Chapter 75

GORIOLA ADAMS

To say I was expecting a message from her, and eventually got one made me extremely happy. I read, and read the message all over again before I was finally able to reply. Having read the message, I realize she considered me knowing I wouldn't want to appear anywhere. After I replied her message, I decided to call, backing up with some prayers to have her pick my call, but none of the four calls I made was picked. I knew it was intentionally, but then I was glad we were finally going to see, and talk things out. I was beyond ready, and eager to finally have her close to me. It was obvious she was mad at me, but then, I wondered if it was more than the mistake we both made.

Yes...it was more than that! To you, she was just like every other girl because you slept with her. You took out your anger on her, and mocked her right after what you did to her knowing you were the bad guy who lured her into it.

You got what you wanted, and threw it to her face. Was it a crime she liked you? Now you want her running back to you, picking your calls, and acting like you haven't hurt her. Don't even hope too much because she has moved on, and I guess you are wasting your time hoping you can charm her, and lure her again just like you did. You are still the fucked up guy Gori! Still the fucked up guy she met and must have been regretting it! All these she knew, and now she realizes she's better off without you! C'mon, there is nothing left to charm her again. I felt like she was replying me, but that was me being eaten up by guilt, knowing I had said some things that day too.

No matter how I thought I had apologized through a letter, it wasn't enough and was nothing like apologizing face to face for her to hear, and know I meant every word I

said in the letter. I became very troubled in my mind. My mind could not settle because it was filled with so much questions that came one after the other. Will she hear me out? Will she forgive me? Can I really charm her again? Jeez! I was feeling, and acting too vulnerable, and unsecured. I told myself I needed to be a strong guy. Any girl I care for will fall for me over and over again. I wasn't that fucked up! I stopped the voice in my brain before it could say otherwise.

It doesn't matter what she knew about me. It doesn't matter what she saw with me that day. It doesn't matter how I spoke to her that day. It doesn't matter how have acted in the past. They don't matter any longer. To me, they don't because they are all in the past! What matter is that I was ready to change all that with who I had

become.

I was ready to show her what matter is I still deserve every bit of the feelings she

showed me back in high school.

And this time, I knew I have to show her I still deserve it. I knew Jadesola like me. But it was hard as a guy who was liked by almost everyone, and you just didn't care because you really don't know which is true, and real. I remembered Sophie's statement the night after I fought at the pool party. "Gori never cares. Why now?"

I guess I found someone who made me want to. When I get to see Davery again, I was going to let him know, I want both. If it works out. I was ready to try, but there was one thing I just didn't know how to. How to express my feelings without letting my pride get the best of me.

I had attended meetings, and sitted on my seat all day working. It was almost time for us to meet like we planned, and immediately I left the office. I didn't care to change, or shower, or try to look all nice. The time meant so much to me. I was tired, and needed rest, but I wouldn't want to keep her waiting. I just rubbed my face, removed my jacket, loose two buttons from my shirt to feel better, and rolled my sleeves up to my elbow. I was anxious, and eager to finally meet her one on one. I wanted answers from her. If truly she was pregnant with my baby, I was ready to take up responsibilities.

I was no coward, and whatever I needed to do or say for mom and dad to accept my mistake, and look past it, I was ready. I wondered what was like to be a father. I had seen many fathers acting their roles, but I felt my life was just starting to become one so early. I agreed we meet at my elder brother, Manuel's restaurant. He wasn't back to Nigeria yet, and I was the one heading the place. It was one of the expensive restaurants in the city of Lagos. I wouldn't say only rich people could afford to come, but anyone who can save up his or her salary enough to have a glass of wine could manage to make it in.

"Is she here?" I asked the guy who assist me with some little works. I sent him down in an hour before getting there to keep watch.

"No." He shook his head. "Sir, are you okay? You are starting to sweat. All the air conditioner in this restaurant are working fine sir." He grinned at me.

I just threw him a look. Do I not look okay? Femi was just like that. I already told him the person I was meeting was important to my life, but he wanted to whine, and provoke me. He reminded me of how I do that to my best friend, Ayomide. And because Femi was just eighteen, I wasn't offended because he was still young, and needed to be himself. Also, he was just someone I like so much because he was good at helping me, and that was why he was still keeping his job. I sat at a secluded corner, and told him to stay out there watching. It was time already, but Jade wasn't there. I sat there waiting patiently, and after thirty minutes of sitting my butt on the warm sofa, she walked in majestically. Immediately she made her way in, it was hard not to recognize her. It was hard not to fix my gaze on her.

Every move she made was sexy, and beautiful. She smiled at someone who greeted her, and I felt jealousy rose from my heart.

I hope I could get one of her smiles soon.

You've gotten it before. You just didn't care then.

Arrrghhhh! I really do not need that at that moment. I didn't have my face cap or black shades because I wanted us to see each other without any covering. I wanted us to have a heart to heart talk. I wanted us to be open, and read each other's mind through our eyes, but I felt she was against that idea.

She was putting on a dark blue jean with a black long sleeve round top supported with a black belt. She wore a black sneakers, and covered her weavon which was successfully tied to the back with a black face cap, covering her face with a black sunshade as well. I signal to Femi, and immediately, Jade was directed to where I sat. Slowly, she sat down opposite me, and I suddenly lost my voice. I didn't know what and how to start a conversation. Despite hiding her face with the face cap, and sunshade, I could still see how beautiful she had become. Her curves were visible enough with what she was putting on. She added a little weight, and was no longer slim like before. What she had on brought out her shape and I couldn't stop staring. Her ample chest was hard not to notice because they got larger and fuller than before. God, I need my voice!

"Hi," she quietly greeted me as if she was told not to speak a word. It took me so long to reply because I had missed the voice so much. She wasn't looking up at me, even when she greeted me. After some seconds, I finally found my voice.

"It's really good to see you." "Same here," she responded.

"What can I offer you?" I was taking my time. I snapped at the waitress, but Jade shook her head in reply. "I'm okay."

"Please "

She finally looked up at me. May be shocked I pleaded. "Water," she agreed.

The waitress left immediately. I know guys are vulnerable when trying to woo a girl of their choice because they need to put in their best to impress them, but its a surprise how that change when they become intimate, as the girl becomes the vulnerable one, and as a guy, you feel more of a man. I felt more of a man that day, but now, I was back to that category. She was trying to keep a straight face, and it was so obvious. I cleared my throat. In my head, it sounded so unusual of me, but I needed to start expressing myself, so I managed to say it as slowly as I could. "I miss you."

"You already told me that."

I sulked back in. She wasn't helping. I decided to try again. "Jade, I mean it. I miss you. Apart from coming here to have a conversation, I don't want you mad at me anymore. I was right when I told you I was going crazy..."

"I should be visiting you at the hospital, and not here." Was she trying to piss me off intentionally?