Lost Girl (9)

Lost Girl (9)
But just as mom was worried, my dad found out that I didn't go to practice today. He got so angry that I couldn't believe he would be this angry before.

"This bastard, want to trying to skip practice, huh?"

My father gripped my neck so tightly that my body lifted upwards. I felt suffocated and struggled for him to release his grip.

"I-I'm not feeling well today, s-so-"

"Don't look for excuses...!"

He hit me in the face just like what Leo's father did to him. I know my father rarely uses physical violence like this, but when he does, it hurts a lot.

"I-I'm sorry-"

I tried to protect myself and even though I could have resisted his attack, because he was my father, I chose not to. I want to see how much violence he can do to me.

"You damn bastard...! A useless kid like you would be better off dead...!"

He continued to hit and kick me hard. My body and stomach, which previously felt very painful due to menstruation, became even more painful. When I was beaten like an animal, my mother and my sister just sat there at the dinner table without doing anything to help me. Yes, at first I thought so until blood came out of my nose and splattered on the floor.

Mother, who realized it, finally chose to act, maybe she didn't want me to die here and trouble them all.

"That's enough! Stop it...!"

"Don't interfere!"

"Don't you see, she's already bleeding? Do you want to kill her just because she didn't practice once?"

"This bastard is going to the tournament, why did you let him skip practice?"

"She's menstruating!"

"What are you saying?"

Father looked very shocked to hear mother's statement. Just like I was sure that this afternoon she asked me to keep my menstruation a secret from my father. But it was my mother who said it.

"Your daughter is having her first period and she is in a lot of pain. I hope you understand this time!"

"What are you saying, bastard? Who are you calling a daughter?" My father, who strongly denied the mother's statement, immediately pushed and intimidated the mother until her back hit the wall.

"How long are you going to keep denying it, Josh? She's your daughter! She's Lucia, stop treating her as a boy!"

Hearing my mother's statement, my father immediately slapped my mother so hard that my mother fell on the floor. His face looked very strange, so terrible that I thought he might kill my mother.

It wasn't just a slap, my father hit my mother many times until I saw my mother screaming for help. I, who witnessed this terrible scene, for some reason couldn't do anything but remain curled up in the corner of the room with tears streaming down my face.

I heard how my father said that it was not Lucas who was dead and buried in the ground, but me, whom he never remembered at all in his memory. But despite being hit with repeated blows, my mother refused to take back her words about who I really was. She kept telling dad that I was Lucia, not Lucas and hoped that he would stop continuing to deny it.

What happened that day traumatized me more mentally than when I had to face the criminals who attacked my friends a few years ago. The pain and trauma I felt slowly made me hate myself.

I always wonder why I can't live as myself? As Lucia, an ordinary girl who really likes dolls and pretty, brightly colored dresses. Why can't I live like other girls who freely grow their hair and understand their favorite ribbons? Why can't I be a girl who can cry whenever I feel sad and hurt? Why can't I be like that?

Every day I do it by regretting how I had to just give up in order to get sympathy and attention from a father who from the start never thought I existed.

It felt more painful than an ax hit that had pierced my body somevyears ago. But even so, I felt a little happiness because this was the first time my mother sacrificed the peace she had always guarded to defend me.

"Mom, thank you. I really appreciate it."




At first I thought the day was going to be hard, because I always have a place where I can have a little fun and forget about my suffering while at home. However, just when I thought everything would be fine here, for the first time I realized that from the start everyone was looking at me in a different way.

"Lucia is really annoying, she's dirty, rude and acts like a thug. I don't know why Bryan and his friends want to be friends with someone like her."

"You're right, Depney! I don't think she'll ever get married."

"Which man would want to marry a woman like her? Hahaha..."

I heard and witnessed how I was viewed all this time. From a long time ago I had the thought embedded in my head that I was normal like other children. Yes, maybe I look normal enough, but not to them.

I, Bryan, Pierre, Leo and Chris, who originally wanted to go to class, were forced to stop our footsteps when we heard how Depney and her friends were making fun of me.

I honestly don't care what they really think about me, but I feel so humbled that Bryan, Pierre, Leo and Chris have to hear it too.

I was silent like a lifeless mannequin who, when the opportunity arises, will try to run and isolate myself as far as possible. But when I realized Pierre was trying to act, that's when I knew I had to stop him.

"Pierre, never mind! Never mind!" I said as I walked away. I didn't cry, I just felt that I was very unlucky. Yes, I'm very unlucky.