chapter fourty six

Tammy's POV

We managed to find a way to take Jackson to the infirmary, without anyone noticing. I don't want to imagine the kind of problems that would have arisen if anyone did.

We did everything in silence, Adam and I barely exchanging words, except when it was necessary.

It was obvious that he was still shaken from what happened earlier. From my interactions with him, I realized how calm and composed he usually is. I would like to blame his violent acts on the full moon, just like Jackson attributed the reason for his kissing me to its influence.

It's unsettling, finally witnessing firsthand, the effects of the moon on the ones that don't become comatose.

Adam left to clear his head, leaving me to tend to Jackson's injuries. Jackson's jaw is swollen and discolored, a deep gash above his eyebrow oozing blood, and I suspect that he might have bruised ribs. Adam hadn't held back.

The effects were even worse because considering the circumstances, it was an uneven fight. Adam was in a fitter condition, as the moon didn't affect him too badly.

As I clean Jackson's wounds, I wrestle with conflicting emotions. I want to feel bad for him. I really do. But he was being deliberately provocative, and I think he deserves everything he got.

On the other hand, the thought of him falling into a comatose state, like some others here, is chilling. Even more so because it'd all be mine and Adam's fault.

'What if the events from the trance, come to play in real life?' The question echoes in my mind.

I hear the sound of the people chanting, "witch! witch! witch," and the order for me to be seized. The hard object connects with the back of my head, and that is when the image leaves my head, but the fear still lingers.

Adam returns, shutting the door quietly. He sees the worried expression on my face, and a silent understanding is shared between us.

"Tammy," he says softly, approaching me. I avoid his gaze, focusing on Jackson.

I'm still upset about him allowing his emotions to control him, and about the mess that he has caused. If he had just put some trust in me, if he didn't listen to Jackson's taunts, then all this could have been avoided.

It's much worse for me because he doesn't know what I'm afraid of. He doesn't know about the trance, about my life being in danger because of him... because of his people. What if they find out that I was there and somehow involved in the fight? They might view me as a threat. A human disrupting their pack's order.

"I'm sorry," he sighs. "I should have been more in control. I shouldn't have doubted you."

'Easy to say now.' I want to say. Instead, I remain quiet.

His gaze flickers to Jackson, a hint of worry in his eyes. "We have always been at each other's throats. But today, the thought that he had you, ignited something feral in me, and I acted rashly."

"What will you do, if someone finds out?" I ignore his explanation.

"I don't know. But trust me, nothing bad will happen. He'll be fine."

I swallow, nodding. "Okay." A beat passes by in silence, and then I ask, "Do you understand what happened? You're not usually like this."

"It's... the moon. Our emotions are usually amplified when the time almost approaches." He takes a deep breath. "But I'm also responsible. If I hadn't let my jealousy take over my reasoning... if I had listened to you, then it wouldn't have happened."

He rests heavily beside me on the bed, shoulders slumped. "I saw you two and I thought..." he takes a deep breath. "I thought, what if you chose to be with him instead? Especially after you refused my offer for a walk, then I found you with him-"

"So you assumed I'm easy, is that it?" I cut him off, unable to hear the rest of what he had to say. The hurt from the meaning behind his words feels sharp. "I told you what happened. It was his words against mine, and you chose his."

"No, Tammy. It wasn't like that. I was jealous. It felt like he had a chance with you, and I didn't," he admits. "And you're supposed to be my mate."

I push myself off the bed and begin pacing. "That's bullshit, Adam. I'm absolutely tired of hearing about this "mate" excuse, or whatever you have going on," I exclaim, flailing my arms. I'm tired of being reduced to a label. "Can you stop fucking referring to me like I'm an object that you can lay claim on? Give me a good reason, without involving the mate talk, would you?"

Adam's brows furrow, his hands clenching and unclenching. He looks at me, then away, clearly battling an internal conflict. It's as if he wants to explain, to justify, but is not able to find the right words.

He stands. "What other reason is there to give? You are my mate," he says, his voice firm. "Whether you choose to accept it or not."

"Right," I say, a bitter laugh escaping me. "It feels so good to know that you only see me as a mate. Not a woman who is grown enough to make her own decisions, but a mate. Not even a friend that you were worried was getting harassed by a member of your pack, but a mate. That just shows how much you would care for me if you didn't believe in that stupid shit."

It hurts to think that to him, I'm just an item that he owns. As much as I don't want to be affected by him, I can't help but be hurt by the thought that he wouldn't care about me, if that stupid belief did not exist.

Tears pool at my eyes, but before they can drop, I grab up my book, using it as a shield to my vulnerability. "I'm leaving." I storm out of the room.

He follows after me, calling my name. I ignore him, quickening my pace to my room.

I slam the door, locking it before he can follow. He pounds on the door. "Tammy, please. Let me explain!"

I need a moment to breathe, to compose myself. It shouldn't hurt this much, but it does.

I drop off the book on my bed. Going to the bathroom, splash cold water on my face. When I return, he is still outside. I ignore his pleas, crawling into bed. Eventually, the knocking stops, and I am left alone with the silence.