Chapter 162 Jaxon is awake
Sage's POV
Jaxon woke up and the first thing he asked for was me.
The nurse came to get me from the waiting room where I had been dozing in an uncomfortable chair. I was on my feet and running toward the ICU before she finished telling me he was awake.
When I burst into his room, Jaxon's eyes were open. They were glassy and unfocused from the pain medication, but they were open and looking at me.
"Sage," he whispered, his voice rough and weak.
I grabbed his hand and started crying. "You're awake. You're okay. I was so scared."
"I'm okay." He squeezed my hand with what little strength he had. "Stop crying."
"I can't." I was laughing and crying at the same time. "You almost died, Jaxon. You can't tell me not to cry."
He tried to smile but it came out more like a grimace. "What happened? Where's Dante?"
"Dead. Ryder shot him." I did not mention that it had taken a bullet to the head to make sure Dante stayed down this time.
"Good." Jaxon's eyes started to drift closed again. "Tommy?"
"Alive. Recovering in another wing."
"And you? Are you okay?"
I nodded, even though I was not sure that was entirely true. "I'm fine. You need to rest."
"Stay," he said, his grip on my hand tightening slightly.
"I'm not going anywhere," I promised.
He drifted back to sleep and I sat there holding his hand, overwhelmed with relief that he was alive and talking and going to be okay.
Diego appeared in the doorway a few minutes later with coffee and a sandwich wrapped in plastic.
"You need to eat," he said, handing me the food.
“You know food is not allowed in the ICU.” I teased him. I was not hungry but I took it anyway because he was right. I could not remember the last meal I had eaten, except the snacks he brought me.
Diego did not stay in the room. He gave me privacy with Jaxon and went to coordinate with Elena about something. I was grateful for both his presence and his understanding of when to step back.
Over the next few days, Jaxon's condition improved steadily. He stayed awake for longer periods. The doctors started talking about moving him out of the ICU soon. He was still in pain and weak as a kitten, but he was alive and healing.
Diego brought me food three times a day and made sure I ate at least some of it. Elena handled all the external pressures so I could focus on Jaxon. The Blood Sisters crew rotated guard duty outside Jaxon's room even though the threat was over.
Steel Wolves brothers started visiting once Jaxon was awake enough for company. They brought flowers and balloons and updates about the club.
"Ryder's been made acting president while you recover," Snake told Jaxon during one visit. "He's handling everything. The police, the feds, the funerals. He's doing a good job."
Jaxon nodded weakly. "Good. He'll be a better president than I was."
"Don't talk like that," I said. "You're going to be fine."
The brothers always asked how I was doing. They told me to let them know if I needed anything. They mentioned in passing that Tommy was doing well, getting stronger every day and probably going to be discharged soon.
But none of them mentioned Ryder visiting Jaxon. And when I asked, they got uncomfortable and changed the subject.
"How is Ryder doing?" I asked Snake directly one day when he came to visit.
"He's good. Busy with club stuff but good."
"Has he been by to see Jaxon?"
Snake shifted his weight from foot to foot. "I don't think so. He's been pretty focused on Tommy."
I nodded like that was perfectly reasonable. "That makes sense. Tommy's his only real family."
But it did not make sense to me. Jaxon was Ryder's brother too, in all the ways that mattered. They had known each other for years. Ryder was acting as club president in Jaxon's place. And he had not come to visit even once.
More than that, he had not called me, had not texted. Not even a single message through any of the brothers who visited.
That was six days of silence.
I told myself he was dealing with his own crisis. Tommy had been shot. Ryder had every right to focus on his own family.
But Diego had been through a lot too that night. Diego's men had died in the attack. He lost innocent guys that had absolutely no business with Dante and his issues. He had just as much to deal with, and he still managed to show up every single day for me.
The contrast was impossible to ignore.
On the seventh day, I finally acknowledged what I had been avoiding. The silence from Ryder was not just about Tommy. It was a choice, a statement about priorities.
And I was not his priority.
Diego noticed the change in me that day. He always noticed.
"Are you alright?" he asked when we were alone in the hallway outside Jaxon's room.
"No," I admitted. "But I will be."
He did not push for more details. He just nodded and stayed close, steady and reliable like he had been since the night everything fell apart.
That evening, after Diego left to handle some business and Elena went to check on the security rotation, I sat alone in the waiting room and reflected on everything that happened.
Ryder said he loved me. He said he wanted to be with me. He held me and kissed me and made me believe we had a future together.
But when things got hard, when we both needed each other most, he chose to disappear and pretend I did not exist.
Diego, on the other hand, had been there every single day. He brought me food and coffee. He made sure I slept. He held me when I cried and gave me space when I needed it. He coordinated with the police and the feds so I did not have to face them yet. He stood between me and everything that tried to drag me under.
I did not love Diego. In fact I could argue that I hated him a bit before the day of the shooting.
But he was showing me what it meant to actually be there for someone. And Ryder was showing me what it meant to abandon them when they needed you most.
I pulled out my phone and stared at Ryder's contact information. My finger hovered over the call button.
Then I put the phone away.
If he wanted to talk to me, he knew where I was. If he wanted to check on Jaxon, he knew which wing and which room. If he cared at all, he would have shown it by now.
The silence told me everything I needed to know.
I thought long and hard, and I made a decision.
And the next morning, I walked into Tommy's hospital room to talk to Ryder.