Chapter Twenty Six — Stan

I expected to get back home earlier than scheduled, but between being so nervous and eating one too many pies at diners and breaking my fucking diet, I ended up spending four hours on the road, and not two. I was so fucking excited about my news. I got the letter through the mail, I was in, and I felt like a child on Christmas Day as I saw the letter. I didn’t even have a Plan B, how messed up was that? I knew I had exactly four weeks before I had to officially start, so there was no time like the present to face the music. Besides, it was Thanksgiving weekend. I wanted to spend it not only with my brothers, but with the twins, too. It was crazy, when I lived here I hated them being around, because they got all the attention and everything was about them. Every single thing we would talk about the club and the conversation would always revert to them, and it was nuts. They were my niece and nephew and I was a grown man, but really wasn’t. In size I was big, but underneath it all, I was a small child dying to come out of my shell. Unwilling to accept all the challenges in which life threw out us as adults. I’d hidden behind Rick for too long. He replaced Dad once he died, and both Pete and I had let him.

I was sitting in the living room, wondering where everyone was. I text them all to say I was coming, and Pete said he was in town, too. Yet, he wasn’t here.

“Stan, is that you?”

It must have been Katie. I could hear her coming from behind. I thought no one was in, but then again, I never checked her room, just the twins and my brothers.

I stood while taking a deep breath. I knew what she was going to say the moment she saw me. I spun around, and as she froze in her steps, I could tell she was shocked. I couldn’t believe it was the same innocent Katie I’d left behind. She wore a yellow dress, and she wasn’t wearing a bra and part of me wondered if she did that because she wasn’t wearing one for my brothers’ benefit or because she was at home. Her erect nipples were on display through the thin cotton dress. My eyes danced up to meet her eyes, the same dark eyes, but no more with the darkness and sadness. If anything, they glowed under the light make-up she had on. Her hair was shorter, too. It was pinned losely on her head, but the few strands which were hanging out made me know no more was her hair down her back but more to her shoulders. It suited her, as well as the weight she’d put on. Ironically, it was as if she’d put on the weight in which I’d lost over the last few weeks.

She ran up to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, and it took me by surprise.

“We weren’t sure if you were coming. The guys told me to wait for you, but I went to the room and fell asleep. Even walking tires me out these days.” She was talking so fast, I didn’t get a chance to get a word in. “Sorry. I’m talking too much. Not sure why, but it seems to be a thing I’m doing these days.”

I nodded, trying to take in the new Katie. The one who smelled like strawberries, the one who wasn’t nervous around me. This new breath of fresh air Katie. The one I thought I had to stay away from, but couldn’t think of anything better than being with her all the time—even if it wasn’t an option with my new role.

“Don’t worry. I was nervous about coming back, too.”

She put her hand over her mouth. “Nervous? Why? This is your home. It’s not because of me, is it?”

Who could resist those big brown eyes.

“No. Just I didn’t leave under the best circumstances.”

“Oh shoot, no one cares about that. Everyone’s just happy you’re home, and once they see the weight you’ve lost, I’m sure they’ll be so proud of you, too. It’s like you were away for six months.”

“No. Only eight weeks,” I corrected her. And I realized no matter how much weight I lost, changed my clothes or even tried to be the average hot guy, that dorky, nerdy part of me would always be there and the biggest part of my transition was accepting the fact that it was me. This was me. Nothing wrong with being me, and I had to stop apologizing to myself and everyone else for it.

She laughed. “Well, it feels a lot longer.”

I shook my head, wishing she wouldn’t tease me. “Please, I made your life horrible and I must apologize for it. You shouldn’t even be talking to me.”

She motioned for us to sit down. It was clear we had to talk, but it was as if I was standing ready to make an escape as I’d done before. I was a different man now, a better one. I just had to start proving it, not to everyone else, but me. I could keep my emotions under check and not run away at the first sign of not getting my way.

“I did take the twins. Lie and pretend to be their nanny. I got in the way of a perfectly good nanny who was qualified to do the job. I wasn’t exactly a saint, either.” She sighed as she summed up all the things she’d done wrong, too.

I shook out my hand, seeing as we were not going to agree on who was the villain in this story, even though I was pretty sure it was me. She didn’t want me to take the rap for it, and I wanted to be a gentleman and allow her to accept my apology, and I knew she would in time. I just had to be patient.

“Truce?”

She dove in to hug me. I didn’t remember her being so touchy-feely before, but she seemed to be so much so as she held on to me.

“No matter what, they missed you for sure, and I felt like crap feeling like the person who had somehow brought friction into this home.”

I pulled away from her, thinking this was all wrong. I was the one who should be on my hands and knees begging for her forgiveness, not the other way around.

“Look, Katie, it’s all done. I mean, let’s just put it in the past. I’ve got over it. I just want you to do the same.”

“Sure, I don’t know why I feel like this. I suppose cause the guys went to the airport to pickup Mom.”

Oh, so that explains why they were not here, but not why she didn’t go with them. Maybe it was the way I was looking at her, but she could sense I was thinking about why she was here.

“I didn’t feel well, so I stayed here. I’m not sure why. Think I ate something funny or something. I’ve been feeling funny all day.”

I stroked her chin and she looked at me, then we were locked in a gaze. I didn’t hide away or try to deny my feelings for her. They were as plain as day before I left, and hadn’t changed since I came back.

I didn’t drag her face back or try to force her to kiss me as much as I was dying to do it right now. I took in her face, while gently working my fingers up her arm. Then, my hand moved up to release her bun. I wanted to see her hair loose, I remember before I left I used to love it when her hair bounced off her back. I pulled back a moment to ensure this is what she’d wanted, what I’d craved for so long, but had been too scared to do it.

Her dark eyes smoldered, her lips were soft as I kissed her once again, beckoning for her to come back and sample me deeper. I wanted more, but I knew as I held on to her that there was a time and place for everything. I’d just come back, and already I had her in my arms.

She smiled at me as I released her.

“I was hoping you felt the same way about me still. I thought maybe there was someone else,” she whispered as if she was trying to gain consciousness. My cock started to grow to its full length. I could have taken her on the sofa, but then I knew any moment not only could my brothers walk in but her mom, too.

“No one. I haven’t stopped thinking about you.”

She was about to say something else, but then the elevator doors chimed and I knew this conversation would have to be continued another time. I had to be brave, even if my heart was pounding out of control and my cock was telling me to take her in my arms and finish what I started.

We both jumped up red-faced as the sound of footsteps entered the penthouse. There was laughter and cheers, as both Pete and Rick approached me. There were tears of joy as the other lady beside them, who was clearly Katie’s mom, an older reflection of her daughter, ran to the other side of them into Katie’s loving arms.

“I was so worried when I didn’t see you at the airport. The guys told me you were sick. You alright?” her mom asked.

“Damn, man! You’re a sight for sore eyes!” Pete said as he wrapped his arms around me. “Damn, I’ve missed you.”

Was he crying? Pete? Nah, the same guy who used to tell me as a kid, big boys don’t cry. He was letting his emotions all out as he kept holding me, practically squeezing me tight.

“Shit, where did you leave the other half of our brother? You’ve lost weight, man! Tons!” Rick said as he patted me on the back from behind. It was clear they had changed. I was expecting to come back and there being a storm, but it was the opposite. They were happy to see me. Just like Greg said they would be, and I felt like a fool for being away for too long.

“Fuck, Pete, put me down!” I barked as I started choking, as if he squeezed me any tighter, then I would be choked to death.

“Sorry, man. I’m such a wuss.”

“Hormones!” Rick joked, and it was then I noticed Katie and her mom were no longer by our side. Maybe they went to her room? Either way, it was good to catch up with my brothers for a little while.

After I finished coughing—yeah, I exaggerated it slightly after Pete released me from a killer of a hug.

Rick laughed. “Yeah, you were always the drama queen.”

Knowing my antics a little too well, I couldn’t deny that I was dramatizing the whole situation, but I couldn’t help it. As I saw Pete wipe what felt like tears of joy or probably sadness, either way, I couldn’t believe not only had the penthouse changed, but they had, too.

“What happened to this place?” I pointed to the tree, one we never put up for Thanksgiving, and quarreled about putting up for Christmas. The sofa, which was black and had no cushions, was replaced with a brown leather one, with cushions and there were so many pictures up on the wall, mainly of the twins and a few with Katie. Beanbags, a little play area, and everything which made this place no longer seem like a bachelor pad, but I could see some familiar colors and furnishings like the red, earthly rug, which was in our old home—something I thought was thrown out.

“Rachel’s getting ready to run the next marathon. The twins are more active. They have kids from their playgroup and sometimes they go to their houses and it’s all about the kids, you know. So, we had to make it feel more like a family home, not only for them but for us, too,” Rick explained.

I figured, but I never pictured Rick being a full-time dad, but as he spoke and explained about the changes which had been made, he told me about selling the club and just being a dad. I wanted to ask him why Katie was still here if he was a hands-on dad.

It didn’t matter. I had a few days, and I had news of my own. It was clear as Pete told me about his changes, that not only had I officially left the nest but he did, too. He was excited about his project and couldn’t wait for me to visit him, which would be difficult because I had news of my own. I had to share it with them, I felt as if I was going to explode.

“I’ve joined the police academy, and I’ve been a mess man. Not like before, but the idea of wanting something so bad and not knowing if you’ve been accepted and shit. Now, I just have to join and pass!”

They both stood, with their eyes wide open, as if they couldn’t believe the news.

“Hell, yes!” Pete said as he high-fived me.

“If it’s what you want, then I’m happy for you, man,” Rick said as he hesitated, but gave me a man-hug.

“I didn’t know what I wanted, but then as I left and spent time with Greg and his family, I soon realized I’d been a SEAL to help others. Not like police help others, but to serve the country, but it was something I felt comfortable doing. When we left, I was lost. And Rick, you did great. I mean, you looked out for us. But there was no one looking out for you until the twins came along, and your priorities shifted. Once again, I felt lost. I don’t feel that way anymore. For the first time in since forever, I feel focused.”

“Our little brother’s finally grown up,” Pete said, and he clapped not as if he was mocking me, but congratulating me for the changes I was making in my life. Even the words escaping my mouth surprised me. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had a conversation with them. I mean, it would be by text or I would avoid all types of confrontations with them. I was proud of myself in so many ways, sure I’d called Pete a couple of times. The conversation would be short, but I knew I was moving in the right direction.

“Are we going to stand here all day like a bunch of pussies, or are we going to go out and have a drink?” Pete asked, and immediately, Rick’s eyes darted to the clock. He was most likely thinking it was a little too early to start drinking.

“What about Katie and her mom?”

Rick waved his hand, as if to dismiss this idea of staying here. “They have a lot to catch up on. I’ll send Katie a text and tell her that we’re heading out. Don’t worry about it. We’ll go to the Dublin’s Irish Whiskey Pub.”

“Fuck! We haven’t been there in like forever.”

Pete laughed as we headed to the elevator. “Little bro, we’ve been going there in your honor. I was worried you wouldn’t show up. This is really a Thanksgiving to remember.”

“I’ll say. Tomorrow, Aunt Elizabeth is coming with the twins. Home Restaurant’s making a delivery of the food, so no one’s cooking and we can sit, eat too much, and catch up before everyone heads off their own way.” Rick sighed as if he was sad about the departure before it was taking place.

“San Diego’s not far, neither is San Fran, so we can all keep in touch and visit each other.”

“We need to keep tight and not drift apart like we’d done over the last few months,” Pete agreed. We waited for the elevator and everyone wanted to know my secret diet. I smiled at the good old times, when my brothers and I were like this—friends and happy to be in each other’s company. No more did I think about the past and how our relationship had broken down, but only the future. I’d hesitantly put my things in my old room, I remembered opening the door and expecting it to be turned into a storage closet or something. For some reason, no matter how many times Greg or anyone else told me, they are my brothers and they love me. I just didn’t believe them because I’d forgotten about the way we used to be before we joined the marines. It was clear leaving did us good, the stint of having PTSD and being dismissed had put us into a darkness—one which I didn’t realize how deep we’d gone until I left and finally saw the light.

I realized the light wasn’t just shining on me, but on all of us. Rick was so uptight, he would never grow a beard or even have long hair. Here he was, with his hair hanging by the sides and flicking it. As for Pete, he was clean-shaven as always, and I was somewhere in between. We were triplets at heart, but one thing for sure, we all looked different on the outside. Moving was the best thing I did for all of us. I felt proud about doing it, even if at the time I felt like a little boy scared to act like a man for once in my life.