Chapter 173 Regret and Realization

Chapter 173 Regret and Realization
Teyana’s POV

My Stepdad stood near the window at first, arms folded, staring out at the parking lot below like he was trying to keep himself together for my sake. 

Vance must have informed him, and now he knew about my pregnancy, and that I had aborted his son’s baby. I wondered how that must have felt to him- considering it was after I confronted him and Mariah earlier today.

He finally turned around and approached my bed, “You shouldn’t let Jeremy’s words get to you,” he said gently, pulling the chair beside my bed closer and sitting down. “He was only speaking from a place of anger.”

I stared at the ceiling instead of looking at him.

My body was still heavy, weak in that quiet way that whispered pain into every movement. My lower abdomen ached faintly, like a reminder I couldn’t switch off. My chest hurt more. That one was louder.

John continued, carefully choosing his words like each sentence could either help me breathe or push me further under.

“What you did,” he said slowly, “might not have been the wisest decision. I won’t lie to you about that.” He paused. “But I am grateful you survived it. Truly grateful.”

I swallowed.

“Because what would the world say,” he went on, his voice dropping, “if your mother is on her sickbed fighting for her life… and you too—”

He didn’t finish the sentence.

He didn’t need to.

I could hear him. Every word. I understood the logic of it. I understood the fear behind it. I even understood why he wasn’t screaming at me or condemning me the way Jeremy had.

But none of it reached the place where it mattered.

Because all I could see- no matter how hard I tried to push it away- was Jeremy’s face earlier.

The way his jaw clenched like he was holding himself back from breaking apart. The redness in his eyes. The disbelief and disappointment in them- all at me. The hurt had sat so raw on his features that it scared me. I replayed it again and again, like my mind was punishing me for a crime I hadn’t fully processed yet.

When he looked at me, it wasn’t just anger. It was grief.

And that was what stayed with me.

Seeing him again had done something I hadn’t expected.

It stripped away the excuses I had been hiding behind.

I had told myself I was protecting my peace. That I was choosing stability. That I was too damaged to love properly anymore and needed to heal. That I was doing what was best for everyone.

But lying here now, staring at the white ceiling of the hospital room, I finally admitted the truth to myself.

I had only been scared.

Trauma had made me guarded. Fear had made me defensive. I had wrapped myself in control and called it strength. I had convinced myself distance was safety.

But love doesn’t disappear just because you’re afraid.

I loved Jeremy.

I had never stopped loving him.

And now, loving him hurt more than ever because I had done the one thing I couldn’t undo.

I turned my head slightly and finally looked at John.

“I should have told him,” I said quietly. “About the pregnancy. Before…everything.”

John’s eyes softened further. He didn’t interrupt me.

“I didn’t give him a chance,” I continued. “I decided for both of us. And now—” My voice cracked, and I had to stop for a moment. “Now I don’t even know how to live with that.” God, I hated this feeling of intense regret. Maybe if I had seen him before I did the abortion, I wouldn’t have been able to get on with it.

I looked at Jeremy earlier and realized I wanted to have his baby. I felt sick to my bones. The mind is truly a messy place. And it had messed me up real bad.

John reached out and rested his hand lightly on the edge of the bed, close to mine but not touching, like he was giving me space to breathe.

“The doctor said you’ll be discharged today,” he said after a while, shifting the subject gently. “You need to rest, child.”

I nodded faintly.

As he stood up to leave, I stopped him.

“Wait,” 

He turned immediately.

“Please don’t tell my mother yet,” I said. “About…what I did. I want to tell her myself.”

He studied my face for a long moment, then nodded. “I wasn’t planning to,” he said honestly. “It would hurt her. And the last thing she needs right now is more stress.”

Relief washed through me. It was a thin one, but was something.

After he left, the room felt emptier.

Carol came in not long after and sat beside me on the bed. She didn’t say anything at first. She just reached for my hand and held it tightly, grounding me in a way I desperately needed.

“You’ve got me,” she said softly. “Okay?”

I nodded, my throat tight.

“When am I being discharged?”

“Today,” she replied. “The doctor said you’re stable. You lost some blood, that’s why you’re weak. But you’ll be fine.”

Silence stretched between us before she spoke again.

“I’m sorry,” Carol said quietly. “For telling Jeremy behind your back. I just—”

“I know,” I interrupted gently. I turned my head to look at her. “I know you meant well.”

She searched my face, as if surprised that I wasn’t mad anymore..

“At this point,” I continued, “I’m done judging all of you. Because the problem isn’t you. Or me seeing John and Mariah together earlier. Or even… Jeremy.” I swallowed. “It’s me.”

Carol’s grip tightened slightly around my warm palm. I wished it was Jeremy holding me right now.

“But you know what hurt the most?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

“What?” Her eyes narrowed attentively.

“The realization,” I said. “That I was never ready to end things with him. I was just blinded. I still…I still love Jeremy. I still want him in my life.”

Saying it out loud felt like ripping something open inside me.

“I don’t know how I want to do it,” I continued, more tears gathering in my eyes, “but I need him. I feel like I might have lost the only person who can ever truly give me my spark again.” My chest tightened. “It has to be him, Carol. I can’t do this with anyone else.”

I searched her eyes desperately. “Is it…too late?”

Carol hesitated.

“Teyana,” she called gently, “you want honesty?”

“Yes,” I said immediately, feeling fragile and exposed.

“He’s really hurt,” she said carefully. “And I think he needs time. A lot of it. You should focus on yourself right now.”

I nodded slowly, even though the words sank like stones in my chest.

“You said he’s leaving this week, right?” I asked.

“Yes,” Carol answered. “After the race competition.”

My chest ached.

I had to stop him from leaving. I would. It’s me. Jeremy listened to me. He loved me that much. He would hear me out and as always, we would find our way back together. 

I didn’t know then.

I didn’t know that before I ever got that chance,

before I could fix anything,

life was about to take something else from me. Too early than expected.

Something permanent.

My mother was going to leave us behind.