Chapter 418 - My Husband, My Secret Lover

Author POV

They were so close to each other that they could hear each other's heartbeats and their breaths were intertwined.

Suddenly the room felt for both of them. For a moment, their hearts skipped a beat and they couldn't help thinking of the time when they were passionately in love.

It was quiet in the bathroom and only the sounds of water and Stela's movement could be heard from time to time. Hayden had a lot to say but he didn't think it was the right time to say them. In fact, he didn't know when the right time was, but at this time, he suddenly didn't want to suppress his true feelings anymore.

The fragrance of jasmine on Stela's body was lingering around him and he felt like it was gradually penetrating the line of defense in his heart.

"Why?" he asked Stela in a hoarse voice.

"What?" Stela asked and slowed down her movements. Then she realized what he was asking about and felt relieved. This moment finally comes, she thought, Since the incident half a year ago, I've been trying to get in touch with you, Hayden. But I failed again and again. As time went by, my urge to explain everything to you faded away, and the only thing I wanted to do became getting a chance to see you again.

Subconsciously, Stela withdrew her hand from Hayden' body and took a step back. However, Hayden, who saw through her mind, grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to his side, making her unable to escape. Then he asked the questions that he had hidden in his heart for a long time., "Why are you so good to me now? Have you forgotten how hateful I used to be? Don't you hate me?"

His consecutive questions made Stela stunned. For a moment, she stared at him in a daze and didn't know what to say.

"You must have hated me very much at that time," Hayden said in a calm voice, his eyes slightly bloodshot. "Stela, since you hate me so much, why didn't you just let me die? I'd rather die at that time than live in pain now."

Stela, I felt guilty about hurting you. And when you abandoned me, I felt resentful and heartache though I knew I deserved it. And when I finally made up my mind to get over you, you came back to me and treated me well.

Didn't you always want to leave me? Didn't you say that you never wanted to see me again? Why did you come back? Why did you show your concerns to me? Why did you tug at my heartstrings from time to time? Hayden thought.

Standing in front of her, Stela let him grab her wrist, and her lips became bloodless. She wanted to say something but didn't know where to start. "I..."

"Well, you don't have to explain to me if you don't want to. You can go out now." Hayden stopped her before she could say anything. He was afraid that what she said next would shatter his hope again.

When he was in prison, he believed that Stela would explain why she framed him up for the sake of Victor to him sooner or later. However, now that she had explained to him, he didn't know whether he should believe her.

"I'm sorry," Stela said with her eyes red and watery. "I didn't mean to hurt you. But I didn't want you to die so I had to frame you up in that situation."

Letting go of her wrist, Hayden shook his head slightly and said, "If you had said that earlier, I might have believed you. But Stela, now I don't dare to believe you." After a pause, he continued, "You said that you didn't want to see me anymore and that even if you would die, you didn't want to die with me. Since you don't want to see me, then you can leave now. From now on, you are free."

Seeing that Hayden didn't believe her, she decided to explain to him again another day. Holding back her tears, Stela said, "Let's not talk about this. Let me help clean your body first. If you stay in the bathroom too long, you may catch a cold."

However, Hayden became stubborn again. He grabbed the towel from Stela's hand and insisted, "No! I want to talk about this and make everything clear to you. Since you don't love me anymore, please leave here and never appear in front of me again." At the same time, he thought, Stela, if you appear in front of me every day, I will be soft hearted sooner or later. That's not what I want. I would rather cut all my ties with you so he won't be hurt by you again.

"You still don't trust me," she said pitifully. Hayden, you used to tell me that you would love me forever. But now you tell me that you don't want to see me again... How could you be so cruel to me?

Without looking at her, Hayden said expressionlessly with his voice full of depression, "Leave me alone. I beg you."

He seldom talked to her in such a tone.

Sensing the despair and depression in his voice, Stela couldn't help but feel sad. She suddenly missed the proud and confident Hayden he used to be and couldn't help blaming herself because she knew it was her who made Hayden become what he was like now.

"Okay. I promise you that I'll leave here when you recover," she said. Of course, she said that just to make Hayden not drive her away for the time being.

Hearing this, Hayden didn't say anything. He closed his eyes again, clasped his hands together, and held them loosely in front of his belly, feeling an overwhelming sense of loss.

Biting her lower lip tightly, Stela made up her mind that no matter how cruel words he would say to drive her away, she wouldn't go. She took the towel back from Hayden' hand and continued to clean his body.

"I'm going to wash your hair for you. Raise your head slightly and lean your neck against the backrest of the chair, or the water may flow into your eyes."

After a moment of silence, Hayden did as she said, still expressionless. And he kept reminding himself in his heart that he couldn't be softhearted.

Turning on the water, Stela adjusted the water flow and wetted Hayden' hair with warm water carefully. Then she applied some shampoo to his hair and gently rubbed it into foam. His hair was thick and in tiptop condition. And her palm felt itchy when it touched his hair. After shampooing his hair, she rinsed the hair thoroughly with warm water.

Sensing Stela's carefulness, Hayden sighed slightly. Then he tilted his head back slowly to imperceptibly make it easier for her to rinse out the foam. Stela was so intent when rinsing his hair that she didn't notice his cooperative movement.

With the shower head in one hand, Stela held the back of his neck and said softly, "Hayden, close your eyes in case the water flows into your eyes."