Chapter 45

No, I hadn't forgotten, but I resolve to wait for Josh. If it was something terrible anyway I would have his chest to cry on, it was like a perfect escape valve for me. I know I would only hear memories, and that knowing about it wouldn't change the past at all, but I wanted to know. I wanted to understand my mother's anguish, did she suffer? Did she decide to return out of fear of my father? I wanted to know absolutely everything!

Josh jumped out of bed, and offered me his hand. We went to take a shower together, and the desire from last night still hadn't passed. Then we got back up against the wall. He was delicious, and who could blame me for wanting to spend all my time coupled up with this man? He was perfect, and I didn't know how else to describe him, much less with a less flashy adjective.

Josh was endowed with a strength, and grace that I had not seen in anyone else, ever!

As we stepped out of the shower, wrapped in towels ready to mess up our bed again, someone knocked on our door.

"Come in!"

Shouted Josh, and I shot him a look at the same moment. We're not even wearing clothes!

And it was said and done, Hannah came through the door, when she saw us she made a face of disgust, and turned to Josh.

"They're attacking now, a siege is being formed at the castle gate. Some parts of the reserves have been burned Josh. The prediction is that they will get here soon, considering that night has already fallen."

Damn there was no time for anything else, Josh got dressed as best he could, gave me a kiss on the forehead and left accompanying Hannah to the room they called the "combat room" which by the looks of it had never been used, I bet.

I dressed more calmly, went to look for Adam, because if I was going to die for sure it would be knowing the whole truth.

I looked for him in every corner of the castle and could not find him. Only one place was missing: the garden.

I know you're thinking "Don't you go there Olivia Fuck" 'Josh didn't tell you?" but that's who I am, and I knew I could take care of my father's soldiers.

I walked on without anyone noticing me, as all attention was on the Aaryn attack right at full dusk.

And when I walked out through the opening there was Adam sitting on the bench, watching the roses that were growing beautifully in that spot.

"Adam," I called out.

"Hi, Olivia... What are you doing here? Weren't you forbidden to come in the garden?"

" So that's why you came here to hide from me?" I said smiling and approaching him.

"Actually yes."

He looked at me with an icy stare, so different from the look on Josh's face, and everyone else's there.

"I'm sorry... I know it's hard to talk about her."

"More than you know, but it's not just that"

He looked away from mine every time I stared at him, so I simply turned forward and sat quietly next to him. Hoping that he would decide to open up.

"You know Olivia"

He began, and I could feel his difficulty in the air - I loved your sister, she was like a ray of light in my life. Well, it wasn't always like that, I fucking hated her, she was a pain in the ass, arrogant to the last hair on her head, and I was sure she was right about everything. But, she was also beautiful, and smart, and loving with everyone, and always knew what to tell me when I was in deep shit. I planned a life with her, a son, houses, living away from that. All of that.

"That's what I want to know about, her reason for wanting to go to my father's castle..."

"Your father tricked her Olivia! That's how she came back!"

"And how did that happen? Was she with you?"

"She stayed out of the castle for three days, she told me you were going to explore I don't know what with your friend, so she was going to take time off from the nanny life"

He smiled, but the smile was sad

"We stayed together, we already knew about the baby since the fever, and your mother knew everything about everything! It was amazing...I told her not to come back, to run away, France maybe, there they are receptive to couples like us.... And then your father..."

"Tell me, please Adam..."

FLASHBACK

"I know I left the Castle and Lucius would accept us yes Adam, it's just a matter of custom, don't so many people go through this? He already has a new woman in his bed"

"Not when it comes to an ancient war Vivian, have you gone crazy?"

"No I haven't, look Lucius is tolerant but I have my daughter, maybe our son is the symbol of something much bigger, this could change everything you don't understand!"

"I understand that, but I'd rather not be a symbol of shit and have you safe with me! I've already told you... You're not coming back! Your daughter will be fine! We'll pick her up later."

"I can't do that... Do you understand? She's my responsibility Adam, I'm the only mother she has! How can I just disappear from her sight forever?"

"Fine, I'm not asking you to abandon her! Tell her the truth and let's go!

"I'll think about it I promise!"

"Then she came back, and I noticed that she never came back, she didn't communicate, she didn't talk to me anymore and I was already losing my mind.

I went to her bedroom window and it was empty, I walked in with fury and hatred in my eyes, I didn't care about anything else! In my mind her father had made her some kind of prisoner. So I faced him, went to his room, killed many on the way. And simply when I came face to face with him, he told me that he killed her. For the "dirty fetus inside her, he had purified her soul and now she would rest with your ancestors. Deep down I wanted to die, I had lost the great and true love of my life there, and nothing else mattered to me.

And it was then that the cursed one said "You will live, to mourn her death all your life knowing that it was your fault for contaminating her with the seed of your misfortune" They threw me out of the castle and I left after I told Jade everything. And that's what happened!"

"Oh my God... She's back because of me."

I felt the hard punch in my stomach.

"Don't feel that way please, the hate has to be directed at your father, and no one else."

I felt my face get wet, they were my insistent tears against my face