Chapter 177 Tommy's advice
Ryder's POV
While Sage said she wanted to go give Jaxon a call, Tommy pulled me aside toward the back of the room where we could talk with some privacy.
He did not say anything at first, just grabbed me and pulled me into a hard hug. I hugged him back, careful of his healing wound but grateful for the contact.
"I'm proud of you," Tommy said when he finally pulled back. "I know I've been riding your ass about this whole situation, but I'm really proud of you for not screwing this up."
"I almost did screw it up," I reminded him. "She left for Arizona because of me."
"But she came back," Tommy pointed out. "And you apologized and you're making it right. That's what matters."
I shook my head. "I don't know if I can ever really make it right. What I did, abandoning her for that week, that's not something you just fix with an apology."
"No, it's not," Tommy agreed. "But you're going to spend the rest of your life making up for it. And that's worth something."
We moved to lean against the wall, watching Sage across the room as she talked and laughed with the brothers. She looked lighter than she had when she first arrived, like some weight had been lifted off her shoulders.
"You came really close to losing her forever," Tommy said quietly. "You know that, right? If Diego had pushed even a little bit, if he had been less of a decent guy, she might have stayed in Arizona out of obligation or guilt. And you would have lost her."
"I know." The thought made my chest tight. "I think about that constantly. How close I came to destroying the best thing that ever happened to me."
"So don't waste the second chance she's giving you," Tommy said. "Don't take it for granted or assume everything is fine now just because she came back."
"I won't." I looked at my brother. "I'm going to prove to her every single day that she made the right choice. That I'm worth the risk she's taking by trusting me again."
Tommy studied my face for a long time. "You mean that."
"I do." I had never been more serious about anything in my life. "I know what I almost lost. I know how badly I messed up. And I'm not going to make that mistake again."
"Good." Tommy clapped me on the shoulder. "Because if you hurt her again, I'll beat your ass myself. And I don't care that you're my older brother."
"Fair enough." I would deserve it if I messed this up again.
We stood in silence for a few minutes, watching the celebration continue around us. Brothers were drinking and talking, music was playing, and Sage was at the center of it all looking like she belonged exactly where she was.
"You know the hard part isn't winning her back, right?" Tommy said eventually. "The hard part is keeping the promise you just made."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean it's easy to say you'll show up every day and prove you've changed," Tommy explained. "It's a lot harder to actually do it. Especially when life gets complicated or scary or overwhelming. That's when you'll be tested. That's when you'll have to choose between hiding from your fear like you did before or facing it head on."
He was right. I knew he was right.
"What if I mess up again?" I asked quietly. "What if something happens and I freeze up like I did at the hospital? What if the fear wins?"
"Then you apologize immediately and you do better the next time," Tommy said. "Nobody expects you to be perfect, Ryder. Sage isn't asking for perfect. She's asking for honest. For someone who shows up even when it's hard. For someone who communicates instead of disappearing. I was there in the hospital when she told it to you."
"I can do that," I said, more to convince myself than him.
"I believe you can." Tommy's voice was serious. "But you need to believe it too. You need to really commit to being different. Not just saying you'll change, but actually changing."
"How do I do that?" I asked. "How do I make sure I don't fall back into old patterns when things get hard?"
"You remember how it felt when she left," Tommy said simply. "You remember that week of thinking you'd lost her forever. You remember how much it hurt and how much you regretted every choice that led to that moment. And then you use that memory to make better choices going forward."
I thought about that week. About the hollow feeling in my chest every time my phone rang and it was not Sage. About lying awake at night wondering if she had married Diego. About the certainty that I had destroyed my own happiness through cowardice and fear.
"I never want to feel like that again," I admitted.
"Then don't." Tommy's voice was firm. "Don't make the choices that lead to that feeling. Choose differently. Choose her. Every single day, choose her."
"I will." It was a promise to Tommy, to Sage, and to myself. "Every day. No matter what."
Tommy smiled. "Good. She deserves someone who fights for her, someone who shows up."
"She deserves better than me," I said honestly. "But I'm going to spend my life trying to be worthy of her anyway."
"That's all any of us can do." Tommy looked across the room at Sage. "Love the people who matter and try like hell to be worthy of them."
We watched her for another minute, and I felt that surge of gratitude that she had come back, that I had another chance, that I had not lost her forever through my own stupidity.
"You know there's one more person whose opinion matters," Tommy said quietly.
I followed his gaze toward the door, as if expecting to see Jaxon wheel through it at any moment.