Chapter 28 Chapter twenty-eight
I heard the court ladies talking about the woman who arrived this morning was Sylvia’s new mate, I couldn’t breathe for a few seconds.
Sylvia’s mate.
Those words spun through my mind, echoing, repeating, stabbing. I tried to keep my expression still, but the tremor that ran through me betrayed everything. My body trembled so violently. The heat that flushed through me wasn’t anger not exactly. It was something heavier, deeper, like fire and ice clashing in my chest.
I told myself I shouldn’t care. That I had Claus, that I was carrying his child, that my life was different now. But it didn’t stop the ache that twisted inside me. My stomach churned as if my body itself rejected the truth.
That mornings, Claus watched me with eyes that saw too much. I expected his usual frown, that silent disapproval whenever Sylvia’s name surfaced, but instead, there was a strange calm in his gaze. Relief, even. I didn’t know whether to hate him for it or envy him for finding peace in a moment that broke me open.
That evening, the pack gathered in the hall for dinner. I walked in beside Claus, my arm resting in his, my heart somewhere else entirely. The table was long, lit with soft candles and warm chatter, but I could barely hear any of it. My mind was consumed by one question, what kind of woman could claim Sylvia’s heart when I never could?
And then I saw her.
Julian.
She was breathtaking. Her beauty wasn’t loud or showy, but graceful in a way that drew every gaze. Her movements were fluid, her smiles deliberate, her confidence quiet but undeniable. She stood beside Sylvia as though she had always belonged there, one hand curled possessively around his arm.
My chest tightened painfully. The sight made something primal twist inside me, a mix of envy and grief I didn’t know how to name.
Sylvia’s eyes flicked toward me once, only briefly, but it was enough to make my breath catch. He looked… composed. Not the man I used to know, not the one who’d once looked at me like I was the air he needed to survive. His expression was serene, polite and unreadable.
Julian’s hand brushed his as she laughed softly at something Claus said. My stomach lurched. The delicate way she touched him felt like a cruel mockery of every moment I’d ever shared with him.
The dinner continued. Plates were passed, laughter swelled, and the pack elders exchanged their usual stories. I tried to eat, but my appetite had vanished. My fork hung uselessly over the plate. Every sound felt distant, muffled beneath the weight of my own heartbeat.
Julian leaned closer to Sylvia, brushing her fingers over his sleeve. “You didn’t tell me the Alpha house was this beautiful,” she whispered.
Sylvia smiled slightly. “You’ll get used to it soon. This is your home now.”
Julian giggled softly, her eyes flicking toward Ellie. “Then I suppose I should start learning how to please my Alpha properly.”
Sylvia’s lips curved into a faint smirk. “You already do.”
My fork slipped from my hand, clattering against my plate. The sound made both men glance my way, but I quickly force.a smile, pretending nothing was wrong. My heart, however, felt like it was tearing apart.
Each time Julian leaned closer to Sylvia, I felt my throat tighten. Every flicker of his attention toward her was a dagger I couldn’t deflect. I wanted to look away, to pretend none of it mattered, but I couldn’t. My gaze kept finding them, his calm, her beauty, the easy way their hands found each other beneath the table.
Claus noticed. Of course he did. He always did.
“Ellie,” he murmured softly, his hand brushing my arm. “Are you all right?”
I blinked, forcing my lips into something resembling a smile. “I’m fine,” I whispered, though my voice betrayed me.
His brow furrowed, but he didn’t press. Not here. Not in front of them.
I looked down at my plate again, the food untouched. The smell of roasted meat made me nauseous. The air felt too thick, too heavy. My heartbeat was a drum of panic inside me. I needed to get out before the walls closed in.
“I think I’ll excuse myself,” I said quietly, forcing a small smile toward Claus and the elders. “It’s just… the pregnancy. I feel a little lightheaded.”
They nodded sympathetically. Claus rose halfway as if to follow, but I shook my head. “Stay. Please. I’ll be fine.”
He hesitated but sat back down, and I turned, my steps unsteady as I left the dining hall.
~Sylvia~
From my seat at the table, I watched Ellie’s retreating figure disappear through the doors.
I didn’t move. I didn’t call her name, didn’t chase after her the way I once would have. My hand rested lightly over Julian’s, her fingers warm against my skin.
The laughter and chatter around me felt distant. For a moment, my mind drifted back to a time when Ellie’s smile had been enough to light my world, when every glance from her carried the promise of something I now knew would never come.
I had spent years trying to win her love, to make her see me, to make her stay. And each time, she’d slipped through my fingers, pulled away by duty, by fear, by Claus.
So tonight, as she walked away, I didn’t follow.
I only smiled faintly to himself, a cold, weary kind of smile.
All these years, I thought, I was the one begging for her love. Now it’s her turn.
Julian leaned closer, her voice soft. “Are you all right?”
I turned to her and smiled, this time warmer, more deliberate. “I am,” I said quietly. “For the first time… I really am.”
But when I lift my glass in a quiet toast, my gaze flicked once more to the door where Ellie had gone, and for just a heartbeat, my hand trembled.
Because peace, I realized, didn’t mean the absence of love only the surrender to it own.