Chapter 106 MISERY AT ITS PEAK
AMBER’S POV
I woke up with a sharp breath, my chest rising too fast, my body tense like I had been running. The room was quiet, too quiet. Pale morning light slipped through the curtains, soft and calm, like nothing bad had ever happened. My head hurt, heavy and foggy, and when I tried to hold on to the dream I had just escaped from, there was nothing there. There were no images or sounds. Just a deep sense of loss sitting in my chest.
I stared at the ceiling for a long time, waiting for my heart to slow down.
Then it hit me again. Trent.
My throat tightened, and my eyes burned. I turned my face to the side, pressing it into the pillow, but it didn’t help. The pain didn’t fade, it never did. My brother was gone, and no matter how many times I woke up, that truth stayed the same.
A quiet knock came at the door before it opened. My father stepped inside, his presence filling the room without effort. He looked older than I remembered. Not weaker, just heavier, like the weight of the pack had settled fully on his shoulders again.
“You’re awake,” he said.
I nodded once because talking felt impossible.
He walked closer, stopping beside the bed. “You shouldn’t try to get up.”
“I wasn’t,” I whispered.
My body felt like it didn’t belong to me anymore. Every limb was heavy, drained. Even breathing felt like work. The healers had warned me that I had pushed myself too far. Grief didn’t care.
“Your brother’s burial will be at sunset,” my father said gently. “I’ve taken over the planning.”
That sentence cut deeper than I expected. Not because I didn’t trust him, but because it made everything final.
“You didn’t ask me,” I said.
“You’re not well enough,” he replied. Not harsh, just firm. Alpha voice. The one he hadn’t used in a long time.
I swallowed. “I should be there.”
“You will be,” he said. “But you will not carry this alone.”
I turned my face away, blinking fast. “I didn’t even dream of him,” I said, my voice breaking. “It feels wrong.”
My father rested a hand on the edge of the bed. “Grief doesn’t follow rules, Amber.”
I wanted to scream. I wanted to argue. Instead, I lay there, weak and shaking, while the world moved on without my permission.
Outside my window, I could hear the pack gathering. Low voices and careful steps like they were scared of breaking me even though I was already far beyond broken. Everyone is already adjusting to life without Trent.
And I was still here, trapped in a body that wouldn’t move, trying to breathe through a pain that felt endless.
After my father left, the room felt empty again. Too big and too quiet. I listened to the sounds outside, trying to place faces to voices. Warriors and elders and also pack members who had loved my brother in different ways. Everyone mourning him, while I lay useless in bed.
I hated that part the most. Trent even though he had ways of doing his things was the best brother I could ever ask for and even though we had our differences, I could never trade his love for anything. He had protected me to the best of his ability, shielded me and made sure no harm came to me in his own way. I would never forget any of that even though I tried as much as possible to live with the fact that he was truly gone and for good.
“I miss you.” I muttered.
I tried to sit up, but my arms shook and failed me. The effort left me dizzy, my vision blurring for a second. I fell back against the pillows, angry tears spilling before I could stop them.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, not sure who I was saying it to. Trent, the pack and myself.
A healer came in later, checking my pulse, my temperature and my strength. She said I needed more rest and more time. Like time had ever fixed anything that mattered.
“They need you alive,” she said softly. “Strong later, if not now.”
I turned my head away. “He needed to be alive too.”
She didn’t argue, she just covered me with a blanket and left.
As the hours passed, memories came instead of dreams. Trent was laughing too loud and he was standing in front of me during my first real fight as he promised me he’d always come back.
The promise burned the most because now, I knew that wasn’t possible. My mind went to Derek and I wondered how he was feeling now. This affected him as much as it did to me and even though I shouldn’t blame him, I couldn’t help but feel that this was equally his fault. There were so many opposing sides when ideally, we should have settled for peace.
When my father returned, he looked ready. His armor was on and his face was set for him to be the Alpha again.
“The pack needs order,” he said. “They need to see stability.”
“And what do I need?” I asked quietly.
He paused just for a moment. “You need time to heal.”
I laughed bitterly. “That’s the answer to everything.”
He met my eyes. “You are still my daughter before you are anything else.”
That almost broke me and I didn’t know how much I needed to hear that until he said it.
As he turned to leave, I called out, “Did he suffer?”
He stopped as his back stiffened. “No,” he said after a beat. “It was quick.”
I nodded, holding onto that small mercy.
When the door closed, I stared at it, my chest aching with everything unsaid. The pack was changing. My father was leading again and Trent was gone and I was still here, weak, grieving, and unable to step into the world that was already moving forward without my brother.
Somewhere deep inside, beneath the grief and exhaustion, something dark and restless stirred.
I didn’t know what it was yet but I knew this wasn’t the end of what Trent’s death w
ould cost us.
Fractured Alpha’s Burden