Chapter 63

It was night, Lain washed Lael and put him to the bed after feeding him. Placing him on the bed, Lain grabbed a story book and opened it. It was a story about a knight of a kingdom. He turned the pages of the book and looked at the beautiful drawings in it. So cute! His lips curled upwards to a smile and he looked at his little son who was waiting for him to read the book. Lain took a deep breath, then he parted his lips and started to read the book. As he read it, Lael giggled and listened to it carefully while holding the index finger of Lain’s one hand.

“The knight… is it you daddy?” Suddenly he questioned Lain. The knight in the book was someone who was so handsome and brave. He was powerful and he was the strongest man alive. Even the king couldn’t beat that knight. Lain smiled at Lael and kissed his little forehead as he brushed the little boy’s hair back through his fingers. Lain shook his head and. He was not the knight in this book and he would not be.

“No.. it’s you.. You should be as brave as this knight and as strong as him.” Lael stared at Lain’s eyes for so long. Then he gradually nodded at Lain and smiled. Lain continued the story and he witnessed how Lael leisurely fell asleep. Lain didn’t move away until he fell into a deep sleep. Once Lael was sleeping so soundly and comfortably. Lain stared at him for so long and put his hand into his pocket. He took out a wrist band. Lain got it from his father when he was a kid. He placed the wristband on the bedside table and took Lael’s drawing book as he tore a little piece of paper from the last page of it. Then he wrote a little sentence and placed the paper on the table as he again put the wristband on the piece of paper. After that, he got up and stared at his son for so long.

“Daddy’s so sorry baby…” He whispered against Lael's ear and kissed his forehead. Lain had tears in his eyes but he endured the pain and kissed Laels head for a few more times before leaving the room. Once he came out of the room, he let out a deep and sorrowful sigh. Then he walked towards his room. As he went there, he saw Elvira who was sitting on the bed. Lain watched her and clenched his jaws before stepping towards her. She looked at him and spread her arms at him. Lain knew that she was asking him to hug her. He smiled and hugged her, kissing her head.

While hugging her, he looked at the time and saw it was ten at night. Lael slept too late tonight after spending time with Lain. and it was time for Elvira to sleep too. She should sleep now because of her pregnancy. She should not stay awake until it’s too late at night. If not it will affect both her health and the baby in her belly. Patting her back gently, Lain kissed Elvira’s head and parted his lips to speak.

“Sleep now… it’s getting too late” Elvira lifted her head and looked at him. She scanned his face for a while and shook her head. Lain’s eyebrows twitching seeing her shaking her head. Doesn’t she want to sleep early tonight? He frowned. Elvira continued shaking her head cutely for a while. After that, she stopped and pulled Lain down by his shirt. Subsequently she wrapped her arms around his neck when he bent down. Kissing his cheek, she mumbled against his ear.

“I’m not sleepy tonight… I feel like staying awake. It feels so weird Lain… it really feels so strange. I don’t know why but my wolf is somewhat reckless. She’s sad..” Lain’s eyebrows twitched after hearing her. He cupped her gorgeous face and kissed her lips. His heart was pounding against his chest but his heartbeat was so fucking weak. She was feeling weird? Her wolf was sad? It was all because he was going to leave everything behind today. Lain didn't utter a word. He had nothing to tell her. His heart was covered with countless guilty feelings. He pulled this innocent girl into this pain. He was the one who forcefully caused this but now there was no turning back.

“You should sleep, Umay.. you worked today and you need rest and the baby needs rest” Lain kissed her forehead and gently whispered. Elvira looked into his eyes and hummed before breaking the hug. As she broke the hug, Lain pinched her cheek gently and walked into the washroom. He wanted to grab a shower. Taking off his clothes, he looked at himself via the mirror of the washroom. As he looked at his body, he could see the visible veins of his body had turned extremely dark. Just because he was wearing turtleneck t-shirts all the time, no one could see what’s happening with his body.

Lain touched the veins and clenched his jaws. He moved his eyes to his face and looked at himself. His face was still the same but it was just pale. Shaking his head, Lain walked under the shower and switched on the warm water. He wanted to get a warm and comfortable shower while it’s raining outside so heavily. After some time, Lain finished showering and changed into a bathrobe. Leaving the washroom, he looked at Elvira. She was leaning against the headboard of the bed while looking outside of the glass wall of his room. She was watching the rain.

Lain didn’t stay there for longer. He entered the dressing room. Grabbing a black turtleneck t-shirt and sweatpants, he changed into it and came out of the dressing room. Lain stepped towards the bed and got onto it. Pulling Elvira to his embrace he inhaled her scent. Her scent is every fucking thing to him. Kissing her shoulder and her neck, Lain let out a complacent groan. Elvira turned to him with his groan. She said nothing but to watch him. After some time, she rested her head against his chest and closed her eyes. She took Lain’s hands and placed both hands against her belly.

Lain could feel the movements of the baby. This baby is moving but as far as he could feel, the baby’s movements were gentle. When she was pregnant with Lael, the movements were so heavy and strong but now it was just delicate and gentle. Is she going to give birth to a baby girl? Lain thought while caressing her belly. Even the thought of having a daughter made his body shudder but that doeesn’t matter now, he was ready to leave everything even if it was so fucking hard for him.

“Lain, do you have anything to tell me?” All of sudden Elvira questioned him. Lain was taken back hearing her sudden question. He remained silent for a while and didn’t answer her question immediately. He had so many things to tell her. He had countless thoughts and feelings to tell her but he didn’t know how to do so. He was hiding so many things inside of his chest. He stroked Elvira’s long hair and kissed her hair. She smelled so good. Taking a deep breath, Lain parted his lips to speak.

“All I have to tell you is that I love you so much.. And I will always love you no matter how far I am from you. And I am sorry for everything that happened in the past. I was really careless and selfish. I’m sorry again. ” Lain muttered. Elvira moved away from his body and looked at him. She had a puzzled look on her eyes but Lain smiled without letting her feel anything unwanted. Elvira examined his face for a while. Subsequently she nodded. Kissing his lips, she cupped his face looking deep into his eyes. Lain witnessed the love in her eyes. The unconditional love and care she had for him was visible in her clear and gorgeous eyes. He was blessed to see her like this.

“I know that… I also love you so much… but.. That’s not what I’m asking Lain… I feel that you are carrying a huge burden on your shoulders. You look as if you are thinking about something else all the time. You look so tired and so silent. You were not like this when I first came to this house. The active look and the savageness and the ther unique things are no longer with you.. I wonder why? I don’t know why you are becoming like his” Lain broke the eye contact between them and lowered his eyes. He chewed his lips and let out a complicated sigh. How the hell is he going to answer her now?

“No, Umay… you are overthinking.. I just.. I’m just like this. Don’t think about it anymore, okay? Be relaxed…” he muttered. Elvira stared at him and finally nodded at him. She hugged him, burying her face against his chest. Lain hugged her tightly against his chest and rested his chin on her head. He wanted her to fall asleep soon. He had a few more hours left and he was going to stay alone those few hours after she went to sleep. As he hugged Elvira and gently stroked her back, she felt so sleepy. Sleeping in his embrace was really really comfortable and lovable.

“Sleep now…” Kissing Elvira's forehead, he made her lay on the bed. Covering themselves with the quilt, Lain hugged Elvira to sleep. He waited in the same position for two hours until she fell into a deep sleep. After he was sure that she was sleeping and won’t wake up now, Lain slowly moved away from her. He got up from the bed and walked towards the glass wall of the room. He stared out of it. He watched the heavy and nonstop rain. Tears rolled down from Lain’s eyes as he watched the red. He had both his hands inside of the pockets in his pants. His hands had turned ice cold. It was freezing cold. His body was also getting cold.

Lain stared out of it for so long and turned as he walked into the room again. He looked at the time and it was already one at night. Few more hours to go. Lain slowly opened the drawer of the bedside table and took the notebook out along with a pen. Then he wrote something very long. After he was done, he placed the book on the table and left the room. Coming toward Aunt Maria’s room, Lain heard the sobbing sounds. She was crying. He knocked on the door and waited until she opened the door. As soon as Maria opened the door and saw him, she hugged him so tightly. She continued crying for so long and finally broke the hug between them and looked at Lain.

“Please… this shouldn’t happen…” she cried. Lain smiled at her and took her both hands. Holding her hands against his chest, he let her feel his heartbeat which was weakening. Feeling it, Maria’s cries increased. She again hugged Lain and cried. Lain patted her back and smiled. Parting his lips, he spoke. The time was getting closer and he shou;ld go back to bed. He didn’t want to wake Elvira up with his absence on the bed.

“This is it, aunty.. Thank you so much for everything you did for me. You really took care of me as if I was your own son. After mom left, you were there for me as a mother. Thank you so much for everything. Just like you took care of me in the past, I hope you will take care of my children and Umay… please, she would be emotionally damaged once she got to know this but help her. Don’t let her be alone or do anything stupid. Follow her everywhere and take care of her” Lain muttered. Maria nodded at him with an honest expression. Lain smiled at her and thanked her for everything again as he left.

Coming upstairs, Lain walked towards Lael’s room and opened the door slightly. He looked at the way his son was sleeping and smiled. Closing the door gently, he walked back into his room again. As he came inside, he saw the rain had become even more furious tonight. Lightning flashed across the sky and the sound of loud thunder spread everywhere. Despite everything, Lain got onto the bed and hugged Elvira. He kissed her forehead for a while and then moved away from her. Lying on the bed properly, he stared at the ceiling above him.

Leisurely his eyes closed. He felt sleepy. Closing his eyes, he took a few heavy breaths and loosened his clenched fists. Lain slowly fell into a deep sleep. While he was sleeping he was dreaming about Elvira and Lael. in the middle of his dream, suddenly a woman who looked so familiar came wearing a beautiful gown. Lain stopped what he was doing and stared at her with utterly shocked eyes. She turned to him. She smiled at him brightly and nodded her head gently as if she was asking him to come.

It was none other than his mother. He felt the beaming happiness seeing his mother and he walked towards her leaving Elvira and Lael who were still playing. Even though Elvira asked him to stop, he kept walking towards his mother. As he walked towards her and stopped in front of her, she smiled at him brightly and at the same time, Lain felt a terrible heartache inside of his chest but soon it disappeared. So he followed his mother.