Chapter 33 The Hasty Retreat

Chapter 33 The Hasty Retreat
Sienna

My heart finally began to slow.

Everything that had just happened—everything I had felt—had been too much. Too fast. Too intense. My mind had almost shut down trying to process it all.

But Roman…He spoke softly. Low. Steady. The way I used to when I worked with wild unbroken horses—careful, patient, never forcing, just… guiding.

And it worked. Each word, each breath, pulled me back from the edge, grounding me. Bringing order back into the chaos that had flooded my senses. And it hit me that I felt safe. So safe in his arms.

His scent wrapped around me—warm, grounding… cedar and something deeper, something wild and untamed that made my chest tighten in a way I didn’t fully understand.

For a moment, I just… stayed there. Breathing him in. Letting my body settle.
And then—Awareness hit. Hard. I was on top of him. Roman. Very naked. Very solid. Very—Oh. Oh.

My entire body went rigid as the realization crashed through me. Heat flooded my face so fast it felt like I might actually combust. And then I felt it—The unmistakable evidence of his arousal pressed against me. I jerked back like I’d been burned.

“I—sorry—I—” I stumbled over my words, scrambling off him in a hurry, not daring to look at him as I tried to put space between us.

My face was on fire. No—my whole body was. It wasn’t just embarrassment. It was… more.
A heat that felt too big, too overwhelming, like it was spreading under my skin with nowhere to go. “I need to—I’m just—I need a shower,” I blurted out, barely coherent, already backing away.

And as I scrambled off him, I saw a baleful look from the dogs nearby. “Oh God…they had witnessed me climbing him like a tree…” as Mei would say. That just doubled my mortification!
I didn’t wait for a response. Didn’t risk looking at him again. Or the dogs who were probably judging me. I turned and fled.

The dogs whined and I thought I heard him laugh—and mutter something about also needing a cold shower—but I didn’t stop to confirm. I just ran.

The moment I was inside my cottage, I went straight to the bathroom. Turned the shower on. Cold. As cold as it would go. I shed my clothes and stepped under it without hesitation.

The icy water hit my skin, shocking, sharp—but it barely made a dent in the heat burning through me. My body felt… strange. Different. Like it wasn’t fully mine. My skin hypersensitive, every drop of water amplified.

My chest still heaved, breathing uneven. My thoughts looping back—again and again—to him. His touch. His voice. His kiss. The way I had responded. The way I had wanted more.

I gripped the edge of the wall, trying to steady myself. This didn’t make sense. None of it did. And then—There was the other part. The one I couldn’t ignore. The connection. The recognition. Wolfie.

My chest tightened. I had known him. Before today. Before now. We had shared something deeper. Some parts clear and others my mind couldn’t quite reach, but my body… remembered.

“My mark…” I whispered faintly, pressing my forehead against the cool tile. What did that even mean? I forced myself to breathe. In. Out. Slow. Controlled. Again and again, like I always did when things got too much.

Eventually, the cold water began to do its job. The unbearable heat faded—slowly, reluctantly—until my thoughts weren’t racing quite as hard. Until I could think again.
I stayed there longer than I needed to. Until my skin pruned. Until everything felt… quieter. Manageable.

When I finally stepped out, I wrapped myself tightly in a towel, grounding myself in the familiar routine. Dry off. Get dressed. Focus. Order.

Yes, I believed him. That part was settled. But belief didn’t equal understanding. What did this mean? For me. For him. For… us.

And then my mind drifted—Nikolai. I froze for a second, my reflection staring back at me. I was seeing him tomorrow. And I felt something there too. Not like this. Not this overwhelming, consuming pull. But it was real. Wasn’t it?

My life had been simple. Structured. Predictable. Numbers made sense. Equations had answers. This—Emotion. Connection. My body reacting in ways I couldn’t quantify or control—It was too much. Too messy. Too complicated.

I exhaled slowly, forcing myself to center again. One thing at a time. That was how I handled everything. One step. Then the next. I got dressed, choosing something simple, comfortable. Normal. Grounding.

I focussed on the now —Mei would be here soon. Nathan too. That helped. People meant distraction. Structure. Something to anchor myself to while I figured this out.

Maybe I could even ask Mei…Carefully. Subtly. My cheeks warmed at the thought. Maybe not everything.

I shook my head quickly and moved into the kitchen. There were still salads to prepare. Sides to finish. Tasks. Clear. Defined. I focused on that. On the rhythm of chopping, mixing, organizing. Letting it quiet the noise in my head.

Because right now—That was the only way I knew how to keep myself from completely falling apart.