Chapter 77 Tears rolled down her tired face
NEW YORK CITY
Ryan
The second we got to the hospital, we went right to find Saraphina’s room. My heart was beating so hard I thought it might break out of my chest. Walking down the hall, I saw Cole and some girl with red hair talking to a nurse.
“I am sorry, but Ms. Livingston is still in the ICU. Only family can see her right now,” the nurse was telling them.
“We are her family,” I said, pointing between my father and me.
Cole’s head snapped up when he saw me. He was staring right at me, and he did not look happy about it.
“Alright, you two can follow me,” the nurse said, nodding at Dad and me.
We followed her to the ICU room, leaving Cole and the girl behind. She opened the door, and I saw Louisa standing by the bed. And on the bed… there she was. My angel.
She looked so pale and small. So thin. Her eyes were closed, and her chest moved up and down so slowly it hurt to watch. Seeing her like this broke something inside me. But even now, she was still the most beautiful thing I had ever seen.
“How is she?” my father asked.
“They said she was lucky,” Louisa answered, wiping at her eyes. “A few broken bones, a mild concussion. But she lost a lot of blood. The surgery went well… She is stable for now. They are just watching her closely.” Louisa’s voice was rough from crying. Dad walked over and put his arms around her.
I could not even think about the pain Saraphina must have felt. I wanted to pull her into my arms and never let go, but I held myself back. Instead, I took her hand, letting my fingers close gently around hers. I saw a bandage wrapped around her wrist.
“Hi, you,” I said inside my head.
I bent down and kissed the top of her head. I wanted nothing more than for her to open her eyes and look at me. Louisa noticed what I did and cleared her throat.
“Clement, can I speak with Ryan for a moment, please?” she asked quietly.
“Of course,” Dad said. He gave me a look before walking out.
I was still holding Saraphina’s hand. Louisa stood on the other side of the bed. She let out a long breath and started moving back and forth, like she was too anxious to stand still.
“I am so sorry about what happened,” I began.
“I do not think you should be here, Ryan,” she said, stopping her pacing.
“What?”
“The doctor said her body is stable, but she is not waking up. They think it could be because of stress,” she continued.
Louisa took a step closer to the bed. She lifted Saraphina’s other arm gently and turned it over.
And then I saw them.
The lines. Old and new, marking her skin. Louisa’s hands trembled as she placed Saraphina’s arm down and reached for the hand I was holding. I let go. Slowly, Louisa unwrapped the bandage on Saraphina’s wrist.
There was my initial. RY. And right through the middle of it, one deep, angry mark.
My breath left me all at once. I could not believe what I was seeing.
“I have known about the two of you since that summer four years ago. I asked her about it,” Louisa said.
“What?” My eyes jumped from the mark to her face.
“She begged me not to tell you or Clement. She said she would end it. I thought… I thought it was just a game. A summer thing kids do. So I let it go. After she left Hawaii, she told me she had moved on. I believed her. I thought she was fine.”
Louisa took a shaky breath. “She seemed fine. But I guess… she was not.” Tears rolled down her tired face.
I tried to speak, but no words came. My eyes went back to that tattoo, to the scar cutting through it. It felt like a punch to my gut.
Louisa knew. All this time, she knew. That was why Saraphina left me. I had thought she was being selfish. I thought she did not love me at all.
But she did.
And I thought leaving her was the right choice. I thought she would be better off without me. If I had known it would lead to this… I never would have walked away.
“She really loved you. She must have. She went this far… just trying to forget you,” Louisa said, her voice breaking. “So I do not know, Ryan. I do not know what you being here will do to her. You are the reason for her pain. I am scared for her. I do not want her to hurt anymore.” She looked at me, her eyes full of doubt.
I reached for Louisa’s hand, so I was holding hers and Saraphina’s together.
“Louisa, I am so sorry. For all of it. But I love her. I love your daughter more than anything. I love her with everything I am. I need to fix this. Please, just let me try,” I said. I prayed she could see how true it was.
“I do not know, Ryan…” She shook her head.
“If she wakes up and tells me to leave, I will go. But please… do not make that choice for her. Let her decide.”