Chapter 14 The Plan B.
Delilah.
I watched his hands clench and unclench the steering wheel, wondering where to go from here. I didn't know what he was talking about, but then again, I did. I just wouldn't admit it.
Admittance was where the problem always started.
“I don't know what you're talking about.” I started, wanting to get my words in before he began shouting. “Nothing happened. We're just business partners. There's nothing going on, I promise.” I looked at him, willing him to believe me. It wasn't working.
“So you are telling me that every single thing I saw, the lingering eyes, the hand-holding, everything, was just me?” His face was one of shock, like he couldn't believe it. “So I'm lying then, I'm lying to you, yes?”
“No, of course not, that's not what I'm saying.” He was getting very angry now. I didn't know what else to do.
“Look, Jess. I'm a pretty woman. It's okay that other men ogle me. But that's where you are different from them. You're my husband, okay? So whatever you see is nothing. I love you.” He looked at me, his heavy breathing filling the car.
He was finally calming down. At least I had done something to please him.
The thing is, he had rejected me time and time again for the past few months up until we got married. He had made sure I felt less and less of myself every single time I looked in the mirror.
I had to find that love somewhere. It had to come from somewhere. I wasn't going to let him do that to me. Let me lose myself. So it was more his fault than mine.
And I wasn't also going to let him ruin a marriage that took us years to build over his stupid jealousy. He raised his hand to me, hand inches from my face.
“What are you doing, Jess?” He put his hand back down, shame washing over him. “I'm sorry, Lila. I'm sorry I did this to you. I'm really sorry.” He took my hands, squeezing them, looking deep into my eyes like he was willing me to believe him now.
“I promise I would never do anything to hurt you. I just got scared. I don't want to lose you. I just don't want to lose you.” He looked down, sad, frustrated. I almost felt bad.
And then I remembered all the times he walked out on me when I wanted him. When I needed him. I breathed, playing the righteous anger role. I pulled my hands from his and looked out the window.
“Drive,” I said. And then he started the car.
The car revved and soon we were on the road, moving through the night streets easily, streetlights flying by. I was wondering exactly what Darius's next move was. Jess's self-righteous anger was the least of my problems at the moment. I needed some kind of way out.
I needed some kind of plan B.
I needed Aria out of the picture and quickly.
We drove home simply in silence the rest of the way. He parked the car and I got down immediately, walking into the house and up the stairs without a word. When he closed the door behind him and sat down on the bed, I looked at him intently.
“You don't trust me, do you? You don't trust me.” His eyes shot up, meeting mine. The shame in them was palpable.
I was doing something right.
I went quiet again, walking around and doing my bidding, taking off some clothes and preparing myself to go back into the bathroom.
“I'm going to the bathroom. I need to wash off.” He nodded, unwilling to say anything.
He was quiet. Too quiet.
But he was not my problem now. He was not a priority. I walked into the bathroom, pulling out my phone almost immediately. I pulled up my contact list, scrolling through. I looked through the names, finding somebody trustworthy, somebody who could do it.
I already knew the person I was looking for long before I entered the bathroom. It was not Darius. It was somebody else. Cleaner, more proactive. He was who I needed. He could do this for me.
I messaged immediately.
I need you to handle something for me. Much quieter than the last time.
The message ticked twice. He'd seen it.
I want you to kill a girl.
He responded immediately.
I'm available.
Perfect.
I want you to do it cleanly. I want you to take her as soon as you can.
The three dots appeared almost immediately, adrenaline pumping through my bloodstream as I stood in the bathroom, my hands propped up on the sink. I looked in the mirror, locking eyes with my reflection, thoughts flashing through my mind.
This wasn't what I'd planned. Arya was making me a monster, and I would gladly be that monster if it meant not having her interfering in my life any longer.
I looked down. A new message.
Who are we talking about?
I was typing.
Aria. Jones. Lives in the poorer side of the city, with her grandmother. She's not very far. Can you do it?
The next message came in almost immediately.
Consider it done. Let's talk pay.
I smiled.
Double, with interest, if you get the job done well. You're going to have to be patient, though. I have somebody on it already.
Done.
I closed the app and shut off my phone. I walked into the shower, turning on the hot water and letting it rain down on me. My skin burned, and I felt it completely. I let the feeling wash over me, take me away from this place.
I couldn't believe he was jealous. I couldn't believe he even had the right. There wasn't anything Jeff hadn't done to me. He made me feel useless, like I would never meet up. What right did he have to be jealous?
I was angry, fuming.
I just did not want to sound too defensive, so that my cover wasn't blown. When I walked out of the shower, my skin red from the burning water.
He was still sitting on the bed, unchanged, quiet, eyes downward at the hardwood floor. He was rethinking things. He definitely felt bad. I closed the door of the bathroom, and he heard it turning towards me. He got up and walked to me, looking into my eyes.
“I'm sorry, Delilah. Really.
Don't let this ruin our marriage. Please, I beg you.”