***"I’m tired of driving ‘till I see stars in my eyes***
***It's all I've got to keep myself sane, baby***
***So I just ride, I just ride."*** *\- Lana Del Rey*
***Holden Young***
I never thought the weight of a name could be so suffocating. Every time I saw my last name reflected on some big screen or social media, all I could think about was how many people my family might have harmed.
This thought consumed my mind twenty-four hours a day, blinding me. My focus in the days that followed was solely on deciding what to do, how to act, and how to break this cycle of destruction without harming Alissa.
Every step I took could be decisive, and it made my brain burn out. I reviewed the details of the event scheduled for the next day—a charity event that would bring artists to perform and raise funds for important causes. Among the names was Mark Randall. My godfather and the only familiar name mentioned in the documents I saw about Alissa.
I considered many possibilities. Boycotting the partnership by exposing him at the event was an option, but that would put my career at risk. On the other hand, staying silent would make me complicit in everything that had happened to Alissa and others.
I wanted to understand what to do, to know what step to take next.
Michael told me over the phone earlier that day, “You can’t save the world, Holden. Some battles aren’t ours to fight.” Maybe he was right.
But I could at least try to find out something by meeting him. That might ease some of the guilt I felt, but it wasn’t a certainty. Nothing besides what I felt for her was a certainty.
At the event, amidst fake smiles and handshakes, I searched for Mark with my eyes while trying to ignore the growing guilt inside me. Part of that guilt came from another source: Alissa.
I hadn’t seen her in days. I knew she felt my absence, even if she wouldn’t admit it. One single message from me was enough for her not to press further about what was going on.
Maybe I should learn from her and let things be, without the need to dive so deeply into them that there was no way back.
So, it was a surprise when, in the middle of the crowd, I saw her. She looked beautiful, as always. Confident and determined, even… cheerful.
I just didn’t understand what she was doing there as part of the production.
But it only took a few moments together for me to realize how upset she was. There was something in the way she acted that made me stop. I wanted to tell her everything—that I had found my parents, and confronted them—but the fear of pushing her further away was stronger.
So, I let her go about her work. I looked at Cyrus with suspicion as soon as she walked away.
“Did you do this?” I asked, gesturing toward her. He just smiled before lighting a cigarette.
“What happened to that talk about keeping us apart, only in private settings?” I asked jokingly.
He tilted his head, observing me with half-moon eyes. “Better to keep her in my sights than far away, giving the cameras something to feed on. But don’t worry; our team has already managed to bury the rumors thanks to your fans. Every photo of you with a fan clinging to your neck creates speculation, and that keeps them busy.”
I let out a bitter laugh. After all, I still wasn’t used to having my life dissected by people I didn’t even know. But I moved on. I didn’t find Mark at the event, and maybe that was a sign that I should follow Michael’s advice.
I performed two songs, including a cover of Mind Over Matter because it had been stuck in my head ever since I got stranded at Alissa’s apartment, and she played it at least twice.
She stayed hidden behind the sound equipment, and I felt strange—almost exposed—seeing how she watched me. There was a sparkle in her eyes, something special, that made me want to drop everything and go to her, pulling her close.
So, when the event finally ended, I followed her. She was tidying up some things in the production area, and for a moment, I just stood there, watching her.
“Are you free now?” I asked, smiling.
She looked at me, surprised. “What?”
“Let’s go for a ride,” I said, gesturing outside.
She hesitated. “Holden, we can’t be seen together. Cyrus finally managed to redirect the news about you, and I’m starting to get back to a normal routine.”
“No one will see us. I promise,” I replied, stepping closer. I took the helmet from under my arm and extended it to her.
“Since when do you ride a motorcycle?” she asked, frowning.
“Since I got my license,” I joked, winking at her.
She sighed but took the helmet. “This is a terrible idea.”
“The best ones always are.”
We sped through the city, the bike cutting through the illuminated streets like an arrow. The wind enveloped us, and for the first time in days, I felt like I could breathe. Having Alissa with me, her arms around me, felt like I had everything I needed.
I drove to a special place, my little hideout. A secret club where I was a VIP member. The atmosphere was laid-back, almost clandestine, with dim lighting and soft ambient music. It was the kind of place where no one asked questions and cameras were strictly forbidden.
“Where are we?” she asked as we entered, looking around curiously.
“One of my favorite spots,” I replied, holding the door open for her. “I’m friends with the owner, so we’re safe here.”
She raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment.
We sat in a more secluded corner, away from the few patrons quietly chatting. I ordered two drinks, but the waiter soon returned with a knowing smile.
“The house offers the first round. Courtesy of Sofia,” he said, referring to the owner.
Alissa picked up her glass and took a sip, her eyes fixed on mine.
“So, what is this, Holden? A kidnapping?”
“If it were, you wouldn’t have come so easily,” I replied, smiling.
“You like taking risks,” she said, crossing her legs and leaning back in her chair.
“Only when it’s worth it,” I answered, my voice lower than I intended.
She looked away for a moment as if trying to decide something. At that moment, I realized that no matter how much I tried to hide my intentions, Alissa could always see beyond the words.
But that night, I let it all go. I simply enjoyed her company, the soft music in the background, and the warmth she seemed to bring wherever she went.
It was a simple moment, but for me, being with her like that, feeling free, meant everything.
Her there, smiling and having fun, looking so carefree, made me feel like that night would stay with me forever.
*And I was right.*