Chapter 144 Trauma bonding
"So, the news is filled with Ben's death, but we want to change the narrative."
I'm in the District Attorney's office, wearing another outfit that looks both stylish and hiding my pregnancy in case someone picks up something. They asked me to see them, but my attention keeps on being distracted.
I haven't heard from Miguel himself. All I know is what T.J. said and what was said in the news.
They're suggesting that someone was maybe disgruntled, maybe one of Ben's victims, and they wanted someone close to him to pay.
This is going to follow us everywhere we go.
That asshole killed himself, and somehow we're paying the price.
Even in death, Ben is having the last say.
Is this what he wanted? He had to know the fallout of his actions would ruin everyone else's lives around him.
People are speculating that it's just a matter of time before the senior Cargill steps down from office. He is a senator that the people actually liked, but the office can't be associated with what Ben did.
"What is it that you're asking Miss Smith to do exactly?" My lawyer asks.
Yeah, I didn't come here alone. I have legal representation and a PR specialist.
"We want to do a victim statement press conference." The DA smiles at me. "With Ben dead, we can't prosecute him, but we can let the world know that we won't stay silent and unseen."
"To be honest, I don't want any more attention on my life." I shake my head. "I did what I did because I knew if I said something, it will garner more media attention and maybe more victims will step forward. I didn't do it for myself, trust me."
"I understand." The DA nods. "But we're asking for just one more time, we will hold a meeting with everyone else that wants to say something, and then we can decide what happens after."
I look to the PR specialist who smiles encouragingly at me. "I think it would be good for your image if that's what you're worried about. The support for you online has been tremendous, this will be great for the other victims too."
"I just don't want people digging into my personal life."
I have to protect my baby, and my relationship with Miguel. There will be people that maybe won't understand it, and I don't want anyone's opinion to taint what we mean to one another.
"Just this once, please. We are scared the victims and the public who might want to come forward won't do it. With him being dead, people may think we just want to sweep what he did under the rug, and that is not the case. As you know, he comes from a very prominent family, the rest of the city might think that the justice system is biased, when we're doing everything we can not to be."
There are so many things I want to say to that, because in some ways they are biased, and I have experienced first-hand how the rich and elite run this city more than the government. Ben got away with his shit for years because he benefited from that system.
How many people aren't left with no answers because they don't have the resources the Cargills have?
"One more time, and I'm done." I gulp, the inexplicable tears threatening to overwhelm me again. "Ben is dead, and I want to bury him forever."
"Understood."
T.J. has to dodge reporters left, right, and centre when we leave the DA's office. They are definitely following me, so I have to be extra careful what I do and where I go in the future.
Or I need to get the fuck out of this city again.
I call Miguel as soon as I'm back in my bedroom, dialling him three times before he eventually picks up.
"Little mouse, I can't talk right now, things are crazy over here." It seems like he's whispering.
"T.J. said you were in an accident, I just want to know if you're okay."
Just hearing his voice makes me yearn for him, this whole situation is fucked up. Are we ever going to be able to be together like a normal couple?
"I'm okay, I have some bruises from the fall, but no broken bones or anything that won't heal." His voice softens. "Thank you for being concerned, I miss you like crazy. How's the baby?"
"Everything's fine." I smile. "I'm glad you're okay, and I miss you too."
"I have to go, I'll make a plan to see you soon."
My smile drops as soon as he ends the call. Ben is no longer a concern, yet we still have to be in hiding like we're doing something wrong.
I agree to the press conference the following day, and I'm so happy to see Simon amongst what seems like over ten survivors of Ben's sinister deeds.
He almost runs me over when I step into the room, and I hold unto him just as tight.
"Where the fuck have you been!" He asks when he puts me down, tears shining in his eyes. "I tried calling you but your number was disconnected."
I pull him to a corner where nobody can hear us.
"I'm so sorry, I sort of went off the radar. My family didn't know where I was either."
"But why?" He looks hurt.
"I think my phone was maybe bugged, and we think that Ben killed that model Armando. You know, the one the press said I was dating." I explain.
Simon shakes his head. "I can't say I am surprised. I wished you would've said something, I thought I was going insane."
"You weren't the only one." I hug him again. "I'm glad you're here, and I'm so proud of you."
"I wasn't gonna let you do this by yourself." He winks, that playfulness I love about him sneaking out. "Also, I have a witness. Robert came back as soon as the news broke that Ben offed himself. That Jeffrey guy was also charged with my rape after Robert spilled the beans. Turns out, he was never even gay, he was blackmailed by Ben to do whatever he wanted him to."
"Shit, how are you feeling? I know you really liked him."
Simon shrugs. "It is what it is. At least I know the truth now."
Every news outlet is at that press conference, and every victim gets a chance to say what Ben did to them. Some cry, others are mad, but everyone has a voice.
My palms are sweaty when I'm the last one to go, my throat dry, but I clear it and lick my lips. If everyone else did it, so can I, so I say the words that I was in denial over for some time.
"My name is Madison Smith, and I was drugged and raped by Benedict Cargill the second."
And it felt so freeing to be able to to voice that to the world.