Chapter Twenty Seven — Katie

I took Mom’s hands as the boys exchanged words and they were happy. It was good to see them like that after the way Stan left so many weeks ago. Seeing him today made me feel as if I’d known him for years. He’d changed so much, not only physically had he lost a couple of pounds or probably more, but his eyes and even the way he was dressed reminded me of when I first met Rick. All clean-shaven and well polished, not the Rick I know today. I bet even Stan was surprised to see Rick had changed and wasn’t as uptight as he used to be, the twins are to thank for him completely letting his guard down.

“I’m so happy you’re with the boys. They seem so nice. I can’t wait to meet the twins.”

I was helping Mom unpack in what used to be my old room. I hadn’t told her about the sleeping arrangment. I knew she wouldn’t disapprove, but then, I didn’t know if she would approve, either.

“The way those boys spoke about you, I was trying to figure out if Rick really was your boss or your boyfriend.”

I closed my eyes as I turned to face her. I stopped putting her clothes and hanging them in the closet, and decided tomorrow’s Thanksgiving, so I should just be open and tell her what’s really going on.

“He is.”

She hugged me. “Oh good, I was hoping you would say that. I want you to be happy, you know that.”

I held on to her hands as I had to tell her the other news. Not only was Rick my boyfriend and was I looking after the twins, but there was more to this household.

“Pete’s my boyfriend, too!”

She screamed and then covered my mouth. Her dark eyes lit up as if they were about to jump out of their sockets. “No!”

I nodded. “Yes.” Then I covered my mouth and giggled like a little girl, because it was the first time I’d actually told someone. When we came back from San Fran, we told Aunt Elizabeth, but she’d already guessed it. She said she knew before she’d met me there was something special about me. Now, we had to tell Stan, but then I assumed the guys were already out talking about it. They said they would approach him with the idea since they knew Stan was into me—even if he never acted like it. They also told me he was a virgin, somethingI found impossible to believe, but then I knew the boys wouldn’t lie to me.

Every time Mom let go of her mouth, she would laugh so loud and hold it again. Years of being a teacher had made her humble, but I could tell by the way she dressed with heels and her black shift dress, something had changed. Whenever she went out of town she would never wear more than a jeans and shirt, but today, she dressed up. She said she was coming to L.A. and she wanted to fit in. Now, she looked more like the sister that I never had, more than my mom.

“I can’t believe it. You got out of the realms of that narcissistic bastard, and you’ve hooked up with not one SEAL, but two.”

I shrugged. “Maybe not just two… I mean, I want them to be the way they were before. Brothers who would do anything for each other. I know Stan’s into me.”

She titled her head as she motioned for me to sit on the edge of the bed next to her. “I think he’s a little more than just into you judging by the way he looked at you when we walked in…”

“I know, but he’s been gone for months. We don’t know if he’s coming home for good or not.”

She smiled, not saying anything but just using her hand to cup my face. My precious mom, who I turned my back on and left, with Ben claiming he was the love of my life. Thank God she forgave me, because one thing’s for sure, I needed her more than ever now.

“Do they know?”

I frowned, wondering what she was talking about.

“That you’re pregnant, silly.”

I waved my hand and dismissed the idea of it. Where the hell did she come up with that idea?

“No, I’m just feeling a little under the weather. I think it’s something I ate. Nothing more than that. So, don’t get excited, there’s no baby in here.”

She tapped my hand and no more was she laughing or even chuckling a little. She was looking at me with all the seriousness in the world.

“I’m a teacher. I see a lot of pregnant women, and believe me, sweet child. You are one of them. When was the last time you had your period?”

I dismissed the idea of it. “No. I’ve never been regular. Even when I was on the pill… Oh, crap!”

“What?”

My mind was searching for the answer like crazy, or how to re-iterate what was going on inside my mind as I took my hands back and my mouth naturally fell open as it dawned on me. I jumped off the bed as if it was hot coal. “No, no, and no!”

I was holding my hand to my heart, which was racing out of control, as Mom’s words suddenly make more sense.

“Why hadn’t I thought about this?”

She took my arm and spun me around, to stop me from pacing up and down the room and to make sense, or at least speak to her.

“Ben and I hadn’t had sex for weeks. He said I smelled, worked too much, I wasn’t attractive, you name it.”

“Enough about Ben already.”

“Anyway, I ran out of pills and decided it was another expense, so I stopped. I mean, this was like six months ago. I came here was too scared and worried the guys would find out about me lying.”

I nodded, letting her take in all the information, because I told her over the phone the truth, the reason how I’d become a nanny in the first place.

“Then I was too worried about being kicked out. Spending time with the guys, being blackmailed by Stan, and the guys finding out the truth. Worried they would want me out. In a relationship with Pete. Him leaving, and all that in the span of four months, I didn’t think for one minute about the pill. I mean, I told them I was on the pill, but being on it and not taking it are two different things. What a fool I am. What am I going to do?”

She sighed. “Sweet girl. Why didn’t you just come home? You put yourself through all this stress. I just don’t know why you are so stubborn.”

I waved my finger at her. “I remember Nan saying you were not much different when you were younger. You were pretty stubborn yourself.”

Even though my time with Ben was a lot less to do with me being stubborn and just wanting to get away.

“I had to get away from the house. After Dad died, something in me died. I didn’t realize how much of me died until it was too late, and I was chasing after Ben and living a life in which I felt I didn’t want to live anymore.”

She raised an eyebrow. “You going to tell the boys then? Or do you want to wait a bit?”

I took a deep breath. Now was the perfect opportunity to go out and find out if what Mom suspected was true—if I really was knocked up. I wouldn’t even know what to do if I was.

I grabbed her hand. “Mom?”

“What is it? You look scared?”

I inhaled so deep, I didn’t want to let it out or let go of her hand.

“What if they don’t want to know. I mean, they have twins. We were in San Fran only a couple of weeks ago, and we agreed to us being a foursome. I mean, this is a bit much. More babies. Who needs more babies?”

“What do you mean? That’s my grandchild you’re talking about. One thing hasn’t changed for sure, you’re still panicking for no reason. The way those guys look at you, I’m pretty sure if they know you’re carrying their child, they’ll welcome him or her with open arms. You said they’ve gone out right?”

I nodded, feeling too speechless to speak.

“Let’s go to the pharmacy, get a test, and confirm what I already know.”

Again, I nodded, thinking Mom had come here to celebrate Thanksgiving, not have to deal with all this drama.

“You ready to leave?”

I nodded, taking deep breaths, thinking about the yoga classes that I said I would start. I needed to get my emotions under check, but I was crying and panicking like crazy—the same thing I did whenever I was on my period. Mom was right; I didn’t need a test to confirm what we both already knew. I was pregnant; I didn’t know who was the daddy, and I didn’t even know if it mattered. They’d just been reunited with Stan, and this could be the thing to bring the storm back into the penthouse.

Mom was right, one step at a time. I had to confirm that I was pregnant, and what came next would have to be figured out.

***

We both sat in the bedroom, the one where Mom had confirmed I could be pregnant. The one I used to sleep at night, fantasizing about Rick and Pete, until the fantasy became a reality and I moved into Rick’s room. I came here with only one bag—the bag had grown so much in the span of a few months—and I worried I would have to find a new place to stay if I was pregnant.

“Do you want me to go in the bathroom with you?” Mom said as she held the test.

It was nuts. I refused to pick it up from the pharmacy, as if holding it in my hands would make it real. It didn’t make a difference, but as I recited a hundred times in my head, I shouldn’t be pregnant right now. I didn’t feel sick and somehow, I’d managed to convince myself I had some fake pregnancy signs.

I shook my head, then she shoved the test into my hand.

I stood looking at her, practically crying, and I hadn’t even peed, let alone peed on the stick.

“Okay, so what you do is pee a little, then the heart of the pee, you put the stick under it. Got it?”

I nodded. Thinking maybe if I peed a little too much, then I would get the dead end of the pee and it would be negative.

“Katherine Andrea Baldson, go in there and pee on that stick. Stop being such a baby.”

That word. The one word I didn’t want to hear right now. Baby.

“Do you want me to come in and pull your panties down and put you on the toilet?”

“Mom.” I sighed, thinking she was going a little overboard, but she did have a point. I had no idea what time the boys would be back, and I needed to find out and figure out what to do beforehand. Thanksgiving was tomorrow, the twins would be back, and I didn’t know if I could spend the night in Rick’s or Pete’s arms, knowing I could be having their child.

The test only gave a round about date on how many weeks I was, but that wouldn’t help me in the slightest because I’d managed to sleep with not only one, but two of them in the same week. Thanksgiving was something I was looking forward to at first. Now, it was going to be a disaster, and I sighed thinking about my hopes of the future being shattered.

“Just remember, if you want me to come in, then no problem,” Mom shouted from the other side of the door. I had visions of her coming in and forcing me to pee.

God, Katie, just get it together. Mom’s trying to be helpful. She wants me to get it all over with before the guys get home.

“Here goes nothing!” I sighed as I opened the packet, read the instructions, and started to get to work. Who knew peeing would be so difficult when it has to be done with a pregnancy test. I thought about all the women, who like me, were dreading the thought of being pregnant.

Then again, what exactly was I doing with my life?

Rick was still paying me as if I was a nanny. I was supposed to be using this time to go and figure out what to do with my life, but I hadn’t been doing that. I’d just been enjoying living with Rick and the twins.

The pee started to trickle out, and I thought about what Mom said. How the heck do you know if it’s the beginning, middle, or end of the pee? After I held it for a little, then I put it in the middle of my legs, and it came pouring out. Trying to direct the damn test and hold my pee so it flowed uncontrollably was proving to be difficult, but I managed to do it in the end. I had more than enough to figure out what I already suspected.

I put the test on the floor, got up, and Mom was shouting again. “Are you sure you don’t need any help?”

I didn’t reply, but flushed the toilet, and proceeded to wash my hands and wipe them. I looked in the mirror, trying to see what Mom had said earlier. She was right, I looked different. I was glowing, my skin felt fresher, but I thought it was due to the new skin product I bought. They have been advertising it like crazy, and I felt like trying something new. My eyes stretched even further down to the shirt I was wearing, and my breasts looked as if they had a new lease on life. Pete had said only the other night he loved them so much, he’d never said that before and still nothing registered. I’d been too busy thinking about Mom coming to visit, worrying about her judging me, but she’d done the complete opposite—it was as if it was nothing to her. After wiping my hands, and then opening the door, I saw Mom sobbing while covering her eyes.

“Hey, Mom, what’s up?” I went to hug her. She was the same height as me, but she’d lost a little weight, and for some reason, felt a lot smaller.

“Now, I’m being the dramatic one. I just thought about your dad… I hadn’t thought about him in years, and if he was here. Him not being around to see his grandchild… I don’t know. I suppose I was just getting a little too sentimental.”

Dad.

Of course!

They say time heals grief, and I felt guilty for not thinking about him. I hadn’t done for a long time, not because he was a bad man. No, he was the best. It was just, it’d been so long ago, and for the longest while it’d been only Mom and I, then Ben came into my life and it’d been all about him. Dad. Hmm, what would he think about all this? Would he be happy? Or annoyed about me not doing anything for myself?

I shook my head at the idea of thinking badly about the dead. No, he would be proud and rooting me on for having the strength to leave Ben. Anything was better than staying with that pig.

“He would be proud of you, you know that, right?”

“Proud? Mom, I live with three guys. Well, not exactly. A couple of them have moved out. So, not really three.”

She chuckled. “Is that the only thing you see when you look at your life? You live with three guys?”

I tilted my head as she broke away from my arms and headed to the test, which was still on the floor. I was too nervous to look at it, let alone pick it up.

“Well, the guys were telling me about the way you look after the twins. The fact they were broken, and if it wasn’t for you, they don’t know where they would be.”

“Wait, so you knew I was with both of them before I told you?”

“Uh-ha!”

She bent down to pick up the pregnancy test, then she smiled as she said, “Looks like I’m going to be a granny.”

I sighed as I looked at the two lines, thinking she was right. I wasn’t so excited about being a mom. It was one thing being a nanny, that part was easy; it was a completely different story when it came to being a mom. One I knew nothing about, but had to learn quickly. My heart sank at the idea of telling the guys and them being disappointed with the idea of another child being in the penthouse.

***

Everyone was laughing and joking as the food came, and we were all dressed and ready to spend Thanksgiving together. I wished I hadn’t done the test, you know the big kid in me. The one who didn’t want to face anything and wanted to continue in the happily ever after—the vision I’d had of today in my head.

“Right, the table is set. The twins are ready, are we eating or what?” Aunt Elizabeth smiled as she stroked the arm of her boyfriend. Yes, it seemed as if everyone was happy in a relationship. I could be too, if I wasn’t so fucking nervous.

They spent a lot of money on a wooden round table from Western Heritage Furniture. Rick had a huge payout when he sold the club, and Pete, with his job, somehow they’d managed to have enough to live comfortably. No, for us all to live comfortably. I was impressed with the craftsmanship and details that went into the table. It spun and could seat up to seventeen people, Rick said it was better than a square table, because we could easily be seated and face each other. I didn’t think about it when no one sat there, but now with everyone taking their seats, I could see what he was talking about. A family event. Something I hadn’t been party to for a long time. Mom only arrived yesterday, and already they were making her feel like part of the family, too.

My hands were trembling as I held the potato salad with only one hand, not thinking about what I was doing, but more worried about telling Pete and Rick and their reaction to the news. I didn’t even know who the father was. What a mess. I shook the idea out and just focused on what I was thinking before everyone turned up, which was to have a nice Thanksgiving. I headed to the table, but for some reason, I wasn’t concentrating or my feet decided to do their own thing, and I nearly fell.

Fuck!

“Hey, it’s okay,” Mom whispered as she headed to my side to help me clear up the mess on the floor. I couldn’t believe it. I dropped the salad, one we couldn’t eat.

“The potato salad.”

Rick laughed. “Chill, there’s like two potato salads. I mean, one less plate, but we could all do with a diet.”

“Really, Rick! So, now I’m fat to you. You didn’t think it last night!” I barked with my hands on my hips. This is what Pete meant when he was holding my breasts; he wasn’t saying he loved it, more of a case of they’re so big.

“You know what, I don’t feel like eating, seeing as I’m so fat!”

With my parting words, I stormed off to my old room, but then I remembered it was Mom’s room, so I headed to the other side of the penthouse, wondering if someone was going to say something. All I could hear was Rachel bang something on her chair. She was hungry; Rachel seemed to have more of a temper the older she got. She had a nice side to her, a cute one. But when it came to sleeping and eating, she wasn’t a toddler to be messed with, not by any accounts.

As soon as I got to the room, I slammed the door behind me. I sat on the bed, waiting for someone to come.

Nothing.

No one.

No one called after me, no one even said anything, but then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was complaining about Rachel, but I’d made a fool of myself, a big fat fool. I couldn’t believe I’d acted so dramatically after what Rick had said. I was silly, but I was scared. This fairytale romance was going to come to an end, and I hated myself for letting it.

For the first time in a long time, I was happy and my carelessness was going to throw it all away. I didn’t know who to hate more. I slumped down on the bed and faced the ceiling. Rick had mirrors above his bed and looking down on me was my reflection. Not a pretty sight and I didn’t know who I hate more.

Myself.

Life.

Even God.

Everything about this scenario didn’t seem fair, and I wanted to turn my head and run out of the door, but as I faced the door, I saw all three of them standing and looking at me.

“Can we come in?” Stan asked with pleading eyes, as if he was too scared to come in. Both Pete and Rick were huddled behind him.

“Sure. This is Rick’s room.” I sighed as I avoided eye contact.

“It’s our room,” Rick said as he gently shut the door.

“This is too much for you, isn’t it, Katie?” Pete asked as he hovered near the bed. “The three of us being here, like this. Too much. Too soon.”

“You’re young, we get it. Now, there’s the three of us. You. The twins. It’s all too much,” Rick said as he went to the other side of me.

“Can we let her speak?”

I looked up, and it felt as if I was Goldilocks with three bears, but I wasn’t blonde, I didn’t think they were about to eat me up, and I was pregnant. I could see guilt written on all their faces, so I decided to just come out and say the reason I blew up like some crazy person in their face.

“I’m pregnant!”

Their mouths dropped, and I remembered how I felt when Mom said I was pregnant. I could see the reflection on their faces. Stan was the one who held out his hand, and his reaction surprised me. I expected him to be mad, but it was as if his time away had really changed him and made him into the man I wanted him to be.

“This is fantastic news. I mean, we did plan to ask you after the meal and everything, but I’m thinking this is the right time. What do you think, guys?” Stan asked, but his eyes were not focused on me, but on Rick instead.

“You were brought into this house to be a nanny, but we’ve all connected with you in some way and we don’t want to let you go. Well, I don’t anyway….” Rick began to weep. Rick. The dad of the three of them was really a gentle giant underneath it all.

He went down on one knee and said, “Will you, Katie Baldson, be my wife?”

I turned my head to both Pete and Stan, who were bright-eyed as Rick opened the box, and I saw the biggest diamond ring I’d ever seen.

I took back my hand and said, “But we don’t know who the daddy is?”

Pete laughed. “We don’t care. None of us will be uncles. We’ll all be daddys to our baby.”

I cupped my face, unable to take it all in, thinking it was all too much.

“So?” Rick asked as he wobbled on the floor. This is when I realized I wasn’t the only nervous one, but he was, too.

“Yes! Yes!” I screamed and with it, the door swung open. It seemed the whole family was waiting on the other side of the door. Everyone was cheering, and Rick’s lips enveloped mine, then he passed me to Stan, and then to Pete. Somewhere along the line, they’d decided I was to be shared, and they all wanted me in their lives.

I’d been questioning for months my place in life. It was as if at this moment, the question had been answered for me.

What would I do with my life?

I’ll be a wife.

A friend.

A lover.

And most importantly, the part which was the dearest to me… a mother not only to our unborn child, but the twins, too.