Chapter 117 Sick
"This is just absolutely amazing, isn't it?" Mom beams as she sways her hips to the music. "We haven't been on vacation together in so long!"
I smile. I'm fucking dizzy from the lights, and earlier I had to go throw up after drinking my cocktail. Mom doesn't know, but I told the bartender to only make me mocktails even when my mother is ordering for us.
My parents think I'm having a good time with them, but in reality, I'm fucking miserable and sick.
It's only been four days since we left New York, but I miss Miguel. I've never missed someone to this capacity, it literally feels like my heart is being ripped from my chest.
I'm a goner. How could I long for a man so much?
I can't help but laugh as Mom takes Dad to the dance floor. My father has no rhythm, but he gladly dances with her, and it reminds me of Miguel in those damn ballet tights I still haven't seen in real life.
"Is this seat taken?" A cute guy with brown hair and baby blue eyes smirks at me.
I smile politely. "Until my mother stops embarrassing my father, yes."
He takes that as an invitation and slides on the stool next to me. "I would ask if I can buy you a drink, but I can see you're sorted."
I look at my mocktail that is mostly juice. "And this is also an all-inclusive resort."
He chuckles. "My friends dared me to come talk to thee Madison Smith, and I couldn't pass on the opportunity."
I follow his gaze to a table with people around my age laughing and talking looking at us, and I wave at them.
"You wanna join us?" The guy asks.
That's what people my age do right? They make friends on holiday and hang out with them, but these people already have an expectation of who I am, so I just smile and shake my head.
"Thanks, but I promised the parentals my total devotion." I lie, my parents would probably love it if I made friends here. "But thanks for the invite."
The guy clutches his chest. "Declined by Madison Smith, at least I tried." I laugh as he winks at me and rejoins his friends.
It would be so easy to just do what is the norm, but I have no desire to talk to any man.
Luckily my parents don't want to stay too long after that, and we head to our rooms.
The next morning I wake up feeling even more queasy.
I didn't drink the water from the tap, and I don't recall eating anything weird either. I literally throw up in the shower.
If I tell my mom, she's going to be all fussy, and won't leave me in peace.
I brush my teeth again, and roam in the little medicine bag I always keep when I'm travelling.
My fingers brush over my birth control pills, and I stiffen.
My heart literally misses a beat as I extract the pills.
It can't be. I didn't drink the pills when I was in bed feeling guilty over what happened to Simon and realising what Ben did to me, but I doubled on the dose every day until I caught up.
It just can't be. I read somewhere that the hormones stay in your system for a while, people even struggle to conceive after being on it for so long.
I've been on the pill since my senior year in high school. That is years and years. You don't just fall......
I can't even think of the word.
Fuck!
My whole life is going to be over. I'm a professional ballerina, there is no space for a....
I go down to breakfast when Mom knocks on my door, looking at everything like they're the enemy.
It has to be some kind of food poisening, that's the only explanation.
I carefully put only fruits on my plate, and get some yoghurt, my choice of food not weird at all to my parents who is going over our itinerary for the day.
How do I tell them I don't feel like kayaking or jet skiing when my Dad excitedly shows me a picture of how beautiful it is to go jet skiing?
So I find myself on a damn jet ski with a life vest and Mom snapping photos like I've never been out with them before.
I hurl twice, all the fruits and yoghurt I had coming out, and I hope to God my parents didn't see.
I've never been more grateful for a damn jet ski excursion to be over.
"Maybe we can go somewhere else on the island for lunch." Mom suggests cheerfully. "I read there are some amazing places we just have to go to."
"I have a really bad headache." I say quickly. "I think I'm rather going to lie down."
"Oh, baby girl." Mom feels my forehead with the back of her hand. "You don't feel hot or anything."
"It's probably just the stress, I'll be okay once I take a nap."
"Take whatever time you need." Dad says before Mom has a chance to respond to that."
"I'll see you guys around dinner, okay." I leave them, hoping Dad convinces Mom her twenty-five-year old daughter is big enough to take care of herself.
"Hi." I smile at the receptionist when I go inside, my heart hammering wildly in my chest. "How do I get access to a pharmacy?"
As much as I try to avoid the subject in my head, I have to do something, and quick. I have to know.
"We can get you whatever you need, we also have a doctor on site if you need assistance." The receptionist says in a friendly tone. "Would you like me to book you an appointment?"
"That won't be necessary." I grab the little notepad and pen from the desk and scribble on it, too scared to say the words out loud. "Could you get me that? I will pay for it myself, don't bill it on the rooms, please."
She nods, understanding dawning on her expression. "I'll have someone send it to your room as soon as possible."
"I appreciate that, thank you."
I go to my room with lead in my feet.
My life might change today, forever.