Chapter 79 Do you want me to call your family in? Or your boyfriend?
Ryan
A few days went by, and Saraphina still did not open her eyes. They took her out of intensive care and into a regular room, which meant people could finally visit. Cole showed up every single day, and I made a point of never leaving when he was there. It was getting pretty sad. He would sit there, stroking her hair and kissing her forehead right in front of me, just to get under my skin. And you know what? It fucking worked.
My dad and Louisa were practically camped out here too. I never got a minute alone with her. So the hour between seven and eight at night became my favorite time. That’s when they’d go downstairs to get something to eat, and I could finally just be with her.
I wasn’t doing anything wrong, I promise. It wasn’t like we could talk. She was just sleeping. I don’t mean to be strange about it, but I liked watching her. I liked talking to her, even if she couldn’t hear a word. I really needed her to wake up. There was so much I had to say to her face.
So there I was, at seven-thirty, alone in that chair by her bed. My hand moved on its own to touch her face. My fingers traced the soft, pale line of her cheek. One brushed against her lower lip, and I had to stop myself.
I wanted to kiss her so badly. But I wanted her eyes to be open when I finally did.
I sat back and tried to get comfortable. Then I pulled out what I’d been reading to her—the letters I wrote this past year. All my ‘Letters to S.’
“Dear S,” I began, smiling down at her, hoping somehow she could hear me. “Today is Sunday. Do you remember that Sunday, the day we met? You and I were complete opposites. Anyone could see we were a bad idea from the start. But S, you are everything I want, because you’re everything I’m not. And with some pretty words and a little fireworks magic, you met me in the middle. I swear, the second you decided to step toward me that Fourth of July, you changed my whole life. Even with all my flaws, you took a chance on me anyway. How did I ever get that lucky?”
I stopped, watching her face for any sign. There was nothing. So I kept going.
“And since we’re talking about Sundays… remember that one in late July? I climbed into your room at night so we could be together, and then your mom knocked. I panicked and jumped out the window. Twisted my ankle. Couldn’t surf for a week. Worth it, though.” I laughed quietly, pausing. “The only time falling ever felt good was when I fell for you. Fast and hard. So I guess what I’m saying is… my best days were Sundays with you. I just thought you should know. Love always, Ryan.”
The moment I finished, I heard the sound of someone clapping from the doorway.
“Well, wasn’t that sweet?” I turned and saw Cole leaning against the frame.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, not bothering to hide my annoyance.
“Seeing my girlfriend,” he said, that smug look on his face as he walked to the other side of Saraphina’s bed. He bent down and pressed a long kiss to her forehead. My whole body went stiff.
“Visiting hours ended a while ago, pal,” I said, my teeth pressed together.
“I could say the same to you.”
“Are we seriously doing this right now?”
“I saw Louisa and your dad heading out. Can’t leave you here all alone with my girlfriend,” he said, stressing those last two words like a weapon.
“Don’t get too comfortable. That might change when she wakes up,” I said, tilting my head, mocking him.
A slow smile spread across his face. “Come on, Ryan. We both know how this ends. And it’s not good for you.”
“Oh yeah? Explain it to me.”
“She’s going to pick me,” he stated, like it was a simple fact.
“And why is that?”
“Let me ask you something. What’s your plan when she opens her eyes? Tell her you’re madly in love? Beg her to run away with you? We’ve already done that dance.”
“Things are different now. Our families know. We don’t have to hide.”
“Great. So no more sneaking around like teenagers. Then what? You really think you can make her happy? What kind of life is that? One where she leaves everything behind to follow you across the world?”
“No. I wouldn’t ask her to do anything she didn’t want. I’d stay here if I had to.”
“And do what?”
“Anything. I don’t care.”
“But you do. You couldn’t give up your whole life to stay here. Giving up surfing? You’d blame her for it eventually. And she couldn’t give up her life here to wander around with you, either.”
Damn it. This bastard actually had a point.
He saw it hit me. He shook his head, that winning smile stuck on his face. “You’re not kids on a summer trip anymore, Ryan. This isn’t some holiday. Look at the truth. You can’t give her the life she deserves. You’re all over the place. Is that how Saraphina is supposed to live?”
Saraphina
I was just walking. I had been for a while. The last real thing I remembered was running out of my apartment, trying to get to the airport. I was crossing the street, and then there were headlights coming right at me. After that, everything went black.
When I opened my eyes again, I was in the woods. Nothing but tall green trees everywhere, and a path of old stone under my feet.
“This has to be a dream,” I thought.
I didn’t understand what was happening. I just wanted to go home. So I started walking straight ahead on the path. No one else was around. I just walked and walked, until the path split in two.
Do I go right, or left?
One path was clean, lined with flowers, leading up toward green hills in the distance. The other was rough, crowded with wild, thorny plants, leading down into somewhere I couldn’t see.
I was definitely not in New York anymore. How did I get here? How do I get back?
“Beautiful, isn’t it?” a voice said.
I turned. A middle-aged man with a white beard was sitting in a wooden chair in a treehouse. He wore a pink polo shirt and shorts, and he was strumming a ukulele. I was sure he hadn’t been there before.
“Who are you?” I asked.
“You should know. You’ve talked about me a lot,” he said, playing a cheerful little tune.
“I’m sorry?”
“Aren’t you going to keep walking?”
“I… don’t know which way to go. I want to go home.”
“Then pick a road and start.”
“But which one? I don’t know the right way.”
“Ah, that’s the secret. There is no right way. Any path you choose will take you home.”
Okay… this is one crazy dream.
“This isn’t real, right?” I said, mostly to myself. “I’m dreaming. This place can’t be real. You’re not real… wait, am I dead?”
“Not exactly,” he answered.
“Is this a dream?”
“Not really.”
“What? Am I… seeing things?”
“Could be. They gave you a lot of pain medicine.”
“Huh?”
“Huh, what?”
“You’re not making any sense. Can you please tell me where—”
“Where am I? Who am I? Why am I here?” he cut me off, rolling his eyes. “You young people and your big questions.”
“Excuse me?”
“Alright, let’s keep it simple. You need to go home, so go.”
“That’s what I’m trying to do! Just tell me which way.”
“I can’t tell you that. You already know where you want to go.”
“But I don’t.”
“You do.”
He was stubborn, waving his fingers for me to turn around. I sighed and looked back at the two paths.
Wait. Now that I looked again… it actually seemed clear which way I should take.
“Sometimes the most dangerous thing you can do with your heart is to play it safe,” he said suddenly.
What does that mean?
When I turned to ask him, he was gone. The man had vanished.
Okay, that was seriously creepy. I was stuck in some weird version of Alice in Wonderland.
I guess I just had to keep moving. I took a deep breath and stepped onto one of the paths.
The second my foot touched the stone, everything fell apart. The world crumbled, and I was pulled down into a deep, endless dark.
I tried to scream, but no sound came out. I was tumbling, grabbing at nothing, falling and falling until..
My eyes flew open. I was lying in a bed. A harsh white light was above me, and below it were the shapes of two people.
Wait. It’s Cole… and… Ryan!
I couldn’t hear anything, but their mouths were moving, talking to each other. Then, at the same time, they both turned and looked right at me. Their eyes got huge.
“Saraphina!” they both shouted.
What in the world is going on? How is this possible? Where am I? Is this another dream?
They were both saying my name, trying to get me to look at them. A hundred questions crashed in my head. I was still putting the pieces together when my mind just went empty. I could only stare, unable to say a word.
Slowly, it came to me. I was in a hospital. And I think I was having a panic attack, because the machine next to me started beeping like crazy.
A nurse rushed in and told them both to leave. They didn’t want to, but she insisted. Once they were gone, she came over and shined a light in my eyes, making me look away.
“Hi, Saraphina. Welcome back,” she said, sounding tired but happy.
Back? Was I gone?
I tried to remember. The bright lights. Then the darkness. And then… just pain. So much pain it hurt to even think about it. My sight got blurry, so I closed my eyes and let my mind go quiet.
“You were in a car accident,” the nurse said, her voice calm. “You’re alright now. You might hurt for a bit, so try not to move too much. Just rest.”
With all the strength I had, I nodded a little.
“Do you want me to call your family in? Or your boyfriend?”
My what? Family… boyfriend… Oh, they’re all here.
Oh my god.