Chapter 42 Love (Ethan’s POV)
But the moment I said that, Adrian didn’t struggle with me. He knew better to try anything.
Instead, he smiled warmly, like we were best of friends. “That’s not your decision anymore to make,” he said quietly. I released him with a shove, like he weighed nothing.
“You think you’re winning something special?” I said coldly.
“No,” he replied. “I think you’re losing it yourself.” He slowly straightened his jacket and walked away, unbothered, like it meant nothing to him. I stood there for a few seconds, chest tight, pulse racing. That I was already losing? I didn’t lose to anyone, I was only destroyed.
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Later that same evening, I passed the kitchen again, but quietly, as if it wasn't my own. To my shock, Demilia and Adrian were still there, still holding hands and laughing. Still building something I couldn’t name, behind my back. Something warm, something human that I unknowingly crave to have.
Something I had never learned how to give without turning it into a weapon. My hand pressed flat against the wall on realization of things that I feared the most. The slow, unwelcome, undeniable realization. This wasn’t about rivalry anymore. This wasn’t about marking my territory anymore. This was fear gradually creeping in. Fear of being replaced, and not being relevant again. Fear of being unnecessary to her.
Fear of discovering rather too late that the one thing I claimed was weakness was the only thing she needed. I turned away before they saw me, before anyone would consider me a psycho. Because if I stayed any longer, I would either tear Adrian apart… Or admit the truth I refused to name since. And both options for reasons unknown to me terrified me greatly.
Demilia’s POV
I noticed it the third time Ethan paused mid step, to take a glance. Adrian was laughing at something I had said, though it wasn't anything important, just a silly comment about how he had added too much salt again, and as we were still talking, Ethan froze near the doorway like he had walked straight into an invisible wall.
He didn’t say anything to either of us. He never did,even when I expected him to talk.
But his jaw said more than his eyes could ever say. His shoulders stiffened by just staring at us. His eyes darkened in that way I knew too well now, the way that meant something inside him was gradually slipping out of control. And for reasons I didn’t want to examine too closely…
I liked it that way. That realization that a part of him wanted me, hit me harder than it should have.
I turned back to the counter quickly, pretending to focus on the pot simmering in front of me, but my heart had already started beating faster than it should, not because of Adrian’s presence, but because Ethan was watching us by the side. He has adopted the habit of always watching.
“You’re smiling now,” Adrian said softly. I glanced up at him, pretending to not know what he was talking about. “Am I?”
“Yes,” he replied, completely amused. “Either you’re very proud of this soup that I'm making, or something else is entertaining you outside what I have now.”
“Maybe I’m just in a good mood,” I said lightly. He studied me for a moment, then nodded. “I like you in a good mood, that makes me happy too.” The words were gentle, safe for me to handle, no pressure behind them.
That was the thing with Adrian. Unlike Ethan, he never demanded space in my life. He simply occupied it when I let him, and did that in the most gentle manner. And somehow… that made Ethan furious, that he was doing more than half of the things he couldn't do. I felt it behind me like heat against my back, but I stayed calm.
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Later that same evening, when Adrian had stepped outside to take a call, Ethan finally spoke up.
“You seem comfortable with him,” he said, bringing up the topic randomly. I didn’t turn around to face him as he expected. “Should I be uncomfortable, is that your suggestion?”
“That’s not what I said.”
“No,” I replied calmly. “It’s what you meant.” We both stayed quiet for some time, saying nothing.
“He’s my rival, and you are aware of that,” Ethan said at last, and I could swear it took a lot for him to say that.
“You keep saying that,” I murmured. “As if it explains everything that has been happening.”
“It should.” I faced him then, too sudden in a way he never expected.
His expression was carefully blank, but his eyes betrayed him, too dark, restless, and somehow, I could see it radiating with something that looked a lot like jealousy.
And there it was again, that unmistakable strange, forbidden thrill that always crowded his face.
“I enjoy his company so much,” I said honestly, hoping to get him very pissed, and it worked magically.
His nostrils flared up immediately. “Why did you say that?”
I shrugged. “He listens to everything that I have to say. He doesn’t bark orders to me like I'm his commodity. He doesn’t watch me like I’m about to disappear the next minute.”
His gaze became dull, very darkened like he would punch me any second. “I watch you because I have to, because it's my duty.”
“Do you?” I asked quietly, waiting for the regular exercises he always gives. For a moment, I thought he might answer. But instead of giving the answers that I was expecting, he turned away.
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That night, lying in bed, I stared at the ceiling and tried to untangle my thoughts from many things in my mind. I enjoyed Adrian’s presence and I was beginning to wonder if there's more to that.
I enjoyed the warmth of his laughter, the way he cooked with me like we were equals, the way he spoke to me like my opinions mattered.
But the part that unsettled me, the part I refused to name, was how much I enjoyed Ethan’s reaction to it.
The way his control showed up, the way his calmness became the center of attraction.
The way his eyes followed me more intensely when Adrian was around, like he was afraid to blink. I told myself it meant nothing. I told myself it wasn’t love, that I couldn’t love Ethan, not after everything that happened. Not after secrets, control, silence, possession masquerading as protection. That I didn’t love him, that I just liked seeing him jealous.
That was all. But is it truly so?