Chapter 175 The Burial And A Surprise

Chapter 175 The Burial And A Surprise
The burial came faster than my heart could keep up with. It was only a day after her death. My stepdad said she had told him she wanted to be buried soon after her death. Learning that my mum had been preparing ahead of her own death had only made me cry deeper.

I stood there under a dull sky, dressed in black, sunglasses hiding eyes that were swollen and aching. Carol stood beside me, her arm around my back, steadying me when my legs forgot how to hold my weight.

The pastor spoke about heaven, rest and peace.

All I could think about was how my mother used to hum when she cooked. How she used to braid my hair even when I pretended I was too old for it. How she used to say my name like it was something precious. When she told me about the lords…how she cared for me in her own faulty way.

‘Mum.’

The word echoed painfully inside me now, unanswered.

John stood a few steps away, grief carved deep into his posture. When he came to me, he wrapped his arms around me carefully, like he was afraid to hurt me further.

“You’re still my daughter,” he said quietly. “You’ll always have my support in whatever you do.”

I didn’t respond. I couldn’t. I just nodded against his chest, letting myself lean for a moment before stepping back.

Mariah came next, her expression subdued. Zayne followed her, looking gentler than I remembered. She said some words of comfort before walking away. Zayne hugged me, whispered that he was sorry, and told me to take heart. I allowed myself to enjoy his warmth. Holding onto him felt like I was holding onto a part of Jeremy. It got easier seeing him as Jeremy’s brother now than someone I used to have a romantic relationship with. 

When we departed, I asked him… “Do you have any idea if… Jeremy is coming?”

Zayne looked lost for a moment, then asked, “You guys are not back together?” I shook my head. He frowned, then his British accent flew between us. “I never thought the separation was that serious. You know…you and Jeremy always find your way back.” He said awkwardly.

A sad smile crept onto my face. “It’s different this time,” I managed to say. Zayne surely didn’t know about the pregnancy. It was obvious Jeremy didn’t tell him.

He nodded, “We’ve not spoken for days. He’s been busy preparing for tomorrow’s race competition.”

“Oh,” I muttered, feigning strength. Zayne hugged me one more time. “Call me if you need anything,” then he added, “Jeremy will come back to you.” He said into my hair before he left with his mother. I was scared. I didn’t know why…maybe because reality was dawning more than ever. Carol had her life. She had escorted Professor Hartley out earlier before returning. John and Mariah seemed like they were getting officially together too. It was quite obvious. But me…who did I have?

My mother was gone, and I wasn’t even ready to start a new relationship. Zayne had said Jeremy would come back, but that was only because he didn’t know about what I did this time around.

I looked Carol’s way. She was discussing with my mum’s elder sister- Aunt Kelly. She had grown fond of that woman. I wondered if it was because they were both blondes. My father hadn’t come, even though my stepfather had found a way to call and inform him without putting that weight on me alone. That was heartbreaking too, but he had wanted to come for me after what happened with Chris.

I didn’t want to think he was being mean. There must have been a tangible reason for his absence. 

Aunt Kelly had asked if I could come live with her in California, but I had told her I would be fine. She also said her twins were far away from town, and since the burial was sudden, they couldn’t attend. I sincerely wouldn’t mind meeting them soon- maybe I would feel much better having them around as my family.

My eyes narrowed at Aunt Kelly, even though it felt like torture seeing my mum’s face in hers. I was still looking when I felt him. 

My chest stiffened. I removed my glasses.

And then—

I heard his voice.

“I didn’t know she had cancer.”

My breath hitched before I even turned- so fast that I almost bumped into him.

Jeremy stood there. Dressed in black. Black shades on. It felt surreal, seeing him standing there that I almost thought my imagination was playing on me. But then, he was here.

“I thought you left,” I said, my voice barely holding together.

“I hadn’t,” he replied quietly.

I couldn’t look at him properly. My grief was already too big. Adding him to it felt unbearable. I said nothing, just feeling the heavy reality of him standing here beside me.

“No one told me she had cancer,” he said, his voice low and wounded. “You didn’t. My dad didn’t.”

“I asked him not to,” I replied softly. “It wasn’t his fault. I just didn’t want you to feel like…it was your responsibility to…” I didn’t even know what to say. Unfinished words are better than gibberish.

He exhaled sharply, like the words hurt anyway. “It’s always because you don’t trust me.”

I flinched, feeling that intense guilt crawl up my spine again.

“Please,” I whispered, struggling to keep the tears at bay. “Don’t. I…I’m…” I wanted to say I was sorry but that even felt too light. 

His jaw shifted. He looked at me for a long moment, then muttered, “She was like a mother to me too.”

I had a lot to say. “Jeremy…”

“Take care, Teyana.” He said before I could say more- as if he didn’t need to hear whatever I had left to say. He was only here for my mother.

And he turned around and walked away. Like he was never here at first.

I watched him leave.

I felt it—a part of me detaching and going with him. A part of me I could never offer anyone else again. How final it felt scared me to my bones.

That night, I returned to the Carter estate. I told John I wanted to sleep in my mother’s room for just one night. He allowed me. 

I touched her belongings, inhaling her scent that still lingered on them, as if it could fill the void that now stretched endlessly inside me. I cried harder, clutching her clothes to my chest, feeling the raw weight of my loss pressing down.

I had even told Carol not to stay with me this night. I just wanted to be alone and grief it all out. I wanted to feel the pain all alone- just for one night. 

“You should have stayed back, Jeremy.” I muttered to myself, sobbing, realizing I was at the peak of my vulnerability. It was one more reason I wanted to do this myself. I wanted to feel everything and not try to feign strong because someone was there. 

After what felt like hours since around 9PM that I got here, migraine settled over me. I checked the time. It was exactly 1AM. I needed to force myself to sleep or I would fall sick all over again. I spread some of my mum’s clothes on her bed, ready to fall asleep while comforting myself in her scent.

But then- I couldn’t sleep. I didn’t feel alright. 

Suddenly, nausea prickled me like a warning. I stumbled to the bathroom, vomiting into the cold porcelain. I had only taken oat after the burial. I hadn’t taken anything else.

The vomit happened twice again before the next morning. The fact that the feeling it gave was familiar—was scary. I drove myself to a nearby hospital and did a proper test this time around. They took my urine and blood. 

As I sat before the doctor a couple of hours later, he smiled at me.

I wondered why. “Congratulations, Mrs Teyana. You are going to be a mother.”

I went still on my seat. I must have misheard. Mrs Teyana…Mother.  “You mean…I’m…still pregnant?”

Doctor Charles’ brows furrowed. “Still? You used to know you are pregnant?” 

I snatched the result from him and read through it, my heart beating fast. “Oh my God.”

“Are you okay?” I heard the Doctor asking, but I couldn’t answer. I looked up at him. “Thank you.” And just like that, I rushed up while telling him I would come back later.

I didn’t know how to feel, but one thing was certain- the baby stayed for a reason, and this time around, I was going to reach out to him first. My Jeremiah. God, I couldn’t wait.