brave, coming out and telling the whole world what happened to her.
But I can't even utter the words to one person, the shame of what I've done deeply engraved into my bones.
She's better than me.
"Tell me what you're thinking." Her fingers stroke over my eyebrows, my eyelids fluttering closed. "You can tell me if today wasn't easy for you, I wouldn't blame you."
"The only thing I'm mad about today is that I wasn't the one to kill him." At least I can be honest about that. "How about you? How are you feeling?"
The fingers on my eyebrows stop, and I open my eyes to see the expression on her face.
"I feel guilty that I'm happy he's dead." She blinks the sheen in her eyes away. "Does that make me a bad person?"
"It makes you human." I tell her. "He was a bad person who did bad things to other people, you were not responsible for his actions."
She sighs deeply. "I know. So what's next?"
I smile, hiding the hurt I feel inside. "We decorate our house, and we have our happily ever after."
She smiles, love radiating out of her.
And me?
I feel like a fucking liar.