Father of the Bride

I shivered at the thought. Fortunately, Nora and Jax decided to write their own vows and they wanted to hear them for the first time when they said them to each other.

“We take the first step when the song starts.”

“Ok.”

He seemed relaxed. And why not? It was just walking slowly, after all.

“Let’s try to get this right in one go,” I said.

I expected some reaction at the idea of having to do more than one take. But, he knew Nora as well as me. If we messed up, we’d have to do it again.

It almost worked.

The walk went smoothly. I focused on Mitchell, waiting for me at the other end of the aisle. It helped me control the constant urge to look at Fred. This whole situation felt unreal, like a nightmare from which I couldn’t wake up.

We got to the altar, he let go of my arm, but when he leaned over to kiss me on the cheek, I had some kind of spasm. Somehow, I turned my head so abruptly, I effectively smashed his nose with my forehead.

“Oh, God, I’m sorry,” I said, my gaze bouncing between him and the camera.

I didn’t know to whom I should apologize first, to him or to Nora for ruining the rehearsal.

“Are you ok, man?” Mitchell asked.

Fred clamped two fingers on either side of his nose. To my relief, when he let go, no blood spurted out.

“I’m fine,” he said, looking at me.

He held my gaze and opened his mouth to say something else. He must have remembered that we had an audience, and closed it. He looked into the camera.

“Sorry, baby. We’ll do another take.”

Damn! Why did he have to say that? Maybe Nora would’ve let it go. When he offered me his arm to walk back up the aisle, it occurred to me that he was enjoying the situation. Bastard!

“Second time lucky?” he asked quietly in my ear as we were returning to the starting point.

“I sure hope so. Should I expect payback?”

He squeezed my hand under his arm without answering and we turned to face the camera, ready to start over. I had to hope that he wouldn’t do anything to purposefully mess up the take. I was more worried about me finding a new way to screw it up.

*****

We did the walk flawlessly. When we got to the kiss, I managed to keep still. To freeze was a more apt description. His eyes strayed for a split second to my lips, or it might have been just my imagination. He placed a chaste kiss on my cheek and took the last few steps to his seat in the front row while I turned around to face Mitchell.

Mendelssohn’s Wedding March started playing in the pocket of my dress. I took Nora’s call grateful to break the wedding tableau with Mitchell. The guy looked less irritated by the situation than I wished and it was making me uneasy.

Nora let me off the hook with the rehearsal. After the short conversation with “the boss”, I thanked the camera guy and my two co-stars. They were free to enjoy the rest of the evening, while I had to go talk to the kitchen staff and check on the flowers.

The tasks didn’t bother me. I was in no mood to enjoy this paradise. What I wanted was off limits.

Fred had showed up alone, as I knew he would from the guest list. I burned to find out if there was any place for me in his new life. At least for another night.

When Nora told me that he’d be here a day early, I got him, for one night, the closest available room. He would be only two doors away.

The urge to go to him grew to an unbearable intensity. While I was talking to the florist, in the back of my mind, I was thinking of pretexts to go to him. What would I say to get him to invite me in? Something other than the embarrassing truth.

Once I sorted out everything and called Nora again, I stopped in front of the elevator. There was only the tiniest chance that I might make it into my own room, not his.

A walk on the beach would make things worse. It was hard enough not to fantasize about having sex on the beach with Fred when I was a continent away. Here and now? It would be torture.

A better idea was to stay among people and have a drink. Every fiber in my body was screaming with tension. I couldn’t even remember the last time I had sex. A cocktail or five would help me unwind.

When I got to the hotel bar, I noticed that Mr. Fred had had the same idea.

Fred. I was supposed to get used to calling him Fred, now that I wanted to be treated like an adult. My mouth went dry at the mere thought. I couldn’t imagine saying his name in any other context than having crazy hot sex with him.

He either didn’t see me, or he pretended not to. I could leave.

It took me a moment to decide if alcohol was a good idea in his company. I wanted to relax, but getting too relaxed around him could make me say things I shouldn’t say. Or do things I shouldn’t do.

Fuck it.

“Well, that was awkward,” I said, sitting next to him.

He shot me an amused glance.

“Why would you say that?”

I wondered if he meant it. His behavior during the rehearsal hadn’t given me any clue that he found it uncomfortable. Maybe it hadn’t bothered him to act as if I was his daughter. Maybe he wished he could give me away.

“I just…” My voice trailed off, and I tried to think of a way to change the subject.

The bartender came over and took my order. Fred asked for another scotch. After he brought our drinks, he left us alone.

“Awkward is an understatement,” he said, looking into his drink.

“Oh,” was all I could say.

I wondered if he was on his second or his twenty-second scotch. He hadn’t slurred his words and his eyes didn’t look glassy, but he was wearing the same suit as he had in rehearsal. I hated how his shoulders slumped. Even if he wasn’t drunk, he was not in a good place. I wished I could do something to make him feel better, and it had nothing to do with my promise to his daughter.

“Nora had a good idea with the rehearsal,” he said softly, his eyes still focused on the amber liquid in his glass.

I sipped at my wine, unwilling to look at him. I didn’t know if I wanted to hear the rest. My heart rushed to believe what it wanted, while my mind tried to warn me that this conversation could get me hurt.

“Let’s go for a walk,” he said, putting his glass on the bar.

If we had to talk, I didn’t want to have other people around. I drank the rest of my wine in two gulps and stood up.

He didn’t stagger when he got up. Unfortunately, my legs didn’t seem all that steady. I was better with alcohol, but apparently not on an empty stomach.