Chapter 63 A lazy Thursday evening.
"Sshh!" Someone nearby hissed. I guess Ryan's language bothered them in church. We shifted in our seats, and then Ryan stood, holding his hand out to me.
"If God is love, then you're my religion," he said quietly.
I took his hand and he led me outside. I thought about pulling away once we were on the steps, but he held on, his grip strong and sure.
"People might not get it. Clement, Louisa, your friends, mine… they do not know what we know. They can not see what we see. But we know. So here's what I'm saying… do not fight against me. Fight with me. Let's take on the whole damn world together. Maybe one day they'll forgive us. Maybe they'll accept us. Maybe they won't. But let's find out. Together." He was smiling as he lifted our joined hands between us.
"That's… completely crazy, Ryan," I said, shaking my head.
"Crazy? You want to go crazy?" A playful light came into his eyes. He let go of my hand, skipped over to a lamppost, and spun around it, dancing like he was in some old movie. Then, incredibly, he started to sing.
"I can show you the world, shining, shimmering, splendid. Tell me, princess, now when did you last let your heart decide?"
I burst out laughing so hard I had to hold my sides. I could not believe he was singing Aladdin to me in the middle of Fifth Avenue. People walking by stared, some whistled, a few even clapped. Ryan gave a little bow, laughing with them. Then he came back to me.
"Come with me," he said, taking my face in his hands again. "This time it will be different. This time, we hold nothing back." He said it like he could read my every doubt.
"Ryan, it just… it sounds too good to be real," I said, biting my lip to keep from smiling too wide.
"You are so fucking depressing, you know that?" he said with a smirk.
"And you are one crazy motherfucker, you know that?" I could only shake my head.
"Thank God you love my crazy ass," he winked, and I shoved his shoulder.
It was true. We both knew it.
We laughed for what felt like forever. This was insane. We were insane. We started walking with no destination, not caring at all. I had forgotten how alive and exciting everything felt when I was with him.
"So…" he said after a while.
"So?"
"What do you say?" He was biting his lip, his hands fidgeting in his pockets. He was nervous.
"Ryan, I do not know if you've really thought this through. Love? Seriously? Love is… unpredictable. What if we do this and then one day we just… fall out of love? What if it fades? What if we break up? What happens then?" I was stumbling over my words, and Ryan just watched me, his head tilted like I was a funny puzzle.
"I think you're mixing up love and feelings," he said, smiling gently. "Love, to me, is an action. It's a choice you make, beyond any feeling, and sometimes even when the feelings are hard. And you know who taught me that?"
"Who?"
"You did," he said, pausing. "Because when you left three years ago, you chose what you thought was best for me. You did it even though it hurt you. I was too wrapped up in my own anger then. I should have chased you. I should have fought harder. That's why I'm here now. Fighting with everything I have."
Ryan reached for my face again, but I stepped back. He let out a long breath.
"Look, I know this seems impossible. It seems crazy. But remember the first day we met? You told me you wanted to believe in love," he said, talking about the argument over my purity ring.
"Yeah, and you said that kind of love didn't exist. You said I was looking for a unicorn."
"Well, baby, I'm your unicorn. Did you see me back there? I just did the most cringeworthy prince charming routine ever," he scoffed, and I couldn't help but laugh.
As I looked into his eyes, a whole flood of memories rushed over me. I remembered him taking me to that hidden beach for the first time. We just lay on the sand, looking at the stars, and it was the most amazing thing I'd ever done.
"Hey. Have a little faith. Have some faith in us," he said, reaching for me again. This time, I let him.
I once heard that eyes are windows to the soul. I never understood it until now. Because looking into his, I was struck by a sudden, deep certainty. I can not explain it, a gut feeling, an instinct, but I knew, without a doubt, what my answer was.
This thing, love, was bigger than both of us. And if I pictured the best possible future I could ever want, it was just being in love with Ryan, anywhere.
My lips curved into a smile as I hopped back a few steps from him.
"I just hope they have really good milkshakes," I said, pausing for effect. "Wherever it is we're going next."
For a moment, Ryan didn't move. I saw it in his eyes, it was like he'd been struck right in the heart. When it finally hit him, his face broke into the widest, brightest smile.
"Are you saying what I think you're saying?"
I gave a shy nod. "I'm sold."
"Come here, you," he said, opening his arms.
"Come and get me," I teased, raising an eyebrow before I turned and ran.
Ryan took off after me. He caught up in seconds, wrapping his arms around me, pulling me into his warmth and his laughter.
"Got you!" he said, his voice full of joy as he lifted me off my feet and spun me around.
If we were in a movie, this is where the loud, happy music would start. We looked at each other with wild, matching grins. He held his hand out. I took it. And just like that, we were running through the streets of New York City without a single care. We didn't know where we were going. But we had each other, and for now, that was everything.
Two completely crazy kids. We were two crazy, smiling kids.
COLE
It was a normal day. A lazy Thursday evening.
I was walking down the street, an iced coffee in one hand and the leash of my English bulldog, Duke, in the other. It was our usual walk, and I wasn't really paying attention to anything around me. Not until I heard a loud, clear voice singing from across the street.
"We could have it all, every brilliant, beautiful piece of this world. But first, tell me this: when was the last time you truly let your own heart choose for you?"
New York is full of strange characters. This kind of thing usually doesn't even make me look up. I once saw a guy organize a whole flash mob in a subway station to propose. This was probably just another performance.
My eyes drifted over the small crowd that had gathered around the couple. But when I saw the singer, and the girl he was singing to, I stopped dead. My whole body went still. My eyes opened wide.
Wait… what?