Chapter 37

Where are you? He texts me. I can't wait to see you. I bite my lip. I look at the road. We'll be there in about 20 minutes. I wait. I wait. I see him texting. He changes his mind. He texts again. Are you staying with your dad tonight? I want to ask him somewhere else but I know where. Travis's. No. I'm staying with dad. Travis and I aren't married like all couples get married. We're not family. Yes. Why? Apollo looks. I hand him the phone because he can see the turn anyway and I prefer him to pay attention to the road.

"You see he wants to come to you. Has he come like this before? At night?"

"Evening." I read my message a few times.

After Dad falls asleep, I write to him. You leave me a message to open the door for you. He agrees with me to do so. Now I wait for us to arrive longer than before. When I get off Mina almost breaks me. Then I feel Dad. Ares and Artemis, Athena, gentle as always, sweet as a mother. Delilah. I hug Hades briefly and let Travis pull me into his arms. To kiss me. He says hello to Ted, David. Anna and Harold. Drako. We've been writing to each other for years and I love him like a brother but this is the first time we've really seen each other. Then Rory. Rory hugs me and kisses me on the forehead and on the mouth. I can't get used to her like this, elegant and in other colors, not in our gray uniform with white T-shirts. She fixes my hair, again. Then she breaks away from me. She turns and smiles at her father, who smiles back, a little too excited for me not to notice. I already know that Mina can give me all the information I need. Mina always knows everything.

"They're friends," she whispers complicitly when I ask her. "I don't think it's anything more though. Rory is seeing Artemis behind Anna's back. But I think your father has a... Passion for her."

"Uhh… It could be worse, I think to myself as I climb the stairs to Grandma's room. They could have had sex. That would have been… Traumatic."

"Why? Do you really think that since Lucille Gerald left, there has been any saint? Or has she?"

I shake my head.

"No. But I saw Rory naked. That would have been weird. Is Grandma feeling that bad?"

I know I wouldn't normally expect to be visited in bed. It must be a nasty situation if she's calling me into her room. I don't remember ever coming in here.

"See for yourself," she urges me.

Mina is waiting for me outside. I knock on the door and enter. She is in her hair in her satin nightgown. She has the TV on and seems to be watching it but stops. She looks at me. Her long, gnarled fingers end in sharp nails. Red. She motions for me to sit next to her and I do. I sit down at the edge of her hair.

"Kassie," whisper my name. "Our Kassie… Have you gone out yet? Oh, how my Chiron loved you… and how I love you too! Let me see you again. How beautiful I have made you!"

Chiron? I barely remember her late husband. Only now, after all this Timo, do I know who he is. Chiron. Her husband. In mythology he's a teacher or something. Half man, half horse. He was the tutor of Achilles and Patroclus. Of so many others. But then, Chiron Leigh was also a kind of teacher. I take her hand in mine and remember what Apollo said on the way. I kiss the back of her hand.

"How are you feeling, grandma?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she assured me. "Not like our last meeting though. My body is starting to desert me, you know how it is, at this age. But I'm still fine. I love you for sacrificing yourself... but it's good because now no one will dare to say that you're not part of the family. You know I loved you like my grandchildren."

"I know, I assure you because it's true. I know," I repeat and kiss her hand again. "I'll let you rest. Can I stop by your place these days?"

"Come over. Absolutely. And bring Mina too. I'm afraid she doesn't want to see me like this. She's afraid of separation. It's strange, honestly, if you consider our way of life. To be afraid of death."

"Maybe she just loves you too much. And she doesn't want to break up with you."

"Or she understands what happens when I die. You don't know," she understands, "but Athena takes my place because she's my first child. And Athena becomes the leader of the family and after her is Minerva. I can see why this prospect might scare her. Her lifestyle and tradition aren't exactly... Hand in hand. She and Ares give me a headache anyway. You see, Ares was always a little more... Different. Him and Artemis together. But now they're starting to talk about relationships... What did they call them? Poly..."

"Polyamorous?"

"Yes. Him and Mina and that boy Drako… And I'm really afraid that if they're not, others will follow. I don't have a problem with that, as I think Mina feels. I want to make her understand that I accept her as she is. And that she can lead the family, when her turn comes, with as many boyfriends or girlfriends as she wants. The Leigh family has always been a little different."

I've been noticing for a few years. I didn't know that Drako was also involved in their relationship. Or that Ares also has relationships with men. I did know, however, that Mina is bisexual and that she tends to fall in love with more than one person at a time. Or to have more than one crush at a time. I haven't talked about it with Ares but he always seemed fluid. Adaptable. So why not? The only problem I have with their small circle, toxic I would say, is that Ares is a little bit more mature than the other two. Plus Mina's uncle but I guess this discussion is no longer worth having.

I leave my grandmother's and when Travjs asks me what I'm doing tonight I beg my father with my eyes to insist that I stay with him. He doesn't understand me at all so I have to do the work alone. To tell him that I want a few hours of peace, but that I'll sleep with him tomorrow if he wants. To explain that I don't want to move in together yet, that I need a few more weeks of freedom before that. That I want to do whatever I want. We have time. I assure him that we have time while I think about the time without him. By the time I get home and I only spend about two hours with my father. We're both tired. I tell him that I'll see him in the morning and before I go to the shower I text Hades that my father is in his room. That he can turn it on. In half an hour he texts me to open the door. I go downstairs. I open the door and signal him to be quiet. I can hear my father snoring in his room. Hades holds my hand. We walk up the stairs. We make it quiet. We close the door. He stays by my side. He pulls me closer when I want to move away. He holds me in his arms. He leans slightly towards me.

"I would come here every night," he whispers.

If I were home every night, I wouldn't turn him down. If it were safe.

"Mina," I whisper to him. "Mina can help us here, I assure him. Let's see each other more often, without anyone suspecting anything. We go back to where we left off," I run my hands over his chest.

"Yes. But it's a start and that's if we do things differently this time. We were kids last time. But now…" he leans in for my lips. "Now we're more than that. Don't you think so?" He's kissing me. "Kassie? Kassie, don't you think so?" He insists that I answer him between kisses.

"Hmm? Yes," I assure him. "We are more today than we were yesterday," I cling to him better. "More than… Hades?" I pull away from him a little. "Hades, dad is sleeping next to me," I giggle when I bump into the furniture. "And don't you think it's too fast? I mean, before we never…"

"I'm not in a hurry," he assures me while still kissing me. "Let me enjoy having you here. Let me hold you in my arms. We'll get to more," he takes two steps forward. "We have time," he whispers but I think he's talking to himself.

Of course. I open my laptop and let him put on a movie. We find a recent documentary about Jeffrey Dahmer and play it. He holds me in his arms. We sit on the bed and he kisses my neck. We sit. I kiss his fingers and enjoy his scent. His warmth. He closes his eyes. He has his nose in my hair. I don't move. I lie next to him. Closer to him.

"We should kill together," he whispers to me.

"Why?"

"It's like a family ritual. Like a... Ares and Artemis kill together. Athena and Harold. It's like a sacred bond."

"You killed with Travis," I remind him.

"Yes. I know. And now I want to do it with you. Only with you," he kisses her neck. "Only with you," he goes down on my shoulder. "Damn it Kassie, how long do we wait?"

I smile crookedly. Not much. I tell myself not much. It's not the time yet and I don't tell him that I know that if I did this with him I would want to do it over and over again. And I would give up everything and not take care of myself and him. That I would forget to take care and now safety is more important than anything else. The Wade family would eat us alive. So we watched Dahmer eat people. It's better that way.