Chapter 42 After

POV: Jax

I wake up to an omega mindlinking me that Cameron is awake and crying. I go to get up and notice Haven is laid naked curled up in my arms. It all its me. I remember. We mated. I marked her.

I look at the time and its 6 pm. I slept most of the day. I get up carefully not to wake up Haven. I slip on a pair of sweat pants. I go take care of Cameron. I feed and change him and ask mom to watch him tonight for me.

I lay him down and kiss his little cheeks before I go. I grab a pair of shorts and panties for Haven from her room. "What about a shirt?" Ash asks. "She has a shirt. Mine." I tell him in a duh tone.

I can't believe today happened. My baby is now my baby. My forever bestie. I grab my laptop from my office. Haven and I are hashing this thing out tonight. We are not leaving my room until we have hash this out.

I enter my bedroom to find Haven is still asleep. I know she once told me that she doesn't feel like she sleeps much at night than she actually does. She explained the reason why. I just wish she could just sleep normal.

I sit on the bed next to her brushing a few strands back from her face. She hums in her sleep to my touch leaning in.

I figure I better get some work done while I wait for her to wake. I open my emails up seeing the top one is from Haven. She sent this today a few hours ago. I open to see what it is.

Dear Jax

I know how much you must hate me. I don't understand why but you do. I've done something to make you mad. You were my best friend. My bestie. I loved you. Now you no longer want me around. I've become a burden. Perhaps I would have been better off if I wasn't born. I can be here anymore.

I don't want to be here anymore. Penny is the only one who checks on me everyday. No one else does. You stopped caring. I know you're grieving but so am I and I really needed you. I hoped you would have been there for me they way I wanted for you.

I'm truly sorry Catalina is gone but she is with you always. She's in Cameron. I was only trying to help that day. He was crying for a while so I went to help him. Raise him right.

I once had a crush on you when I was 16. I thought you were so cute but that went away. Unfortunately it has come back. I don't understand why. Please forgive me for whatever I have done to you. I love you my bestie goodbye.

Haven.

Her suicide note. This is a hard pill to swallow. My baby thought that she was a burden. I made her think she did something wrong and I was mad at her.

I was so selfish. I wouldn't even let her come to Catalina's funeral to say goodbye. She was her friend and I denied her of that. I wasn't there for her when dad died. Instead I only pushed her away even more. She was hurting like I was and all she wanted to do was help me and I couldn't even return the favor.

I don't deserve her. I'll have to take her to see Cat later. Penny has been a really good friend to her. I've been a jerk. "An ass." Ash adds.

I won't be like that anymore. I'll be the Jax She's always know and so much more. Her protector. Her friend. Her lover. Her mate. Whatever it is I need to be for her.

I move on to some work stuff. I'm going to have to find someone to take over Black River until Cameron is old enough to take over. Now that I'm the true king I won't have to much time for it.

I'm thinking to put Luke in charge but I don't want to do that because I want to take him with me and keep him as my beta. He would be closer to Haven too. Maybe I can Put Ben there. Trade betas.

First I have to secure the palace and the throne. I need to get Intel on whats happening on the inside. Things are cut off right now. Sending scouts in this soon is too risky. They will be looking for that. No I need a personal angle with this.

I have an idea but it's risky it could risk Haven. Unfortunately using something connected to Haven may be the only way. I wonder if it would break our bond if Julian were to give permission.

"No. At least it shouldn't. Bu the laws and rules of moon blessed and imprinting it shouldn't break. Remember an imprint is the strongest unbreakable of mate bonds. Once its in tact there is no breaking it. They can try but it won't work." Ash answers my thought.

"That and we have the advantage. As long as they don't know about Haven and me they still think they have a shot."

"Exactly. This is going to work just call them up." Ash insist we go with this plan.

Haven begins to shift around waking up. I watch her for her reaction. She opens her eyes looking around the room. Her eyes land on me and they widen. She looks down lifting the covers up peeking down. She covers her face in embarrassment.

Then you see it all on her face she remembers what happened today. She peeks up at me. "Please tell me this is a dream?"

"Nope. It really happened." I tell her smiling down at her. "Omg no. What have I done?" She covers her face.

I remove her hands from her face. "It happened Haven. It's ok. Your ok." I tell her. She tries to sit up hissing in pain. She's sore. In my defense she is really small. It was basically her first time especially willingly.

"Are you ok?" She presses her lips noding. "Here I'll run you a bath. Then we can talk." I tell her. I run a nice warm relaxing bath for her. It should help. When I come back in the room she's crying.

"Oh Haven. Don't cry. I'm sorry. What's wrong?" I ask her softly. "I don't understand." She says in a small voice.

"OK. Here let me help you." I throw the covers back causing her to cover herself. "Seen it." Ash comments.

I roll my eyes at him. He is not helping here. I lift her up taking her to the bathroom and placing her in the tub. I stay with her the whole time. One I don't want to leave her.

Two. I don't trust she won't attempt what she did earlier. She is on suicide watch. She is not allowed to be left alone. "You can go now." She says.

"No can do. You are officially now on suicide watch. You remember how fun that was don't you?" She groans.

"Not fun at all." She says annoyed. "I know. But I can't trust you won't try it again. The next three days you are not to be left alone. Someone will be with you at all times. You know the drill."

"I hate you." She says. "No you love me. In fact I just read you had a crush on me. I'm shocked." I say amused. She blushes. "You were only supposed to read that if I died. Now all I can hope is to die of embarrassment."

"Hmm one could only hope." I tease her. "So just how cute did you find me?" I continue to tease her. "Stop. I'm embarrassed enough. I still don't fully understand what came over me today. Why I didn't stop you. Why you did this."

"After. First just relax." I sit behind her and rub her shoulders. She is very tense. This just won't do.

After she sits there for a while and is all clean now. I go get her clothes from the room. I leave the door open so I can see her. I bring her the clothes and hand her a towel. "Turn around"

Not wanting to upset her I do what she wants. A few minutes later she taps my shoulder. I give her a smile. "Did you forget my shirt? You got shorts and underwear but not a shirt and definitely no bra." She complains.

"I didn't thing of a bra and I left your shirt out on purpose. Thats why you have mine on."

"You and Raphael both. I swear he did the same thing at every opportunity he would get his shirt on me." She complains.

I chuckle. "What exactly is wrong with my shirt bestie?" I ask her. She freezes. "Dont do that." She says.

"Why not?" I ask. "Because you have made it very clear we are not friends. You hate me remember."

I place both my palms coping her face. "Hey. I know I've been a jerk lately and I'm sorry but I am still your friend Haven. Don't ever think any different."

She closes her eyes looking like she may cry. I take her and sit on the bed placing her sideways sitting on my lap.

"There is a reason i have acted the way I have. I was trying to stay away from you. You see Haven we are Imprinted."

"I'm sorry what?" She blinks a few times. "An imprint is a type of mate bond. We imprinted when you where a month old. With an imprint I'm your protector. Your friend. Lover. Mate. Whatever it is I need to be for you." I explain an imprinted mate bond to her.

"Its more intense. Its deeper. An imprint is a true mate. Once an imprint is locked there is no breaking it so your stuck with me." I finish explaining. "OK. Wow. Um but that doesn't tell me why you've been a complete and total jerk."

"Sorry about that. I was mean when you needed me the most. I thought that I would be betraying Cat and I didn't want to get in the way of you and dad so I didn't want to be around you. When Cat died Ash started pushing it." I explain everything again.

"Who is Ash?" I smile. "My Lycan. You two used to be best buds too but you lost those memories.... Haven i know you don't like to talk about it but that day was when I knew we were imprints. I felt it. I know it happened twice." I admit to her. She teases.

"I honestly didn't remember the first one but then I lied when I did." She confesses. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I didn't want to acknowledge it. It's bad enough it happened twice. I guess I know now why I've always been completely comfortable with you." She admits.

"Haven you can tell me anything and I promise to always help you through it. Here i want you to read this. Thanks for the message by the way." I give her the letter Cat wrote to me.

She reads it and ends in tears. "I didn't even get to say goodbye." She sobs. "I know and thats my fault. I should have let you come home."

"So you were never mad at me?" She says unsure. "No I wasn't mad. You did nothing wrong. Don't ever thing that I hate you because I could never."

She lays her head on my shoulder sniffling. "When did you get my name tattooed on you?" She asks. I look down not know what she's talking about. There on my chest over my hear is The name Haven Lorain Summers.

This is the imprint. When I marked her she not only got a mates mark but she should have the same thing only with Jax Colton Rickson. It appeared on me when I marked her. She won't be able to mark me so by default this is the closest this to a mark from her I will get.

I explain what that is to her. "You should also have one." I tell her. She peeps down my shirt to see. "Oh."

A commotion is hear from down stairs. "What is it?" Haven asks. I sometimes forget she can hear like the rest of us do. "I don't know. I heard something.

I hear stomping footsteps coming up the stairs. "Haven Lorain Summers. If you don't answer your phone this instance." Its Luke.

I smirk at Haven. "Ooo Someones in touble." I sing song. "What did I do?" Shes quick to say.

"Luke is looking for you. He just used your middle name. Something about how you won't pick the phone up."

"Wait where is my phone?" She asks. "I think it's still in your room. He is about to have the freak out of a lifetime if you don't show up."

"Oh no. I have to go deal with him now. Ugh brothers are so annoying." She complains. "No sisters are. Trust me mine is a total head case at this point."

She gets up to leave but I stop her holding her back to me. "Where do you think you're going?"

"To chill Luke out and get my phone." A banging on my bedroom door is heard. "Jax open up. Haven is missing. She sent me an odd text im worried she may have tried it again." Luke says worried and panicked.

I set Haven down on the bed and answer the door. "What are you going on about?"

"It Haven she's..... in here?" He starts but notices Haven. "Haven we have been looking for you. You didn't pick up any of your calls or text. Penny went to check on you and you were gone. I thought something happened."

"Sorry I didn't mean to worry you. I ended up in here some how. Its a long story. I was upset." She says.

"Upset ain't the word for it. Haven is officially back on suicide watch. I caught her." I inform Luke.

"Why would you do that. You promised the last time you would never attempt that again." Luke says a upset.

"Its my fault. I pushed her to far but things are better now." I tell Luke not wanting him to blame Haven for this. "Your damn right you went to far. I really do home you've got your shit together now." Luke points his finger at me.

"Yes I've got it together now. Just ask Haven." I tell him. "When the fuck did you get my sisters name tattooed on you? Why the hell would you do that?" Luke notices my mark.

"Uhh you may want to get you parents for this one because I'm not explaining this again."

"Ok?" He's confused. He does it anyway. Haven walks towards the door. "Nope. You're not leaving this room right now." I hold her back.

"But my Phone and Penny. I'm hungry." She whines. "Fine lets go get you phone and get you fed." I tell her.

We first grab her phone. Then go to the kitchen. Penny is in there sipping a glass of wine.

"Haven oh my gosh where have you been?" Penny says worried. "I'm sorry I was with Jax. I'm ok now?"

"Dont ever do that do me I hate worrying about my bestie like that." Penny says. "Woah hold the phone up. I am her bestie." I announce. That title is mine.

"Since when are you chummy with Haven again? You've been a total jerk while I've been here the whole time." Penny argues.

"Since now. The bestie title has always been mind and it will never change. Tell her Haven."

"Can't you both be my bestie. My girlfriend  bestie and my guy bestie." Haven suggests. "Girlfriend? Nope I don't like it. She likes girls nope. I'm the reign Supreme that hold the besties title."I tell them both.

"Jealous much." Penny snorts. I growl. "Will you two stop. Jax it not like that. I don't like girls like that so stop it." Haven says.

Haven grabs some milk and the box of of krave cereal. She fixes a bowl and sits down and eats it.

"Fine but I'm the bestest bestie." I say. "Wow someone needs a major ego boost." Penny says.

What's wrong with my ego? "Anyway I'm glad your ok and you and Jax have made up." Penny says.

After my baby is fed I take her back to my room. It's not long after we get there that Luke shows back up with his parents. I explain everything to them.

"Thats impossible." Linda is in disbelief. "Haven how do you feel about this. You do know you can't take this back now." Jack tells Haven. "I know Jax told me everything and I'm willing to try." Awe she is so cute.

We talk for a few more minutes. Haven starts to get sleepy so we lay down and I hold her. I feel so much better now being with her.