Chapter 29 Chapter twenty-nine
The moment the heavy doors closed behind me, I pressed a hand against my chest. My heart hurt in a way that felt physical, as though every beat was tearing something apart inside me.
I walked down the corridor aimlessly, my eyes stinging. I didn’t want anyone to see me cry. Not after all the strength I’d pretended to have. But the tears burned anyway, falling before I could stop them.
I hated myself for it, for caring, for wanting him still after everything. For feeling like I had lost something that was never mine to begin with
I reached the balcony overlooking the courtyard. The night air was cold, crisp, and unforgiving. The stars glittered above like distant witnesses to my weakness. I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to still the tremor in my body.
“Get it together, Ellie,” I whispered. “You chose your path. You made your choice.”
But the words sounded hollow. Because deep down, I knew the truth, I had never stopped loving him. No matter how I tried to bury it beneath duty, beneath my bond with Claus, beneath the new life growing inside me… Sylvia had never left my heart.
And now he belonged to someone else.
A cruel irony, really. The moment I realized I loved him was the same moment he stopped being mine.
I stayed there for a long time, the cool night air chilling my skin, until the sound of laughter drifted faintly from the hall again. Julian’s laugh. Soft and musical. Sylvia’s low voice followed, deep and warm. I closed my eyes, the sound cutting through me.
Maybe it was better this way. Maybe he deserved someone unburdened, someone who hadn’t broken him the way I did.
Still… the ache refused to fade.
The night felt heavy, like it was leaning on me. Somewhere in the distance, water trickled in the fountain. The wind stirred, carrying the faint scent of roses and wine.
I hear a faint humming behind me, it grows louder as it come closer.
I lifted my head, and that’s when I saw him.
Roger.
He stepped out from behind the trellis like he’d been waiting for the cue. The moonlight hit half his face, and for a moment he looked carved from shadow, half-smile, half-sneer.
“Well, well,” he said, voice slick as oil. “Didn’t expect to find you out here.”
I straightened, every muscle tightening. “What do you want?”
He laughed, low and lazy, like he had all the time in the world. “Nothing much. Just thought it was interesting, seeing you storm out like that. Couldn’t stomach it, could you?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Oh, sure you do.” He took a step closer, and I caught the faint glint of something in his eyes, amusement, maybe cruelty. “Sylvia and Julian. Quite the pair, aren’t they? Everyone’s talking about how good they look together. But you…” His gaze dragged over me. “You didn’t seem too excited.”
“Stop.” The word came out sharper than I meant.
He tilted his head, pretending to think. “Why should I? It’s not every day you see someone crumble over something that’s not supposed to bother them.”
“Roger, I’m warning you...”
“Warning me?” He laughed outright this time. “Oh, that’s rich. What are you going to do? Run to Claus?” He leaned in, breath hot and sour with wine. “Go ahead. Tell him. Tell him how much it hurts to watch Sylvia with someone else. Let’s see how you explain why it bothers you so much.”
I felt my pulse slam against my throat. Rage, shame, grief, they all tangled together until I couldn’t tell one from the other. “You don’t know anything,” I snapped. “You think you can just...”
“Oh, but I do know,” he cut in, his smile widening. “I’ve seen the way you look at him. Like he’s sunlight and you’re starving for warmth. Pathetic, really.”
My hands trembled. I wanted to slap him, to scream, to make him stop saying the things I tried so hard not to think about.
He circled me like a bee, voice lowering to a mock whisper. “Julian’s got that effortless charm, doesn’t she? The kind that drives people crazy without even trying. And Sylvia, God, the way he looks at her. You saw it, didn’t you? That spark?”
“Shut up,” I said through my teeth.
Roger only grinned. “You think Sylvia’s still thinking about you? You think he misses you? She’s probably with Julian right now, his hand on her knee, that laugh..”
“Stop it!” I shouted. The sound tore out of me, raw and ugly, echoing through the garden.
He smiled like I’d just confirmed everything. “There it is,” he murmured. “The truth.”
I stood so fast the bench scraped the stone path. My whole body was shaking now, fury and humiliation and heartbreak bleeding together until it felt like I might split open from it. “If you say one more word...”
“What then?” he interrupted, stepping closer again, eyes glittering. “You’ll hit me? Or maybe you’ll cry? Oh wait, no, you’ll run to Claus, won’t you? Let him handle your mess, as usual.”
The mention of Claus made something twist inside me. “You’re disgusting,” I said quietly.
“Maybe.” Roger’s grin spread slow and deliberate, cruel in its confidence. “But you know what’s even better? I don’t have to tell Claus. I could just let it slip.”
I blinked. “Let what slip?”
He leaned in until I could smell the bitter sting of alcohol on his breath. “That little thing you’re hiding. The reason you can’t stand seeing Sylvia with anyone else. Maybe I’ll tell him myself.”
I felt my stomach drop.
Before I could speak and even think, another voice cut through the air.
“Tell me what?”
Roger froze. I turned around so fast my breath caught.
Claus was standing at the edge of the path, half in shadow, half in moonlight. His expression was unreadable, calm, but with that edge that meant he’d heard enough.
My heart stopped.