Chapter 145 Stepping down - Benedict POV
I stand in front of my father's tombstone.
I failed.
I failed the Cargills, I failed Valentina and I committed the biggest failure of all.
I failed my sons.
The legacy of the Cargills are tainted. The very thing I vowed to uphold is flushing down the drain as we speak.
I promised my father I would become president of this country. He equipped me with everything I needed. He gave me wealth, status, contacts, and power.
Fuck, he even chose my wife, even though I never loved her, I knew she played a role that Valentina never could.
Valentina was raised with love and passion. Caroline was brought into this world with class and recognition, the perfect wife to a future president.
I thought Ben was smart to date the Smith girl. Her family has contacts that I didn't have, new money that could've meant something to me down the line, and even a bloodline to the former president.
Ben had everything, but he went and fucked it all up by being too greedy.
Samuel warned me once when he was still a child. He said I should be more vigilant when it came to Ben, that the way Caroline was smothering him was maybe too much. I didn't listen, because I was always working, trusting Caroline with the kids.
So who is to blame with the way Ben turned out?
Caroline or me?
Maybe it's both of our fault. What the fuck do I even know? Especially since my other son seemed to have swooped in on the Smith girl.
He thinks I'm stupid. I know he's probably going to see her when he sneaks out of the house.
He can't be with her, at least not publicly. It will only add more gasoline to the fire that's already burning too high.
I don't even know how I'm feeling. Or how I'm supposed to feel. I lost a son. No parent should bury a child, yet everywhere I turn that same son is being crucified by the world. I can't say that I blame them, he deserves the outrage of what he's done.
Of what I have done.
Am I not as responsible as him because I'm his father? I know I carry some responsibility of how my kids turned out.
"To the office sir?" My driver asks me when I get back into the chauffeured car.
I see the pity in his eyes. It's the same look everyone else has been giving me ever since Ben's sins came to light. Now it's even worse with him killing himself.
The father of the monster.
Everyone wants an interview with me. They want to know if I didn't see any signs.
No, my son was the best actor. Aside from always wanting to be better than Miguel, he was perfect. He did what I asked him to, showed up when it was expected.
I thought for sure that he would be the one to take over from me one day. Miguel was always the one that seemed to rebel against everything I expected him to do. He never gave a shit of the expectations the Cargills are supposed to carry.
"To the office." I lean back in my seat, watching the cemetary go by.
Soon, I will return, to lay another Cargill in the ground.
The office is buzzing when I get there, my secretary unable to meet my eyes. Well, he's not going to be my secretary for much longer.
"Are you ready, senator?" He hands me the well-crafted speech that I've already read over a multiple of times.
I nod, having no words for what I'm about to do.
"Miguel just arrived, sir."
I look up in surprise at my son walking towards me, dressed smartly in a navy business suit.
"What are you doing here?" I ask, yet inside my dead heart rejoices slightly.
He stops in front of me, and adjusts my tie, something I used to do for him when he was younger and he was on his way to school.
"I'm here to stand behind you, or next you, wherever you want me to be."
I hate it, but he leans in and hugs me. Only this time I'm not stiff, or asking him what the hell he's doing. I return the hug, because what does it even matter anymore.
He's already a man. I already raised him, and as Ben has proved, whatever happens to him from here on out, is based on his own decisions.
"Are you ready?" He asks as he steps back.
"No." I answer honestly. "This is not what I pictured when I thought of leaving this office."
He nods. "I understand."
No saying he's sorry, and I appreciate that. People have been telling me they're sorry for over a fucking week now, I'm tired of the damn words.
There is only one camera to record me. No other press, nothing fancy. The recording will be sent to news platforms, and they can do with it what they want.
"Good morning New York, and the rest of the United States of America. It is with utmost regret that I come before you today, and resign from my position as Senator of the State of New York." I pause, the words before me blurring, and I have to blink before being able to continue. "As you well know, my family has been going through a series of events that have left me in a state of disbelief, sadness, and grief. To all the victims that have been influenced by my son's actions, I wish to extend my profound apologies. In no way, shape or form do I, nor this office condone any type of violence, especially that to women and children. I may not deserve it, but I am asking the public to show my family grace in this very difficult time that we find ourselves in. It has been an honor to serve the State of New York and this country, and I regret to give up this role, but I do realise that me being in office might be triggering to all victims of sexual abuse. Thank you for allowing me to have done this job in the time I was given. Goodbye."
Again, Miguel is there to hug me, and again, I let him.
I gave up his mother once, because that was what I was told to do. I worked harder than any man I knew, because that was the requirement. Now I'm a free man, and I will hug the son I left, because I can.