Chapter 36

"How did you get my number, David?" I heard him sigh on the other end of the line. "Come in!"

"Sarah, please..." I hung up, I was sick of this situation. I was sick of him.

After that damn call, I left the guest room the way I was and went into the kitchen to raid Ben's fridge, the bastard was slumped on the sofa watching some basketball game with his shirt off and drinking like an old car.

"Hey, redhead, bring me another one!"

I grabbed the iron basket on the counter and filled it with bottles before using the other sofa he had in the living room.

"Shitty day?" He asked Already knowing the answer, I opened one of the bottles and passed it to him before opening one for myself and dumping myself on the sofa too. "Hey, hey, hey, we agreed, no see-through top, Sarah, do you want to fuck with my mind?"

I turned the bottle over and flashed my middle finger, Ben laughed and went back to watching the game. I finished the first one and opened the second one, Ben looked at me suspiciously and I just shrugged.

"Changing numbers was a waste of time."

"Shit."

"É." I sighed tiredly "Any trace of Michael?"

"No, he's gone or is very well hidden at the moment. But if he makes a move I'll know and then I'll be able to find out if it was him who sent that bizarre hand to you."

We talked some more until the beers ran out and I decided to go to bed. Ben walked me to the bedroom door and I knew he was worried, the tension in his shoulders and his incisive gaze on me showed it. But I was fine.

"Are you okay? We can talk about it if you want." Ben wasn't the kind of guy to sit on the floor and cry about his problems, but the fact that he was willing to feel me out warmed my heart.

"I'm fine... I..." I was slightly drunk and he was so close that I had to look up just to meet his brown eyes, although that wasn't the problem.

Doing the whole sweatpants and shirtless chest thing in my slightly dim-witted state was proving to be a difficult job and Ben was too smart not to realize it.

"No, Sarah." He said softly and moved closer to place a kiss on the top of my head, I blushed like an idiot and he lifted my face to do the same on my cheek. "I'm only going to do this to you when you're sober, so you're allowed to come into my room and take out all your frustration on me, for now, you need to rest. Have a good night, redhead."

I didn't answer, I closed my eyes in shame, falling into a hole would have been less painful than that. I didn't say anything, I didn't mention or even hint that I wanted something, but Ben knew and I blamed myself for wanting to do something with him, even though David still dominated my every thought.

Taking out my frustrations...

That's what Ben said before leaving me in the room, I wanted to kill my curiosity and take that courage I didn't have. To go into Ben's room and vent everything I was feeling...

I shook my head at the thought, I couldn't do that, use him like a slut. I didn't do that kind of thing and he didn't deserve it.

I spent some time sitting on the foot of the bed looking at the door, feeling the dizziness from the alcohol slowly wear off, should I go there? I shook my head again and threw my body back, I should go to sleep and think about how to find the courage to go back to the hospital, find a way not to be disturbed by the phone again. But from everything I'd been through with David, I was sure that changing the number again wouldn't do any good.

I huffed and puffed, unhappy with the whole situation he had created and it filled me with an overwhelming rage.

I got out of bed and tried not to think about anything else as I walked silently to the next room. I wasn't drunk, not even at the time Ben took me to the bedroom. But I was altered, feeling a slight dizziness throw me off balance at times.

My face boiled as my fingers gripped the doorknob, a mixture of confusing sensations taking me over as I stared at the closed door. But maybe he wanted it just as much as I did at that moment.

Just to vent his anger, his fear, to allow himself to feel something other than doubt and damn uncertainty. Maybe we both felt that way, Mike brought us fear and David left me lost and full of uncertainty.

I opened the door.

Ben was sitting, leaning his back on the headboard while reading some book that I couldn't identify because of the low light from the lamp. He didn't say anything, just looked at me slowly and I could see the shadow of a smile at the corner of his lips. I definitely shouldn't be doing this.

I carefully closed the door behind me and leaned my body against it, observing the whole ensemble before my eyes. The bed with its softly crumpled covers, the yellowish light, Ben moving only his eyes as he switched back and forth between the book and me.

Shit.

Ben was an incredibly handsome man; he had slightly slanted eyes and dark hair, much more than Mike and considerably taller than him, but maybe he wasn't for me. However, I wanted to test it out and see what was and wasn't available for me to use. As he had told me a few hours earlier, to vent my frustrations.