Chapter 45

Malamig ang gabi at bilog ang buwan sa kalangitan. Kasalukuyan silang nakaupo palibot sa isang bonfire sa gilid lang ng baybay dagat. Halos sampu silang lahat. Nakangiti at nagtatawanan. May kumakanta pa ng isang kantang pamilyar kay Gideon.

Napatingin siya kay Analisa. Nakangiti at natatawa ito habang nakatitig sa bonfire. Nasa tabi nito si Arnel na nagkikuwento. Napangiti siya. He's happy that Analisa can smile despite their conversation earlier this morning.

Ilang minuto matapos ang masayang kuwentuhan ay tumahimik ang grupo. Umikhim ang leader nila. Si Zion Victor Desmantes.

"Kumusta ang buhay?" ngiti nitong tanong.

Natawa ang ilan. Nagtaas ng kamay ang babaeng katabi ni Gideon. "The Lord blesses my life po, Kuya Zion."

"Thanks be to Him." Nilibot ni Zion ang tingin sa kanila hanggang huminto ang tingin nito sa kaniya. "Gideon, ilang buwan din na hindi ka dumalo. Kumusta ang buhay?"

Ngumiti siya. "Under God's grace pa rin, Victor."

Ngiting tumango si Zion. "Indeed, we are justified by grace alone."

Kumanta na muna sila ng ilang praise hymns saka nagdasal. Tahimik lang si Gideon habang nakikinig sa dasal ni Zion. Pagkatapos ay sabay-sabay silang sumigaw ng, "Amen!"

Marahang ngumiti si Gideon. With the busy life in the city and restlessness in his soul, this is a good way to unwind. Malayo sa lahat ng bagay na hadlang para maging payapa ang kaloob-looban niya.

It's been long long years of sufferring and Gideon want to end that all. Now.

"What do you want us to talk under moonlight?" tanong ni Zion.

"Temptasyon, Kuya Zion. Gusto kong malaman kung paanong nagli-lead sa kasalanan ang isang temptasyon," sabi ng babaeng nagsalita kanina.

Napaangat siya ng tingin. 'Yan din ang gusto niyang pag-usapan ng grupo nila. He's been in a constant battle with temptation. Gusto niya ring malaman kung bakit maraming nalulong sa kasalanan, gayong alam ng tao na kasalanan ang ginagawa nila.

"According to Pastor David, temptation is not an event but it is a process."

Lahat ng mata ay nakatutok kay Zion. Nakinig naman siya nang husto. At kahit pa maingay ang hampas ng alon sa likuran niya ay tinuon niya ang pansin sa sinasabi ng leader ng grupo.

"You were tempted before you've sinned.  How come you did that sin on Friday night? It's because you didn't change channel last Monday. You didn't delete the picture last Tuesday. On Wednesday, you keep on reading the same contents you've seen last Monday. On Thursday, you didn't skip that advertisement... and finally, you've sinned on Friday. As simple as it is... a process."

"Parang ano lang Kuya Zion, kung i-a-apply ang logic, nagfi-feed lang sa laman mo. Maliit na gawaing nagli-lead sa kasalanan," manghang sambit ng babae kanina.

Tumango si Zion. "According to 1 John 2:16, For all that is in the world --- the lust* of flesh, the lust* of eyes, and the pride of life --- is not of the Father but is of the world.

This means that all sin falls into these natures: lus* of flesh, lus* of eyes, pride of life. Whatever sin that is, it always falls into that three."

"Yon pala 'yon, brother!" sabi ng isang lalaki. "Yan 'yong nabasa ko sa Bibliya. Ngayon ko lang naintindihan."

"Praise God for the His wisdom, brother."

"How can you relate it to the first temptation, Kuya Zion?"

"First temptation?" Ngumiti si Zion. "In Genesis 3:1-6, mababasa natin doon na tini-tempt ng serpent si Eve. On verse 6, there it was written,

The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too."

Nagpatuloy si Zion. "Dito natin makikita ang tatlong ugat ng kasalanan. Lust* of eyes was in 'the tree is beautiful.' Lust* of flesh was in 'the fruit looks delicious.' Pride of life was in 'the woman wanted the wisdom it would give her.'

You see, the devil knows how to lure people into a state of weakness. Even in the first temptation, the enemy targeted human desires for humans to fall into sin.

Don't be surprised that these three were used by the enemy to tempt Jesus in the wilderness. We can read that in Matthew chapter four.

First, Satan tempted Jesus, being hungry, to make the stone as bread. That was lust* of flesh. Second, Jesus was tempted to throw himself down from a high place, as Satan present Him the scripture saying that the angels of God will minister to Him. That was the pride of life. Lastly, Satan showed all the nations to Jesus and promised to give it to Him if He will worship him. That was the lust* of eyes.

All of those temptations were overcame by Jesus by rebuking the enemy using the Word of God. And it was written, Jesus was tempted yet without sin. This means that being tempted is not sinning but failing into temptation will lead into sin.

As Jesus taught us to pray this, 'lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil one.' and not 'help me when I get into the temptation.' So we must NOT put ourselves into the place of temptation, but we must run away from temptation.

Pero sa nangyayari, tayo mismo ang naglalagay sa ating mga sarili sa temptasyon. Tayo mismo ang humahakbang palapit sa temptasyon, hoping that God will help us when we got troubled by temptation."

Napatungo si Gideon at natawa. Maging ang ilang kasamahan nila ay natawa rin. Hindi niya maipagkakailang totoo ang sinabi ni Zion.

"If you are an alc*holic, don't go to bars where there is a lot of liquors or attend to parties when you know that there will be drinking in there. Or if you are a p*rn-addict, don't go to websites where there are a lot of lustf*l contents.

Why would you cry out to God saying, 'God, the enemy is tempting me! Help me get out of it!', when in the first place it's you who put yourself right in the face of temptation?

You remember in 1 Corinthians 10:13, it was written that... No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Surely, there are temptations that will come into your way to test your faith. At sadyang napakabuti ng Panginoon na hindi ka Niya hahayaang malagay sa temptasyon na hindi mo kayang lagpasan.

Pero minsan, tayo ang naglalagay sa ating sarili sa temptasyon na hindi natin kayang lagpasan, kaya marami sa atin ang nahuhulog sa kasalanan.

And when you sinned, you will feel shame and guilt. Shame and guilt will become a burden to you... like a heavy stone laid onto your shoulders. You start to feel restlessness.

You feel frustrated by the fact that you promised God, you will not do it again, but you still find yourself doing the same sin again and again. And you start to distance yourself from God, thinking of the shame and guilt. You will no longer do fellowship with other believers, feeling afraid of the light, because the light exposes sin."

Nagkatinginan sina Gideon at Arnel. Napatingin siya kay Analisa. Nagtama ang tingin nila pero agad nag-iwas ng tingin ang babae.

He remembered that Analisa was a s** slave of some rich business tycoon in Cebu. Pero matapos niya itong maligtas sa isang operation noon sa Talisay at makilala si Kristo ay nagbago na ito ng pamumuhay.

But Analisa confessed that she felt shame and guilt that's why she can not fully approach the throne of grace with confidence. He had prayed for her, and he hope now that Analisa do not have the same mindset she had years ago.

"Sin always attaches to human nature so we must learn how to subject the flesh." Huminga nang malalim si Zion at isa-isa na naman silang tiningnan. "Because flesh doesn't come and go, but strengthens and weakens.

The effect of temptation is a strengthen flesh,  that's why it is a process. Slow build up, slow process. Think of this example.

You were once delivered from p*rn-addiction. Days and weeks passed after deliverance, you are living peacefully.

Pero no'ng Lunes, nakakita ka ng isang palabas na may hubad na katawan. Imbes na ilipat mo ng chanel, pinagpatuloy mo ang panonood sa palabas na 'yon, thinking that it will not affect your spiritual life.

No'ng Martes, nag-Yo*tube ka at bigla nalang lumabas sa ad ang isang nakabikining babae. Nagpatuloy ka sa panonood, with the same mindset. 'It has no effect on your spiritual life.'

Miyerkules, nakarinig ka ng musikang may malalaswang lyrics. Imbes na patayin o ilipat ay nagpatuloy ka sa pakikinig dahil naaaliw ka beat ng kanta.

No'ng Huwebes, may nabasa kang isang istorya na puno ng malalaswang bagay. Sabihin nating puno ng se* ang eksena pero nagpatuloy ka sa pagbabasa imbes na ibaba ang librong tinatawag na erotic*. Dahil iniisip mong hindi ka naman makukulong kapag nagbasa ka ng gano'ng aklat at wala naman sigurong epekto sa spiritual life mo.

Pero pagdating ng Biyernes, palagi mong naalala ang eksenang malaswa sa aklat na binasa at ang video at advertisement na nakita mo no'ng nakaraang araw. Bigla ka nalang nakaramdam ng se*** urge.

Kaya nagpunta ka sa p*rn-site para manood ng malalaswang bidyo. Naghanap ka pa ng ibang malalaswang aklat na puno ng se* at binasa nang buo. 'Yang panonood at pagbabasa na 'yan ay hahantong sa s*xual immorality. Let's say masturbation.

Huli na nang mapagtanto mong bumalik ka sa dati mong ginagawa. Ginawa mo na ang gawaing pinangako mo sa sarili at sa Diyos na hinding-hindi mo na gagawin ulit.

And then you realize, what was written in the Bible is true. They are like the wise saying, “A dog turns back to what he has thrown up.” And, “A pig that has been washed goes back to roll in the mud.” (2 Peter 2:22)

Temptation is building up the strength of your flesh to caught you off guard in times of weakness. That's why you should stop the growing of your flesh by running away from temptation and not putting yourself in the place of temptation."

Natahimik ang grupo. Napatango naman si Gideon. Inisip niya ang kalagayan ni Jewel. She fell into s*xual nightmares, and maybe sin, because of reading books with se*** contents. She was tempted by those books. Yes, that must be the case.

Kumuha ng panggatong si Zion at tinapon sa bonfire. Lumakas ang apoy niyon.

"See how the fire increase when I throw the wood into it. Sa parehong paraan ay ang iyong kalagayan.

The wood is what you consume. What you consume will strengthen something inside of you.

Kung p*rn-addict ka at palagi kang nagpupunta sa mga sites na malalaswa, pinapalakas mo lang ang 'yong laman. Sa kabilang banda, kung palagi kang nagbabasa ng Bibliya o nakikinig ng musikang nagtutulak sa 'yo palapit sa Diyos, pinapalakas nito ang espirituwal mong aspeto."

Umikhim na naman si Gideon. "But why do people fall into sin when they know that sin is not good?"

"Because of the pleasure it brings," sagot ni Zion. "Sin inclines into human nature. And you know what the human nature is.

The very nature of human is selfishness. And sin was born from selfishness. The nature of sin? The lust* of eyes and flesh, and the pride of life? These three become the root of sin because it is loving yourself more than loving God and others.

It's your self-love. Self-gratification. Self-glorification. Self. All of that pertains to yourself. You. That's why sin is pleasurable because all of that inclines to your own selfishness.

Example are when you feel happy when someone throws false accusations to someone you hate, you love to see your enemies suffer, you want to have what other have, you seek praises and attention from others. All of these human desires and many other human desires will lead you to sin."

Napaangat ng tingin si Gideon. "So Paul writes we are crucified with Christ."

"Yes." Ngumiti si Zion. "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. (Galatians 2:20)

Crucified with Christ means putting an end to all of your ambitions, dreams, goals, desires, and everything about you to walk in the path of holiness."

"Amen to that."

"In order for us to avoid temptation and eventually avoid sin, we need to be in the presence of God.

When you are in the presence of God, you start to love what God loves and hate what God hates. Demons, temptations, and other things will not stand a chance if you are in the presence of God. All fades into the background, and your focus is to please and love God.

Sa mga believers naman na nahulog ulit sa kasalanan, there is still hope for them. It was written in 1 John 1:9, If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If you have sinned, don't run away from God. Instead, run towards Him and humbly ask for forgiveness. He is faithful to forgive us and cleanse us from unrighteousness.

Do not distance yourself from God if you have sinned, because doing so will only push you in sinning more against Him, and shame with guilt will just choke you to death.

Did you realize that when you are in shame and guilt, it is easy for you to fall into temptation? It is easy for you to give into the lust* of flesh and eyes and pride?

That's why in times like that, you should remember that you are forgiven after your humble and repentant confession. Even if you feel you're not forgiven, believe that you are forgiven. Because if you let shame and guilt to control your life, you are weak to all temptations.

Your  mind will think like this... I've sinned and dirty, so why bother fighting with this one?

But if you believe that you are clean, that you are forgiven, that you are a child of God... your mind will think like this... I'm clean and I am a child of God. I will not let this temptation win.

In other words, having a clean conscience will keep you from giving into temptation. Because temptation is also a challenge of your identity so you should know who you are and what is your identity in Christ."

"To sum up, brother, what should we do?"

"Read the Bible. Seek God in His Words. If you're desperate to seek Him, you will find Him. It was written, seek and you shall find. (Luke 11:9-10).

If you say it didn't work on you, then you're not truly seeking God. Because if you seek God with all your heart, you will definitely find Him. Let God be true but every man a liar (Romans 3:4)."

"Indeed," bulong ni Gideon. "If you will read His Word everyday and desperate to find Him, you will find Him. He is not a man that should lie, so if He said that you will find Him if you seek Him with all your heart, then He will honor His words. You will certainly find God."

"Have you found Him, Gideon?" tanong ni Zion. "Have you truly found Him?"

Ilang segundo siyang natulala sa tanong nito. Hindi siya makasagot. Ngumiti nalang siya. "Excuse me," paalam niya at naglakad palayo sa grupo.

Nagpatuloy ang pagkukwento ni Zion. Rinig niya ang boses nito at maya-maya pa'y halakhakan. Napatungo siya habang binabagtas ang mahabang baybayin. Palayo nang palayo siya sa grupo pero 'yon ang gusto niya.

Mas malayo, mas maganda.

Dumaan sa kaniya ang malamig at maalat na simoy ng hangin. Huminto siya sa paghakbang at tumingala sa buwan. Bilog at maliwanag 'yon. Kumikislap ang tubig-dagat sa ilalim nito.

Marahan siyang ngumiti at lumunok. Inilabas niya ang cellphone at binuksan ang gallery.

"I have found you years ago, God." Nanubig ang mata niya. "And I knew who You are. I know You're holy. At dahil Ikaw ay banal, hindi ako makalapit nang husto sa 'Yo.  Alam mo kung ano ang ginagawa ko nang pasikreto."

Lumunok siya at binuksan ang secret gallery. Doon, daan-daang litrato ng mga hubo't hubad na babae ang nakatago sa gallery na 'yon. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa cellphone.

"I am living in a lie. In hypocrisy. It is I who should repent. I'm sorry, God."

Inalala niya ang mga nabasang verses sa devotional niya sa nakalipas na mga taon.

"If you love Me, keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father to give you another helper, that He will abide with you forever." (John 14:15-16)

"He who sins is of the devil, for the devil have sinned from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, the He might destroy the works of the devil." (1 John 3:8)

"Pursue peace with all people, and holiness, without which no one will see the Lord." (Hebrews 12:14)

"But she who lives in pleasure is dead while she lives." (1 Timothy 5:6)

"Useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain. From such withdraw yourself." (1 Timothy 6:5)

"Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit." (Titus 3:5)

"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from s*xual immorality;

That each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God." (1 Thessalonians 4:3-5)

"Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are ad*ltery, f*rnication, uncleanliness, le*dness..." (Galatians 5:19)

For years, reading those verses were like reading a math problem to him. Dull and boring.

Tuwing devotional, para lang siyang nagbabasa ng academic textbooks na walang kainte-interesante sa kaniya. He was not moved by those verses. He was not convicted either.

But now, while memorizing them in his mind, there is this small pain in his chest. There is heaviness in his heart as he keeps on memorizing the verses while knowing that he is a hypocrite.

Bigla siyang napaluhod. Naluha. Napahikbi.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry..."

Kinuyom niya ang kamao at nag-angat ng tingin sa dagat. Luhaan niyang hinagis nang malakas ang cellphone.

The water splashed. His phone immediately submerged into the depths of the sea.

Run away from temptation as what Zion said. So he is now running away from the small stone that becomes his stumbling block for years.