Chapter 19

When I was sixteen and in sophomore year, there was this boy in class who I suddenly couldn’t stop thinking about. Now, while that sounds romantic and whatnot, it pissed me off so much because I was not used to being confused by the male gender. But he had dirty blond hair, a straight nose and cheekbones that could cut through glass. His eyes were a breathtaking bright blue, and when he smiled it was like he lit up the entire room.

By the time I’d figured out what these feelings were, I was already in too deep. It was the first time I was liking anyone so I might have taken my feelings a little overboard. Which basically meant that I had stalked him around school until he finally noticed me. Probably the best thing I’d have done, since he liked me back almost instantly.

Trent had been a perfect sixteen-year-old gentleman. He’d made things slightly formal, asking me out on a date after taking permission from my mom, holding my hand in school, asking first before kissing me—which took him about a month to do, and most importantly, he’d officially asked me to be his girlfriend and I had accepted.

I was in way over my head though because as soon as he told me his father had been transferred to Denver as a promotion and his entire family had to move, I’d cried and cried and cried for weeks. As much as I would’ve liked to continue our relationship over the phone, it just wasn’t plausible and long-distance relationships were such a drag. I craved physical contact and I couldn’t imagine being with someone who I wasn’t certain I’d ever see again.

And so, we ended things.

Color me shocked. Trent was standing on my porch.

“Hey, Fireball.” He smiled that smile that always made me weak in my knees, and I took a deep breath as he called me his pet name for me.

I hadn’t spoken to Trent in a year. What was I supposed to say? “What are you doing here?”

A deep chuckle bubbled out from his chest. Oh, my. He’d matured physically, which did nothing for me because I kept thinking about how handsome he’d been almost two years ago and how it had to be illegal to get even more handsome.

“I’ve gotten warmer welcomes from a stone, Fireball.”

I licked my lips, suddenly feeling cornered. “I’m sorry. I… I’m just surprised, is all. When did you come back?”

“Today.”

And he’d come here to tell me? No. It just didn’t make sense. “Why are you here, Trent?”

The smile on his face softened as he held my gaze and I was acutely aware that I hadn’t moved an inch since I saw him. It was like my feet was stuck on the ground. Or maybe I was scared that if I did move, I’d shamelessly run and jump into his arms.

“You haven’t changed one bit, Lexi. You’re still the same fireball you were two years ago.”

“Trent—”

“I missed you,” he murmured, still holding my gaze. I didn’t know why I couldn’t look away, why his blue eyes held me transfixed. “Did you miss me?”

I scoffed, “What kind of question is that?”

“A simple one,” he replied.

I would give anything to know what he was thinking about. What did he think was happening? Was I reacting how he expected me to react? Had he hoped I would scream like a banshee and ran into his arms so we could pick up where we left off?

“I did miss you,” I told him because it was the truth. “I missed you when you left.”

My response seemed to pleased him because he was smiling that smile again. This time though, I willed myself to look away. It was too much. Memories came flooding back like a tap that had gone unloose and if I wasn’t careful, I might actually run into his arms for real.

“My dad quit and decided to open up his own firm back here. You can’t imagine how happy I am to be back home, to see you again,” he said, and then he was striding towards me with intention. “You’re even more beautiful now than you were then.”

He was close to me now, though not close enough that I couldn’t think straight. His entire family had moved back here again then. Which meant I was going to be seeing more of him often. I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.

“Trent,” I sighed at him. “I’m glad you’re back and it’s good to see you again as well but… things have changed.”

He chuckled. “What things? I bet you nothing changed.”

I sighed again, which I seemed to be doing more than was necessary. It was always like this with Trent. He’d always been so sure of himself and what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to go for it. He hated change and I could only imagine how relieved he was that things have finally gone back to normal for his family. Our little town was all he’d ever known.

It also meant that he did think that we could pick up from where we left off. And it wouldn’t be a bad idea, if I hadn’t been right. For the past few months, he’d lived in Denver. He must’ve made new friends and probably even had a girlfriend. Was it possible that he thought that while he was having fun, I was waiting for him to breeze back into my life so we could continue our love story?

I thought about Logan and how our relationship, or whatever it was we had, was only starting to pick off. I couldn’t just abandon him and go back to Trent. I didn’t even want to.

“Is this about the guy who dropped you off?” he asked, reading my mind.

I stared at him, not responding. Honestly, this whole thing was exhausting. I’d had a really long day and the last thing I wanted to have an argument. Maybe tomorrow, I’d think about it. or whenever I could spare the time. Or maybe even never.

“Boyfriend?” Trent pushed, not one to give up easily. “How long?”

I gave him a weak smile, then scolded myself for even getting embarrassed. I didn’t owe him anything. “We’re… something.” It was the best I could muster up without lying to both him and myself.

He snorted. “It’s not serious then. Thank God.”

Was he serious? “Thank… Listen, Trent. I don’t blame you for how our relationship ended but I certainly don’t think you should be thanking any kind of deity because at the end of the day, you left me. I had to stay here and get over you while you were over there doing God knows what with whoever. If you thought that I was going to pause my life waiting for you, then you don’t know me well enough.

And frankly, if you think that now that you’re back, we can continue from where we stopped, you obviously haven’t been paying attention.”

Suddenly angry, I walked past him to the front door. I’d had enough with men making decisions and not thinking I had any say in the matter. It was my life, my choice and I was going to decide who I dated and who I didn’t.

When I got to the door, I turned my head to look over my shoulder only to see him staring back at me with surprise in his gaze. “Go home, Trent. You won’t find what you’re looking for here. At least, not tonight.”