Chapter 13

Noah:

It was harder than I would have thought, trying to explain the ins and outs of being a wolf. Reagan understood it better than I’d expected, for someone fairly new to a complicated thing. An alpha’s titles could be passed through a lot of circumstances, and so few that would save my people. Really, only two, since I didn’t have any children walking around.

“I don’t like that guy,” Reagan whispered, looking around as if she would get in trouble if someone overheard her. I liked how wide her eyes got. Like she was surprised at her own words.

“I don’t like him either,” I said. “He’s gunning for my spot.”

Reagan gave me the funniest look. I saw anger in her eyes, and her nails pressed into her thigh as she glared at the door.

My wolf enjoyed that. I couldn’t even say I didn’t enjoy it too. “Yes? Have something to say?”

She rolled her shoulders. “I mean… you’re the alpha.”

“Yeah.”

She shrugged again. “He should step the fuck off.”

I grinned, experiencing genuine delight. “Weird to think you would be so defensive of my title. I feel like you want to smack me half the time.”

“I’ve been hit enough to not want that. Maybe I want to see you trip, but I would never hit you.”

I didn’t know what to say. I knew what the wolf wanted me to say. He wanted me to try and connect, telling her that my father had given me my fair share of bruises. My mouth even opened to say it, but I couldn’t make the words come out. No one knew. I didn’t want anyone to know.

“You get the point,” I said, deciding that would be safe enough to say.

“Maybe if you were less of an ass, we would get along better.”

“I like being an ass. It works for me. I wear it well.”

Reagan didn’t seem amused. Her eyes narrowed as she crossed her leg over the other, turning slightly to face me. “What are you going to do then? You need a mate, so are you looking?”

Looking wasn’t the right word. More like, not looking. Yeah, that fit better. “I need to. It’s not all that easy. Not only do I need to find a girl who has it in her to be an alpha, but one that’s willing to leave her pack for mine, and one that I can love.”

Reagan’s nose wrinkled. “As terrible as this sounds, do you really need to love her?”

“Yes,” I answered. “Mate isn’t partner. Mate is mate. It’s love and magic and nothing that can be forced or lied through. My wolf, the moon, and me all have to accept it, as well as whoever is on the other side.”

“Can you be mated to a person who isn’t mated to you?”

“Technically. A wolf can mate with anyone. Human too. The other party won’t feel it like I would, since only a wolf knows how it feels to mate the way we do. But even with someone who doesn’t have magic, that connection can form. It’s a bond that doesn’t break, even in death.”

Reagan tapped her fingers on her thigh. “So the fate of this entire pack relies on you falling in love.”

“Yup. And I have less than a month to do it before the biggest eclipse in I don’t know how long. It’s our chance to offer up more magic than we have in a long time, and I could fix everything. I just need to fall in love.”

“Well… Then I guess you should get on that, huh? Maybe there are some wolfy girls in a close by pack you can go check out.”

The door down the hall opened, and I caught Adam’s scent. I’d shirked my tasks for the day in favor of following Reagan around. I couldn’t leave her to her own devices. If someone spotted her and they happened to be uncomfortable with a non-wolf being this close to the pack, then Reagan could have ended up dead.

Instinct reminded me that Regan was absurdly strong and powerful. So powerful that people had been so scared or hungry for it that they’d kidnapped and tortured she and Elena, willing to keep them for years. In all likelihood, Reagan could protect herself. Even if she knew her power well enough to do that, it would have still started a war. If she killed a wolf, my pack would want me to be more loyal to them than Reagan. And I would have to be.

“Are you going to head home?” Adam asked when he found us.

“Wasn’t planning on it.” I stood up. “I’m sure you all need me for something. You made such a big deal about me being home and not helping.”

Adam sighed. “Being alpha means grunt work. Sorry, but it’s true. Why do you think we needed so many of us to cover the job normally one person takes? It’s a lot.”

“Well, I have kids to take care of. It would have been nice if I had someone backing me up when you all cornered me. How am I supposed to make sure my kids are okay when I’m here all the damn time?”

Adam looked to Reagan. “I have no idea what your plans are, Miss Zandi, but if you intend on staying, maybe you can help him out.”

“Don’t volunteer her as a babysitter,” I said. “I’ll figure it out on my own.”

Out of nowhere, I heard the sudden sound of chatter from a crowd. Even Reagan looked around, noticing the quiet thunder approaching. I couldn’t pick out any of the individual voices or the conversations being had.

It didn’t take long for me to see that it was actually a crowd of people coming into the building. They walked past me, not seeing and not noticing my scent. They headed toward the auditorium in a cluster, and it seemed like the crowd never ended.

“Pip,” I said when I spotted my sister with all of our siblings behind her. We all moved to the wall and out of the way, Reagan and Adam finding us before I could even ask why the hell everyone was here.

“What?” Pippa asked as Allison and Clare moved in to hug me. I patted their backs, making sure they knew I was happy to see them, even while being concerned. “You called us here.”

“Excuse me?” I asked.

Pippa’s black painted lips did that weird curl thing that happened when she was confused. “We all got the alert that you needed us for an emergency meeting. It said that you needed everyone here in ten minutes because you have something important to say. I’ll meet you after. I wanna get the kids checked in so we can get situated. Bye.”

I waved the kids off, not saying anything else.

Reagan poked her head between me and Adam. “Um, when did you call a meeting? You’ve been with me the whole time we’ve been here.”

I knew what happened. It didn’t take much thinking, with so few reasonable explanations.

“I didn’t call a meeting,” I said.

“Then who the hell did?”

Adam looked to her, an eyebrow raised. He was unamused, clearly. “The only people with access to send out the call are the council members, and Noah. My mate and Leon are the only other ones here, and Kara went home to check on our son. So…”

“What an asshole,” Reagan hissed. “Not Kara,” she added, turning pale. Fear, the wolf told me. Fear that Adam would get mad at the mistake. He wouldn’t, but I still wanted to growl in warning to him. “Why would Leon do that?”

“I have a couple of guesses,” I said.

“Are you going to go tell everyone it was a false alarm then?”

Adam and I gave each other a knowing look. When Reagan questioned it, Adam explained. “That wouldn’t look good.”

“So?”

“If it wasn’t for Noah’s little stunt with the last meeting, it would be fine. If he called it off now, then it would look like he was screwing with the pack. That won’t fly. It’ll make them respect him less and think he’s childish. He’s already so young for an alpha. Noah can’t afford that mistake.”

“Then tell them it was Leon,” Reagan said. “Why should you suffer for what he did?”

“Because then I would look like a fool,” I told her. “Leon wants to make me look incompetent.”

“Why? What good would that do?”

It would make him look better by comparison. Maybe if he did this sort of thing enough, it convince them they needed another alpha.

“I need to take care of this,” I said to Adam, already walking away. He could explain things to Reagan if he wanted to, but I didn’t have the time.

Everyone already sat inside of the auditorium, . I had no time to think up what I had to say as I slipped behind the curtain to hide for a few seconds. Again, I found myself about to stand in front of people who thought nothing of me. Who thought I couldn’t lead them, or didn’t deserve the title I had. I hadn’t asked for this. My father never thought I could do it. Well, then he shouldn’t have fucking died.

With a deep breath, I walked out to the center of the stage. I had no idea what I would say to these people. Leon could pretend all he wanted that he only hoped for the very best this pack could get. He really wanted to be one to deliver it.

I approached the microphone and stared out at the crowd. I thought that I might have known what it felt like to be Reagan. To not have any idea what to do and feel like you had a hundred million eyes on you after hiding so securely for an entire lifetime. I stood out in the spotlight now, literally and figuratively. I was a king who wanted to be a knight.

Clearing my throat silenced the room. All heads turned to me, and I saw Leon in the front row, his mate beside him. He smiled at me, nodding me along as if giving me permission to speak. I could have broken his neck.

“I’m leaving for a few days,” I said, but it couldn’t have been my voice. It had been, of course, but it didn’t come from my mind. It came from the mind of my wolf, guiding me when I didn’t know where to find the path. “As you all know, we’ve been weak lately. For too long,” I amended. “I’m going to fix that. I’ll be traveling to the Argento pack to look for a mate. While I’m gone, you will answer to Kara and Adam.”

It had been Reagan that gave me the idea. I would have thanked her later if it wouldn’t have given her one up on me. I couldn’t allow that sort of thing. She would use it against me, surely, and then she would get that smile again. The soft, proud one that my wolf liked so much. The one I started not to mind.

“I have every intention of finding a mate with the Argentos,” I said, wishing it weren’t true. “I realize that I’d failed you so far in my time as your alpha, but that’s over. No matter what it comes down to, you will have a true alpha with you during the blue eclipse. His mate will be there too. I’ll see you all in a few days.”

That felt like enough to justify the meeting. Alphas had plenty to worry about when they left the pack. All kinds of trouble could start, including rebellions that had the potential to end in death. I wouldn’t allow one to start.

I walked off the stage, leaving everyone to figure out when they thought they could to leave.

I went straight to the council room I knew the others would gather in soon. I stopped for absolutely nothing, knowing the kids would find their way home and Reagan probably hid somewhere safe. Adam probably tucked her into a room where she would stay until the building emptied out.

Sitting in Leon’s seat at the table, I put my feet up and waited. Leon still had a bag of snacks left out. His weakness was cheesy treats, I’d noticed over the years. That, and his lack of brain power. If he wanted to make me look like a fool, he would have to try harder next time.

I was crunching on a chip when Adam walked in with Leon, who looked as if he wanted to kill me. I smiled, waving before I tipped the bag into my mouth. Ah, delicious anger. It tingled on my tongue so pleasantly.

“Thanks so much for saving me the time of calling everyone,” I said, scraping mud off my shoe with my other shoe. It landed right on the papers Leon had been working on earlier. “I hate wasting my time with assistant work like that. I have better shit to do.”

Leon huffed, crossing his arms silently. He couldn’t say anything without incriminating himself. Delightful.

“You did well,” Adam told me, bowing. “When do you plan on leaving?”

Sometime after I told the other pack I was on my way. “Probably a day or so. Leon, do you want to go ahead and call up Emma Argento to let her know we have some matchmaking to do?”

“I’ll take care of it,” Adam said quickly. Good, it would have been better that way.

I scraped off the last of the mud before I got up. I started walking over to Adam, and I slammed the bag of chips against Leon’s chest. “You’re out,” I said. “Adam, you have something I need.”

“Do I?”

“A bat,” I said. “Where did you put it?”

He didn’t seem to understand at first. Then it came to him, and he held up a finger before he went to a cabinet in the corner. He brought me the baseball bat that had belonged to Reagan. She hadn’t asked for it back, but I knew it must have been on her mind. She had so little left of her mother.

I put the bat over my shoulder as I walked out of the room. It wasn’t until I’d left that I thought I should have asked where the hell Reagan went off to. Then I realized didn’t have to ask. I couldn’t smell her, but something in my chest pulled me along like a lasso had a hold on me. Sure enough, it brought me right to Reagan.

She sat on a desk facing a window in one of the classrooms. I’d found her staring at the woods a lot in the time I’d known her. What about them she found interesting, I had no idea.

“You ready to go home?” I asked. “I grabbed something for you.”

Reagan turned to me. It took her a second to see the bat. I got to watch her green eyes bulge as if I’d brought her to a volcano that had chocolate syrup oozing out from the top. She ran to me like a bullet, almost tripping over herself three times. When I held it to her, she took the bat from my hands.

Her fingers traced a name partially carved onto the fat side. Her nails dipped into the grooves, those green eyes welling already. I had no idea what it felt like to be Reagan, but the echoes of it started cutting into my chest. It felt like my hands held the bat. My eyes watering. My breath caught in my throat. I did lose my breath watching her, waiting for her to say something. I didn’t know what I wanted those words to be.

Reagan set the bat on a desk, hands shaking when she did it. Then her eyes locked onto mine. The wolf howled so loudly that my brain rattled in my skull. He commanded me, teeth bared and claws pushing at my fingers. He wanted. I lost the ability to deny his request.

But Reagan beat me to it.

“Thank you—” she got out, her arms coming around me. It was fast, when she’d grabbed me. Her hand had weaved into my hair, fingers brushing against the back of my neck first.

Something snapped into place. A puzzle completed. A thirst quenched when I hadn’t even realized I had been thirsty. I’d come up from the ocean, my head breaking through the water after twenty years of being under. My soul took in a wild breath, and it felt like I had never breathed before. Like my lungs had been working at half capacity. Now, now I knew what it meant to have air fill me. My nerve endings sparked to life as my greedy hands slipped under Reagan’s shirt. I had no fucking right, but I did it anyway, my hands pressed against her hips and feeling skin on skin. It had been so, so long since I’d freely let myself touch a person. And still, never like this.

Reagan pulled back to stare at me, lips parted as she took in heavy and uneven breaths, like me. Our chests pressed together with each of those breaths, the two of us frozen without knowing what to say.

She didn’t let go of me, and I didn’t let go of her. I just looked her over again. It was like I’d never seen her before. I noticed more. Like the green of her eyes. I thought I’d known the depth of them, but now I noticed so many greens in there, like flecks of colors placed with precision by the gods. Moss and grass and the angry sky of a tornado. And she aimed those eyes at me, and it felt like Reagan knew nothing of this world but the wolf before her. I noticed the way a thick strand of her hair always hung in her face, no matter what. One long tangle that I could twist around my finger and let loose again. It would bounce right back to where it belonged. And finally, I noticed how her body fit so perfectly against mine. Every curve pressed against me like we’d been shaped for the other. It was so strange.

“Oh my god,” she breathed. “Did we… Is that what it feels like?”

“I wouldn’t know,” I breathed too, sounding like a nervous laugh. “But we did… I guess that… I guess that’s it.”

What a stupid fucking thing to say. Our souls had just snapped into place together, fusing with the piece that had been missing. We’d become this permanent, unshakable thing.

Didn’t become, my wolf said. Always were. Just found the other half.

Other half. Reagan was my other half, crafted especially for me by the gods. All the stories always said that. They looked at us and wept, knowing that to be a mortal was something raw and painful. This had been their gift. Something to ensure that no one had to be alone. But it had been so cruel. The gods didn’t know that they were the source of so much of the pain they wanted to soften. Some people never Mended. Some lost theirs before they even knew them. Like Elena, and whoever didn’t find her in time. I found Reagan though. I’d found her and would never let go.