Chapter 183 His response
Ryder's POV
Jaxon looked at me for a long few seconds before his eyes moved to Sage and then back to me. He did it slowly, deliberately, like he was observing of both of us at the same time and wanted to see if there were any cracks.
"I called Diego." He started.
He paused for so long that the room felt like it had shrunk around us. I did not know whether what followed was going to be good news or bad news and the waiting was making me extremely uncomfortable thinking about what Diego could have said. My heart was thumping loudly enough that I could feel it.
"I've been lying in this hospital bed for weeks thinking," he said finally, his voice steady but weighted with something underneath it. "About Dad. About the club. About our family and loyalty and what really matters in this life. About what kind of man I want to be when I get out of here."
I stayed quiet and let him continue. This was his moment to say what he needed to say and I was not going to interrupt it.
"I thought about how Dad lived his life," Jaxon said. "How he made every decision based on what was best for the club, even when it hurt the people he loved. Especially when it hurt the people he loved. He was willing to pay that price over and over again and he never seemed to question whether the price was too high."
Sage shifted slightly beside me but stayed silent.
"I thought about that marriage agreement he signed with Diego," Jaxon continued. "How he did it without asking Sage what she wanted. Without considering her feelings or her future beyond whether it was politically advantageous for the Steel Wolves. He tried to control her future because he thought he knew better than she did and he didn't bother whether it would make her happy. Whether it was even something she could live with."
His voice was getting stronger as he spoke, more settled in it, like a man who had been rehearsing something alone in a quiet room for a long time and was finally saying it out loud.
"And the worst part is, he probably thought he was doing the right thing," Jaxon said, looking at Sage now. "He probably thought he was protecting you and securing your future. He thought he was making sure you would be taken care of when he was gone. But really he was just deciding your life for you without giving you any say in it. Without trusting you to know your own mind."
Sage made a small sound beside me but Jaxon kept talking.
"And I thought about how I've been doing the same thing," he continued, and now his voice was quieter. He sounded more exposed. "Even giving you my blessing in the hospital was me deciding who you should be with based on my own comfort level. Based on what was easier for me to accept instead of what was actually right for you. I dressed it up as protecting you. But it was still me putting my needs above yours."
"Jaxon—" Sage started.
"Let me finish," he said gently but firmly. "I need to say all of this while I have the mind to say it."
She nodded and went quiet, and I could see the tears already forming in her eyes even though she was trying to hold them back.
"Sage, you're my baby sister," Jaxon said, looking directly at her. "I've spent my whole life trying to protect you and keep you safe from all the darkness that comes with being part of this club and this family. From the things I knew were in this life that I never wanted near you. But somewhere along the way, I stopped being able to tell the difference between protecting you and controlling you. And I kept choosing control because it felt safer."
I could see the tears streaming down Sage's face now. She was not trying to stop them anymore.
"Dad did the same thing," Jaxon continued. "He thought the marriage contract was protecting you. He thought securing your future with a powerful ally was the most responsible thing he could do. But really he was just deciding your life for you without asking what you wanted. Without stopping to care whether you loved Diego or could ever love him. Whether you would spend the rest of your life feeling like a piece on someone else's board."
"I know," Sage said quietly, her voice thick.
"So I'm not going to do that," Jaxon said firmly. "I'm not going to be like Dad. I'm not going to try to control your life or decide who you should be with based on my own comfort or what makes things easier for me. I have been in this bed long enough to understand that I do not get to do that. Not to you."
He looked at me then and I met his eyes steadily. I could see all of it in his face. The conflict, the love, the loyalty, and the determination that had apparently won out over all of them.
"Ryder, you're my best friend. My brother in every way that matters except blood." Jaxon's voice was serious. "And Sage, you're my actual sister. My blood. The only family I have left in this world."
"What are you saying?" Sage asked, and her voice carried both the hope and the fear of someone who needed to hear it plainly.
"I'm saying that watching you two together is going to be weird," Jaxon admitted, and even now I appreciated the honesty in it. "It's going to be uncomfortable and strange and not something I ever imagined having to deal with. Seeing my sister hold hands with my best friend makes my skin crawl a little bit, if I'm being completely honest."
My heart sank and I felt Sage stiffen beside me.