Chapter 31
Chapter 31
I take a quick shower and grab the first clothes my hand touches. I think what I’m wearing looks decent mom doesn’t react violently, or maybe she just understands we’re running out of time.
We arrive on set at 10:27 a.m., and I’m relieved that Mr. Archer and the director don’t look like they’re ready to murder me.
“Harry told us what happened, so we understand why you’re late.” Mr. Kite says.
“I’m really sorry.” I say.
“Make sure this is the last time.” he replies.
I promise, and we start shooting.
It’s easy to sing a song—whether someone else wrote it or I did—but it’s hard to sing when I’m in pain. While I sing, I wonder how other singers manage to sing while crying, when I could barely finish the song yesterday.
Back at camp, I sang the songs I wrote for Britney without breaking down even once. But yesterday, I miss Harry so much that I can hardly get through it.
“Okay, great job, Elise,” Mr. Kite says. “Sing it again.”
He says we’re releasing my debut single before the end of the month. That gives us two weeks to finish shooting—not to mention editing. I don’t know if I should feel excited about the release, the album, or the tour. I feel a little excited… or maybe I’m just forcing myself to be.
After the shoot, Harry waits outside, holding his phone.
“What are you doing here?” I ask.
“We’re going somewhere.” he says.
“It’s already 12:05 a.m. No one told you to come over.” I say, trying to hide my laughter.
“Come on, don’t make it hard for me to ask for your time.” He looks at Mom.
He’s so cute when he pleads.
“No,” I say. “I’m tired.”
“Yes,” Mom says.
I turn to her, my mouth wide open. “Mom?!”
“I’ll drive you, Mrs. Hernandez.” Harry says.
So we drop mom off first, and then he drives us—somewhere. He won’t tell me where we’re going. He even blindfolds me. Another surprise. He really loves midnight drives. I don’t know why.
“Baby, where are we going?” I ask for probably the hundredth time.
“It’s a secret, babe. I already told you.” he says, giving me a peck on the cheek.
I don’t even know it’s possible to roll your eyes with your eyes closed, but I just did. The car stops. Harry unbuckles my seatbelt.
“Should I take this off now?” I ask.
“Not yet.” he replies.
“Ugh,” I groan.
Harry laughs, hops out of the car, and opens the passenger door. “And now…” he says, “we’re here.” Then he removes the blindfold.
“We’re… at your apartment?” I stare at him, confused.
Confusion clouds over me—until I realize what he really wants tonight.
“Yes,” he says. “At my apartment.”
I start slapping him. He covers his face. I feel disgusted—with him, and with myself.
“Ouch! What are you doing?!” he asks in surprise.
“HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT I’M GOING TO GIVE MY VIRGINITY TO YOU? HUH?!” I yell at him. “ARE YOU GOING TO RAPE ME?! HUH!?”
Harry stop covering his face. Staring at me like I’ve lost my mind, he laughs. “I’m not going to ask you to have sex.” He says the ‘sex’ in disgust.
“Then why are we here?” I ask.
He ignores the question. “Come here—I’ll show you.”
He opens the door and flicks on the light. I follow him into his room. It’s a mess—total chaos, like a tornado passed through and left nothing but wreckage. Crumpled papers are scattered all over the floor. His mattress is a cluttered heap. A mirror lies shattered on the ground.
“What happened here?” I ask, baffled.
“Uhm…” He looks around, a little embarrassed. “I tried to write a song for you, but I couldn’t. Still… I ended up writing one. And I want to play it for you. Tonight.”
“Why not tomorrow? Or another day?” I ask.
“What day is today?” he asks back.
“May 19th,” I reply.
“What happened a year ago?”
Two years ago… the camp.
“The camp,” I say.
“The day I first saw you. May 19th, two years ago.” He smiles at me.
I return his smile. “Wow. You remember every detail.”
“I also remember what you were wearing. Blue tank top, faded blue jeans.”
I’m speechless. He leans in and kisses me on the forehead. “Sit down.”
I sit on the floor while he grabs his guitar and tunes it. I don’t know how I ended up here, but somehow, none of that matters. I can see it in his eyes—how much he loves me. Especially when he found me broken, when I had even forgotten how to love myself… and he loved me anyway. He reminded me how.
He glances at me. “Can I start?”
I nod, smiling.
He strums the guitar and sings:
Her smile,
Her style—
Looks so perfect.
The way she looks at me is all I need.
The way her eyes pierce,
I thought she peered…
(Chorus):
For me, she’s beautiful.
For me, she’s got it all.
But she hates it when I talk to her.
She has sparkling eyes—
Every time she catches my glance,
It burns inside.
I can’t breathe every time I see her here.
That’s the way she affects me.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh…
That’s the way she affects me.
She’s so talented,
Her voice—lingering.
I don’t know what I’m feeling.
Our past makes it harder to see the future.
But this is what my heart is saying,
Even if my head reacts differently.
\[Chorus repeats\]
I have to tell her everything I know.
But I’m scared she’ll hate me.
My God, I thought…
I was stupid enough,
But I never knew I could be even more stupid.
(Chorus II):
She’s beautiful.
She’s got it all.
But she hates it every time I talk to her.
She’s staring at me over there—
And it burns inside.
Every time her eyes pierce me,
That’s the way she affects me…
That’s the way she affects me.
The song ends.
I smile. “I never thought someone would write a song for me.”
“Remember when I told you, ‘I want to kiss you’?” he asks.
I nod. That moment is burned into my memory.
“After that… I wrote this song. ‘She Affects Me.’ I never thought I could fall in love with you,” he shrugs. “It just happened.”
“I love it,” I say, leaning in to kiss him.
I still can’t understand how every time we kiss, it feels like the first time. There’s no one who makes me feel safer than Harry.