Chapter 21

Noah:

The bottom fell out of my world at the exact same time a million tethers came forward, latching onto the girl in front of me. It didn’t feel natural. At least, not in the sense that I could explain it. It happened all at once, with something inside of me breaking, then rebuilding around Reagan. It must have come from the fear settling in.

I wanted to kill Alex. Literally walk forward and break her neck for challenging my person to a fight. And I knew that was what this would be. She wanted Reagan dead, and she could get it.

But I couldn’t lay a hand on her. Not after a challenge had been issued. If I put a single hand on her, then it could compromise my position.

“What?” Reagan said. “What the hell does that mean?”

Pippa came in out of nowhere, getting between Reagan and Alex. Her canines had elongated, claws pushing out of her fingers as she snarled. “Touch her, and I’ll rip your throat out.”

I pulled Pippa back, putting her behind me as I stood in her place. “Alex, you have ten seconds to get out of my sight.”

“Or what?” she laughed. “Are you going to break the rules because you don’t want your little pet to get hurt? You break every other fucking rule, so I guess that wouldn’t be out of the question.”

The room got so, so quiet when she finished speaking. Leon looked on in anger and horror, all directed at the girl. He made no move to get her anymore, because the damage had done.

Reagan turned to me, eyes wide. “What the hell is happening? Is this a real challenge?”

“You bet it is,” Alex said. “And you have until tomorrow evening to tell me if you accept or decline. I look forward to you finding out what happens when you say no.”

“Noah can’t touch you,” Pippa said. “But I fucking can. Hell, I could even kill you in my own challenge once this is over.”

If Alex won against Reagan. In that reality, Reagan would be gone, and I had no idea what would become of me. I couldn’t hurt Alex for winning, even if she killed Reagan. It was an official challenge, and against an official and high-ranking member of the pack.

Catharine hand wrapped around Alex’s arm, squeezing so hard that I saw blood appear. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” she asked between her teeth. “You have no idea what you’ve done, do you?”

She yanked Alex away, the girl barely fighting her. Leon followed, but everyone else stayed.

I stood there, useless as I’d ever been. I should have shut Alex up. I should have known that she would go and do something stupid like that. But I didn’t know. I didn’t know, and now Reagan could die for it.

“I’m going to kill her,” Pippa growled, bringing roomy attention back. The kids had all come, gathered around Reagan like they could keep her safe. Nothing could keep her safe now.

“Noah,” Reagan breathed, her voice cracking. “What just happened?”

I swallowed, looking around at my family. They all stared at me like I could fix this. Everyone always looked at me like that. Some fucking alpha. I had no idea what to do.

“Take the kids home,” I told Pippa.

“But—”

“Go,” I ordered her.

Pippa gave a quick bow before she took the kids and headed to the door.

“My office,” Adam said from behind me. When I looked, he stood with Kara and their children. She said something to them, and they followed after Pippa. The four of us walked out of the room.

Adam had Reagan by the arm, speaking low to her as her labored breaths kept her from responding. Kara stood at my side, telling me it would be fine. She couldn’t believe that. Not really.

“Can someone please explain this to me?” Reagan asked, sitting on Adam and Kara’s desk. “What the hell is happening?”

Adam looked to me. I had to gather myself up enough to speak, because I wanted to be the one to tell Reagan.

“You’ve been officially challenged,” I said. “Typically, a challenge like this is for a role in the pack. No matter what, no one can replace you as my Mend. But in all likelihood, you would eventually be my and my mate’s second in command.” I paused, hearing my wolf chide me. He didn’t say words, but he thought me a fool. “Alex might be gunning for you like—” Again, I stopped. She didn’t need to hear about Leon wanting my place. “The point being, Alex doesn’t think you deserve to be as high up as you are.”

“But I didn’t choose this,” Reagan protested. “It just happened.”

“I know that. It doesn’t really change anything. You would be a part of choices I made. You’re about as high up as you can go, save for being my mate.”

When the wolf made more noise, I told him to shut the fuck up.

Reagan sat up straighter, her eyes flickering with something internal. A brief moment of resignation crossed her. “She wants me dead because of magic?”

“It might not be to the death,” Kara reminded us. “It could be to submission. Which is…”

Adam made a face. “Yeah.”

“What?” Reagan asked.

I put my hands on my sides, pacing in front of her. “You represent me. It’s not fair, but you do. If you lose this challenge, it’ll reflect poorly on the both of us. You’ll be seen as a weakness, and a weakness in me.”

“So, this is really bad timing,” Reagan said. “How the hell am I supposed to win a challenge against a wolf?”

“You don’t,” I said. “In the morning, you’re going to tell Alex that you decline.”

“Noah,” Kara said, jumping right in front of me. “She can’t. Imagine how you would look of she did that.”

“Fuck it,” I decided. “I would rather her be alive than me look better to the pack.”

“You need to think like the alpha you’re trying to be,” Adam said. “You’re only going to make Reagan a bigger target if she doesn’t do this. Everyone is going to know that to get to you, they go through her.”

“And?” I asked. “If they challenge her, then she can say no.”

“There are only so many no’s you can get away with,” Kara said. “And if someone kills her, we know what that would do to you. You’d be shattered and open for a challenge yourself. When someone loses a Mend…” She trailed off, looking to her husband who knew all too well.

“She can’t die,” Adam said, now leaning against the wall. “We need rules. Reagan, when you accept, these are your terms.”

“No,” I cut him off. “She’s not doing this.”

Reagan looked to me, but only for a moment before she gave her attention back to Adam. “Go on.”

I snarled, but he did as she asked. “Alex can’t shift. No magic is allowed in this fight. You square off in human form. It’s only fair. And to submission or a knockout. Not death.”

“What if she says no?” Reagan asked.

“Then she would look unreasonable, and that would reflect badly on her family. There’s already going to be a great many people angry with her for challenging an Alium.”

“Wait,” I said. “What if we let her use her magic? It’s powerful.”

“And I have no control,” Reagan told me. “If we go all out, then she can come at me as a wolf, and that’s it. My sister didn’t die so I could get murdered three fucking weeks later.”

I nodded. “Exactly. So, you’ll tell her no.”

“Noah.” My name came from her mouth like it was a baby bird to be cradled. “I can’t compromise your position. Not now. Maybe Alex is right. Maybe I need to prove myself.”

I walked closer to her, taking her hand without hesitation. I knew there were other people in the room, but I pushed them all away. They didn’t matter then. Only the two of us.

“Do you see this?” I said, hoping she understood I meant our hands. She nodded. “You did that. Do you get it? Do you see what you’ve done in less than two weeks? I can’t, I can’t lose you. I feel this thing inside of me. I don’t know what it is, but it’s like this screaming noise, and it happens when I look at you. Then you’re all I can see.”

Reagan squeezed my hands, her eyes going wide with recognition. “I feel it too,” she whispered. “Tonight. It wasn’t always, ya know? But it happened in a second. It was when Alex challenged me. Something snapped. I can’t explain it.”

Relief that she felt it too shattered my chest. It meant we were in it together. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”

“Noah,” Adam said behind me. “I need to talk to you in private.”

I pulled Reagan down from the desk, keeping her hands in mine. “We can talk in the morning.”

“No, this is urgent.”

I needed to get Reagan home, where she would feel safe. “In the morning,” I repeated with such heat that it had both Adam and Kara bowing. I knew it wasn’t right, but I couldn’t stand there anymore.

***

There were no pretenses. No timid knocks on the door. Reagan followed me into my bedroom, got into bed with me, and I held her throughout the night. I didn’t know how much Reagan slept, but I might have gotten a couple of hours collectively.

When it came time to get up, Reagan went first. She showered, the bathroom door opened just enough that I could hear her moving around. I sat in bed, waiting for… something. I didn’t even know what, really. I kept looking at the clock, knowing Reagan had a few more hours before she would be expected to give her answer.

“I’ve already decided,” she said when she came back to me. Reagan had dressed already, and leaned against the wall as I paced in front of the bed. “Your position is too fragile for me to bow out.”

“It doesn’t matter how I look. I’m alpha either way.”

“But if I tell Alex it’s just to submission, then I’m safe. I won’t die.”

“She won’t try and kill you,” I corrected, coming to a stop so I could face Reagan. “That doesn’t mean you wouldn’t die of your injuries or accidentally get killed. If she’s trying to knock you out and hits you, it would take nothing the blow to become fatal. Alex would have to actually make an effort not to kill you.”

“Okay, but wouldn’t she know she would get in trouble if she did that?”

“If it was to submission and she killed you, then yes. But if she doesn’t agree to it, then no.”

Fear flickered in Reagan’s eyes, and something throbbed painfully in my chest. I’d spoken the truth. I didn’t regret it. I shouldn’t have had to hide anything from her, and I wouldn’t even try.

“This isn’t up to you,” Reagan said. “I’ve made my choice. I’m not going to let a whole pack of wolves see you as weak because I’m who I am to you. If I have to prove myself, then fine.”

“Not fine,” I growled. “You aren’t doing this.”

Reagan stepped up to me, eyes locked onto mine and voice just as intense. “You don’t give me orders.”

“I do when you’re being careless.”

“Careless?” she snapped. “Are you fucking kidding me? I’m trying to help our pack.”

“It’s not your job to help. You don’t have to do anything.”

That seemed to be the exact wrong thing to say, because something in Reagan seemed to break. I felt it, more than saw it. I thought she would be sad, but rage flooded her expression.

“There’s nothing you can say to me that’s going to make me decline the challenge. This is about protecting your family. If they see me as a target, people are going to come for me so you’re weaker. I have to prove that I can take care of myself.”

I knew she was right, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to keep her in this room forever, because I knew I could keep her safe there. I wouldn’t have to worry about people coming for us.

“I did this,” I said. “Alex wouldn’t have said a thing to you if I had been doing my job.”

My calmness leaked into Reagan, and her voice was soft when she responded. “What were you supposed to do? You had kids to take care of.”

I shook my head. “It was more than that. My father died and everything fell to me. I knew it. I knew what my duty was, and I ignored it, and it had nothing to do with the kids.”

Reagan’s eyes roamed my face, looking for answers I’d never given her. “Then what was it?”

My jaw tensed. I didn’t want to say a thing, even to her. I did anyway. “I spent the last years of my father’s life hearing nothing from him other than what he thought of me. I got my mother killed. He said that to me. He looked at a child and said that to him, while he was grieving for his mother. There are only so many times your father can tell you you’re worthless before it sticks. My mother is dead, my father is dead, and now something’s going to come and take away my m—you.”

She took a shaky breath. “You didn’t get your mother killed.”

“You don’t know what happened.”

“I’m aware. Unless you killed her with your own hands, nothing that happened to her was your fault.”

“I made her leave,” I said. “That was what my father told me. Because of what I am. What I can do. You wanna know what magic I have?” I challenged her, aggressive when I had no reason to be. I couldn’t hold it back.

Reagan met my aggression with the kind of calm that only came with being so, so sick of my shit. “No.”

“What? No?”

“No.” Her arms crossed tightly over her chest. “When I find out what your magic is, I want it to be because you’re sharing it with me. Because our relationship is at a place where you feel comfortable. Not because you hate yourself and want me to hate you to. I don’t care what your magic is. You could be a damn vampire for all I care. I love you anyway. Dumbass.”

That tether pulled again, tightening and closing the distance between Reagan and me. I felt no give left in the tether. The tighter it got, the tighter it would remain. There would be no breaking it. No moving away.

“If you love me, then stay here,” I said.

“I can’t do that. You don’t get to use my feelings as a weapon like Alex wants to do with you. This is my choice and no one else’s.”

“You can die.” I stated, empty and dry. “You can die, and then what?”

“I’m not going to let myself die.”

Everything inside of me had been set on fire. “I can’t stand there and watch someone hurting you. Would you be able to that if it was me?”

“I don’t think so.” After a beat, she said, “We don’t have a choice.”

“You’re not declining because you think winning is not only going to happen, but because you think it’ll calm things down. Maybe you beating a wolf would piss someone else off. Maybe you’re inviting more and more challenges.”

Reagan gave a shrug. “I have no idea what’s going to happen. Leon is already looking for reasons to undermine you. Is this not one of them?”

“It would be if you were my mate.”

Her lips parted, eyes widening with the thoughts that must have been running through your head. “But I’m not.”

But I want you to be. I have two missed calls from Lucy to prove it.

“We have to go,” Reagan decided. “And you can hate me all you want for this, but I’m doing what’s best for the pack. It’s about more than making you look better. It’s about how I want the pack to see me. I’ve spent my life in the command of other people. This is my choice, and for myself.”

“I don’t hate you,” I choked on the sentence.

“Then take my hand,” Reagan said, extending it.

I walked with her out of the house and to the town center, feeling like I brought her to an execution. People stood outside, and they all watched us. They knew what happened, and they whispered about it.

Reagan let go of my hand when we walked into the council room. Sure enough, Alex was there. She had a book in her hands, sitting at a desk with her legs crossed. The council sat up on their pedestal, all looking up when we entered the room.

“You here to fold?” Alex asked, a smirk on her face. She winced, and I noticed the shadow of a bruise on her jaw. It hadn’t been there last time I’d seen her.

I took the book in her hands, and then threw it across the room. It hit the wall, then sank to the floor.

“I’m here to do my duty,” Reagan said, her hands clenched into fists at her sides as she faced the council.

Before she could speak, Alex cut her off. “It’s cute that you think you’re being noble.”

“Quiet,” I ordered the girl.

She didn’t stay quiet, rising from her seat and locking her eyes onto mine as Catharine told her to sit back down. “Get as mad as you want, but this wouldn’t be happening if you did what you were supposed to do. You let us suffer, and this is the least of what you deserve for it.”

“I am your alpha,” I said to Alex, leaning down to her. I pushed every ounce of rage I had into my voice. “You can take advantage of loopholes and rules, but that doesn’t change who I am. This is my pack, and I allow you to stay here. I might not be able to stop you from fighting Reagan, or kill you after, but don’t for a second think that your life isn’t going to be a hell of a lot harder now.”

She smelled like fear. She said nothing, but lowered her head in a half version of a bow. I would have only been satisfied if she’d submitted completely, but I knew that wouldn’t happen.

“Can I do this now?” Reagan breathed at me.

I nodded.

She looked back up at the council, taking another breath. “I’m here to accept the challenge issued by Alex Graham. On the conditions that we don’t use any magic, and she remains in human form. As well as a fight to submission or forced submission.”

Alex slid past me, walking until she stood beside Reagan. “I’m fine with a fight to the death.”

I wanted to tell her that no she fucking wasn’t, but Adam spoke first. “Those are not the terms Reagan set.”

“So what?” Alex returned. “They don’t need to be. I agree to everything but the death.” She turned to Reagan. “I think it should be dealer’s choice.”

“Alex,” Adam warned, his voice strangely worried. Kara tensed at his side, eyes on me. “There is no reason to fight to the death. This isn’t for power. You got wasted and did something stupid.”

That pulled all the humor out of her. “It’s not stupid that I want what’s best for my pack.”

“No, what you did was stupid,” Leon chimed in. “You challenged the most important person in our alpha’s life. Did you stop to consider that he’s got less than two weeks to find a mate, and killing his Mend would render him unable to function, let alone fall in love? Or did the cran-vodka just taste distractingly too good?”

“He’s not going to find a mate,” Alex spat out. “He’s going to fail, getting all those kids he shirked his responsibilities for killed. Honestly, with him in charge, they would be better off—” Reagan shoved her against the table, cutting her off with an oof.

She moved faster than I would have thought she could, getting to Alex before she had the chance to recover. Reagan took her by the hair, slamming her forehead down on the table before she turned her around.

“Don’t ever talk about those children again,” Reagan snarled. “I accept your terms. And after we fight and I win, I want you to remember that if you do a single damn thing to disrespect my family again, I’ll be the one issuing a challenge. I won’t have the mercy to let you live twice.”

Reagan took her up again, and then shoved her onto the floor. I didn’t even know what the hell I saw, because the girl had nothing of my Reagan in her eyes. That skin had been shed, replaced with something harder and ready to fight.

Alex scooted away from her, Catharine already on her way down the steps. Alex cowered, head bowed and hands on the floor in front of Reagan. I couldn’t deny that she radiated power in the moment.

Catharine gripped Alex by the shoulder, yanking her back before she got a slap to the side of the head. “Always poking bears! This is why there are so few of us. Have you learned nothing from your mother and father? Answer me!”

Alex said nothing. She stared at Reagan like she was the devil that held a blade to her throat. Reagan stared like… like she couldn’t take it anymore.

She ran from the room before I could stop her.