Chapter 58 A Satisfying Conclusion
ALICE
I closed the refrigerator slowly, then opened it again and peered at the inside until I couldn't take it anymore.
I couldn't get him out of my mind, not even in my own apartment. Everywhere I looked now, it reminded me of him and it was just so messed up. Today was my last day. I was going in just to collect my last paycheck.
This was what I wanted, so what the hell was wrong with me?
Confusion would eat me alive. Mr. Linden—I meant, Theo, was driving me insane. Before New Year's Eve, I was a woman who was sure of all her decisions. I thought I knew myself so well. Had everything figured out.
And then, my life turned on its head and I lost track of who I truly was, and who I wanted to be.
The worst of it all was that I felt attracted to him. If anything, these past few days were enough proof of that. My core tightened when I remembered the couch incident. That was what I was calling it in my mind anyway.
Only time would tell if my feelings were valid or not, I knew that, too. But what if this didn't get better with time? I was afraid of that, too.
But this was a step in the right direction, right?
Either way, there was only one way to find out.
I left my apartment and drove to the office, dressed the way I usually was. I spent all of last night searching for new positions. I couldn't apply to the ones I'd been rejected from, and it was hard to find anything suitable.
I parked the car and walked up to the building. I felt inexplicably dizzy and had no idea why. Technically, I wouldn't have to see him because I was heading to the HR department. I'd just pick it up and walk away, simple as that.
I walked past the reception area downstairs, telling myself that it was the last time this would happen. This happened before, but this time, the realization was bitter.
I stepped inside the elevator and focused on taking deep breaths. Someone stepped in right after me—an elderly woman wearing a perfectly angled French beret over her silky short gray hair, a black trench coat that looked like it had been made especially for her, and black high-heeled boots.
Her handbag looked like it cost a fortune, too.
"Good morning," she murmured in greeting, smiling warmly. I returned the smile and the greeting, and she pressed the button to the floor she was going to.
It was the one directly below mine.
"I've never seen you around here before," she claimed. "First day?"
"Last, actually."
"Oh," she remarked. "What a shame."
I said nothing. We rode in silence for a few seconds before she said, "What was your last position, if you don't mind me asking?"
I found her question strange, but answered her nonetheless. "Executive assistant."
"Ah. A good position, but you could definitely do better. Aim higher."
I raised my eyebrows. "Well, it's hard to score managerial roles without the proper experience."
"Is that what you're looking for?"
"I don't know. At this point, whatever I find will be good for me."
The elevator stopped on her floor, and she smiled at me before walking out. I watched her go and wondered what the hell that was about. Our interaction fled my mind as soon as I reached our floor. I was so nervous. I didn't want to see him, but at the same time, I wanted to.
I was just terrified of what would happen if I did.
Everything ran smoothly. I collected my paycheck and was just about to leave, but Emma's nauseating voice stopped me in my tracks. "I'd say I'm sad to see you go, but that would be a lie."
I kept on going until I reached the lobby. She was right behind me even though she had no good reason to be. "What, the affair didn't work out for you? Don't tell me you spread your legs for nothing."
Her words enraged me. I whirled around, anger rising to the surface like lava. "You pathetic cunt. Why don't you give it a rest? Do you think everyone has the time you have? I don't have time for scheming and plotting like you do. I'm not low like you."
Yes, I slept with my boss, that was true, but not because I thought I'd gain anything from it.
Emma didn't like hearing the truth from my mouth, so she stepped toward me, practically snarling. "You think you're so much better than me, don't you? Well, I don't think you are. I think you're a fucking hypocrite and that's exactly why you never deserved the position you had or your fiancé! You never paid much attention to Benji. You were always working and neglecting him, and of course, he had no idea how you were always in our old boss's office doing heaven-knows-what, and then, when he died, you did the same thing with his son! And you know what's even funnier to me? How you acted like you hated him when you clearly didn't!"
I shook my head at her. I was visibly disgusted when I said, "Just listen to yourself for one goddamned second, Emma. Do you realize how crazy and obsessive you sound? What gives you the right to judge any aspect of my life? You're wrong. You're so wrong about everything. Jesus, why don't you invest all this energy in trying to better yourself?"
I parted my lips to add to this, but decided against it at the last minute. I didn't have another second to waste on this shit. I began walking away from me, but he grabbed my arm, irritated by the dismissal, and said, "Don't you dare walk away from me, you—"
"Ah, Miss Barkley."
We were both started by the sound of Mr.—no, Theo's voice. We made eye contact as I tore my arm from Emma's grip and he walked toward us. It seemed he'd been standing behind us for some time.
"M-Mr. Hawthorne," she said as she ran her fingers through her hair and stood up straighter with a fake smile on her face. I shook my head at the ridiculousness of it all. "What can I do for you?"
"Linden\-Hawthorne," he corrected before stopping only a foot or so away from us. "I don't know how many times I need to tell you that. Frankly, I'm tired of correcting you."
Emma's face burned. "I'll get it right next time. It won't happen again."
"I know it won't, because there won't be a next time. You're fired."
Her jaw nearly touched the floor. Listen, I wasn't a bad person. Not inherently. But seeing shock written all over her face satisfied me more than it should. Why should I be the bigger person all the time? Why couldn't I indulge in the occasional cruelty? There was something almost narcissistic about wanting to be perfect all the time.
"F-Fired?"
"Yes. I've been meaning to do that for quite some time now. Your presence here is no longer wanted. I have no time for employees who have their...let's say their minds elsewhere. Loyalty is a quality I value above all else. Are you a loyal person, Miss Barkley?"
"Yes!" she lied, stepping toward him. He raised a hand so she wouldn't get so close. "I always gave the company one hundred percent. If you give me a chance—"
"Pack your things and leave. That's all." His gaze then slid to me and I had to admit that my heart skipped a beat. I forgot how to breathe, and there was a part of me that ached. I expected him to say something. Hell, anything. But he just nodded at me and turned on his heel.
I watched him go with a growing emptiness that made me question every decision I made to this point.
Emma stormed away from me, eyes brimming with tears. It seemed her world stopped revolving around me for a minute. Good for her. Maybe this would serve as a lesson for her. I continued to the elevator, saying goodbye to Beth who saw everything, naturally.
Someone stepped out of the elevator as I was about to get in. It was the man whose phone I broke.
I didn't even know his name.
"Ah. Look who it is," he remarked. He was smirking. "Leaving so soon?"
"I received my last paycheck today."
I only told him this so he could leave me alone, but he tilted his head to the side and said, "I was quite looking forward to our future interactions. You still owe me a phone, you know?"
I arched a brow as he walked past me and decided to push the whole thing to the back of my mind. I stepped inside the elevator and took a deep breath. As it closed, I told myself that this was the start of a new chapter in my life.
Whatever happened...happened.
I wasn't in control of anything anyway.